next round of ABC's "Dancing with the Stars." It's fucking stupid to write about, because no amount of mockery from awesome people like me will stop otherwise credible athletes from joining the likes of Jerry Springer and Joey Fatone on that show. On the other hand, it'll be light years more interesting than most Dolphins games last year.
Basically the only reason to watch that show is to see the wonders that a career of dancing does for the female instructors (and, on occasion, hot contestants like season 1 winner Kelly Monaco, pictured on the left with show regulars Regina Poryes, Kym Johnson and Cheryl Burke in Vegas). Those women are tauter than guitar strings. Makes you wanna turn 'em inside out, wear their skin, and play their internal organs like a set of bagpipes.
…metaphorically, of course.


…metaphorically, of course.
Of course…
If I tell a bouillaibaisse joke, will anyone get it?
Yes.
A @wwsm: Good. Because that's some mighty fresh bouillaibaisse.
I need to start watching tv more often……
Is that a clear sided pool? A block of jello? Ice? No, really. It's like an optical illusion I can't stop staring at.
Because that's some mighty fresh bouillaibaisse.
Here I thought you were calling them clams. Which is not very gentleman-like at all.
Meta.wha….?
I would pay good money to hear Emmitt Smith use "bouillaibaisse" in a sentence.
That bouillaibaisse is missing one thing, my love mussel.
I would pay good money to hear Emmitt Smith use "bouillaibaisse" in a sentence.
He did already, when he was talking about that hit Linda Ronstadt song.
If I told an "I have a boner" joke, would anyone get it?
Since Adam Corolla is going to be on, I assume that we are two years away from seeing Simmons do the Charleston with Tom Bergeron as well.
If I said "I have a bouillon cube in my pee-hole" would anyone get it out?
I'm fairly certain that picture is taken from the top-optional pool at the Mirage in Vegas. Which makes me wonder….why aren't those girls topless?
By the way, from my experience last summer, you're better off saving your money on the cover for entry into this pool, as the only freaky girls are strippers- but since you're out in the broad daylight, you can't really choke them without recourse. It's better to just head out to a regular pool and check out the 21 yr olds in skimpy bikinis that don't have extra mileage on them from drug abuse and guys like me.
Just a lil' travel tip from me to you…
Monica Seles.
I cranked out many a batch to her
Monica Seles? I'd stab that.