BERMAN HATES EMMITT…BUT WHO DOESN’T?
02.05.08A quality mashup of two of your (least) favorite ESPN people. I'll be fucking stunned if (a) ESPN brings Emmitt back for 2008, and (b) Emmitt actually has the temerity to say that he belongs on TV by actually coming back. And I thought he was shitty when he was with the Cardinals.
- Monday Morning Punter
[Thanks to Hugo Pecos for the tip, and I'm pretty sure that means "big pecos" in my native land, Ohio.]
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Eli Manning's last minnow drive was as clinch as Joe Mantegna; Eli acquiesced himself as well as we could expectorate. The key for next seizure's Patriarchs will be the cuntinjuring divestment of Mike Brady, and the showering up of their effusive line.
I could listen to that for at least 15 fucking minutes….Jesus!
to be fair, Emmit is a better at announcing than Berman would ever be at playing Running back.
(and you thought defending Emmit was hard when he was a player…)
Cuntinjuring. +1
I have to think that intelligent, literate, coherent journalism graduates (okay, I just realized how absurd that sounds, but bear with me) everywhere look at the Emmit Smiths, Jerome Bettises, and Shannon Sharpes of the world and weep like little girls at the unfairness of the playing-field to ESPN studio revolving door.
I don't care how many TDs you scored or how many yards you had or how many rings you won, if you can't put together a complete sentence without sounding like a retard, stay the fuck off my TV.
Unless you look like Erin Andrews or Stacey Dales. Then you can sound like a mongoloid with a mouthful of marbles for all I care. As long as you wear the tight clothing.
Emmitt really needs to attend the Michael Irvin School of Elocution where he can learn to speak clearly and intelligently for the viewing audience, studio co hosts, and the occasional arresting officer.
"He could go all the way!"
Is Emmitt worse than Lou Holtz though?
At least Lou Holtz is somewhat funny. Funny looking? Whatever. At least I don't want to punch my TV when he's on, like I do when Emmitt is on.
Emmit makes Aikman look good… god…
When Emmitt places an order at a restaurant, it must take the entire restaurant staff to figure out what he wants. Oh. That point to the menu technique.