01.31.08 YOU’RE WITH ME, TWO-HOUR MOVING JESUS

I think Berman is upset

So fucking unprofessional.

one of the greatest videos to hit the interweb in a long time.

Did he just sip a Miller High Life????

I bet Berman had a boner throughout this rant.

/head explodes

That was amazing. 

Maybe his leathers are too tight..

I know "people moving around" is so fucking annoying. It's a damn good thing he doesnt' cover sports for a living or anything.

Plus, I was hoping for a heart attack at any point. Fat and furious. 

That was better than the Casey Kasum meltdown tape.

But I was really hoping when he reached under the desk, it would be for a bottle of the brownest of the browns rather than a sad little Diet Coke. 

Brownest of the Browns? Is that Derek Anderson or Brady Quinn? And why would they be under the desk—ohhhhh. I got it.

Would you quit moving around down there? I'm trying to concentrate. What, I'm the first guy to pay you $500 to take it in the ass and moo like a cow? Is it so hard to just moo a little so I can get off? Jesus. I'm trying to get off, I give you $500, and all you do is shake a little and moan. MOOO! MOOO! Is that so hard? Ahh, hell, my wood is completely gone. JESUS.

Chris "I can't handle my job and act like a bloated primadonna" Berman

Hmm…this nickname stuff is harder than I thought.

Nah, I think D'Qwell Jackson is probably the brownest of the browns.

GODDAMN MOTHERFUCKING CUNT ASS BITCH SHITHEADS GODDAMMIT ITS LIKE YOU NEVER HAD A FUCKING CLUE ABOUT WHO YOU ARE WORKING WITH AND WHAT I EXPECT WHEN I AM ABOUT TO GRACE THE, ooooh what's that, diet coke with a hint of lemon!??!?!  Fuck yea!  MMMMmmmmmm… Where was I? 

 oh yea, MOTHER FUCKING BITCH FLAP CUNT ASS SONS A BITCHES QUIT MOVIN ON MY SET YOU NOOB TV SLUTS.

I feel sorry for whoever was waiting for him when he got home.  And heaven help them if dinner isn't waiting and warm. 

Between this video and BDD's Jambaroo, this was one of the best Deadspin days in a while.

As good as this is, it doesn't even touch the Casey Kasem meltdown. 

I want a goddamn concerted effort to come out of a record that isn't a fucking uptempo record every time I do a goddamn death dedication.

Could. Go. All. In. Sane.

The Kasem is another classic, as is Paul Anka, Dennis Green of course, and Hitler in Downfall.

i was lucky enough to meet chris once. he was one of the most personable, down to earth people i have ever met. we are all human and make mistakes. cut the guy a break. 

^^^^^^ the with leather woman makes her first public blog appearance?^^^^^^

You're with me,  rklein4028.

i was lucky enough to meet chris once. he was one of the most personable, down to earth people i have ever met. we are all human and make mistakes. cut the guy a break.

"He was hung like a horse, baked delicious dinner rolls, sang like an angel, and fucked like a stallion."

Berman, don't you have a show to get ready for? 

2? 

2!?!

Hes pissed,

to the highest levels of pissivity.

Was anyone shocked by this behavior, his pompousness oozes out of every sentence he utters.

I'm surprised he didn't make an intern open his diet coke for him.

"Can we fit in me catching the ball again in Tampa Bay at The Old Sombrero"

HE is the reason for the mute button