I've barely heard of Hunter Pence before this morning, but the Astros' young outfielder will now be forever famous for having the spatial reasoning of a barn swallow: Pence crashed through a plate glass sliding door that he thought had been left open, leaving him with lacerations all over his body.
Pence said he was preparing to go into the hot tub with a friend outside his apartment when he decided to go to the bathroom first. At that point, he had left the door open. When he headed back he didn't realize his friend had shut it, he said…
"There's like a ledge to go from the outside to inside and I was kind of hopping to go get up the ledge," Pence said… "And the glass door was shut, so I just didn't see the door and just jumped through it."
That sucks. One moment you're getting ready for some sexy time with a hot young piece of A in your jacuzzi, then the next thing you know you're on the ground, dazed, and covered in blood. Kind of like a date with one of my readers.
[FanHaus]
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Your readers go on actual dates? With women?
Sounds like the time I railed a chick on the rag… It looked like I shot my dog in my bed when really I just slit her throat.
Hits like a beast, travels like a bird
The shit people will pull to get out of playing for the Astros.
It isn't a real date until you finish it like a scene from Seven with the strap on…."I fucked her with it!!!!! I….FUCKED….HER!!!! Get this thing off ME!!!"
He just doesn't want to admit that he was trying to be a badass, but then he turned into a little bitch when he saw blood. Had it been me, the blood would have made me rock fucking hard.
I walked through a plate glass door once, too…when I was nine
@Hercules
Were you tested for HGH?
"I've barely heard of Hunter Pence before this morning…"
Michael David Smith would like a word with you.
The Kool-Aid Man (not to be confused with Maroney) thinks Pence is a pussy.
walking through a plate glass window – it's good practice for playing center field in Houston (with the flag pole and the hill in the way)
I still think he's smarter than Emmit Smith.
Cris Angel laughs at your inability to walk through glass.
I’m going to need them chicks in an untouched photo, stat.
Dammit, man I said STAT.
Yeah, we mos def need that hot tub picture…..and soon!