
Henry Abbott examines a slice of the NBA's culture — specifically, players' dining habits — in this oddly fascinating post at TrueHoop.
[S]prinkled in there among the things players talk most frequently — you hear it again and again — is the Cheesecake Factory.
Nowadays, if ever someone tells me that they bumped into an NBA player out in public, I like to stop them mid-sentence and guess: "Was it at the Cheesecake Factory?" It can make you look like a freaking genius… People always want to know what it's like to be an NBA player. I feel pretty confident that one of the easiest and most accurate things you could do to live just like an NBA player is to eat a meal at the Cheesecake Factory.
Abbott then posits why NBAers are drawn to the Factory and examines who's gone on record in their support of the soulless chain: Gilbert Arenas (natch), Lindsey Hunter, J.J. Redick, Bobby Simmons, and Andre Iguodala, among others.
"Ooh, look at me, I'm a basketball star and can afford to eat with the sultan at the Cheesecake Factory!" Well, la dee dah, you princes of roundball. Some of us are getting by on Ramen noodles and Olde English High Gravity, you know.


Mmmm…avocado eggrolls and Anchor Steam…
How bout some flingers or extreme fajita's?
Mac & cheese and Old Style for me after I get my tax refund.
@woodrow: What about your massive stimulus check, which will make everything all better? Then treat yourself to a Po' Boy Shrimp Sandwich. And Old Style.
Surprisingly the cheesecake at The Cheesecake Factory is terrible. Discuss.
/way old SNL reference
Someone should tell these fellas that the Cheesecake Factory fucking sucks.
There is nothing soulless about the tiramisu cheesecake.
@whydoyouask
Stimulus check goes for my stimuli – strippers.
@ grimey:
soulless? no. ball-less? yes.
While I hear nothing bud bad things about the Cheesecake Factory, as a child, I LOVED the Spaghetti Warehouse.
And I hear you'll like the way you look at the Men's Warehouse.
Warehouses > Factories.
Oh, and
Whorehouses > Warehouses
// Master of the obvious
Vince Carter didn't see the other NBA players at the Cheesecake Factory.
The Cheesecake Factory is held in high regard by both professional athletes and corporate executives looking for fine dining, hospitable service, and quality cheesecake.
Matt,
You are fucking freaking me out. Olde English HG and Ramen soup* are exactly what I had last night. I swear upon Christ himself.
*Beef
An NBA player's metabolism is higher than the average American's. They can eat Cheesecake Factory 24/7 and still be fine as long as they do their wind sprints and run up and down the court on a consistent basis.
I would think NFL players would like the Factory–the portions are ginormous. Also, the menu is thicker than the Redskins playbook.
Vince Carter eats at the Beefcake Factory.
//that's two VC-gay jokes from me today
True Story: I live in Marina Del Rey, CA and there is a Cheesecake Factory across the street from my house. The other day I was going to get gas and I see a black dude following me in a pimped out SUV, head bobbing up and down and jerking left and right, obviously lost. He stays behind me for another couiple of miles or so, eventually following me into the Shell station.
As I get out to pump gas he comes up to me and says:
"Excuse me, do you know where…"
"The Cheesecake Factory is?" I interject.
"Yeah. How did you know that?" he asked.
"Lucky guess…" I replied.
Swear to God it's true.
I wonder if Lindsay Hunter sprinkles phen-phen over his Godiva Chocolate Brownie Sundae? Sounds like Val Kilmer could use a friend like Lindsay.
@ enrico
i salute you for it.
I saw Gary "The Glove" Payton at the Cheesecake Factory in Beverly Hills once. He had at least five women with him. Whether or not they were mothers of his illegitimate children remains to be seen.
"Good to be here, I just got back from Red Lobster" – Isiah Thomas