01.04.08 WEEKEND PICKS: NFL WILD CARDS

I'm working on a little rendition party for Mr. Cook. Hehe. We'll see if a few hours of water-boarding can cleanse the total douchebaggery from him.

Figures Dane Cook's from fucking Boston. I mean, really, where else could he be from, ya know? 

Matt, did that article really just read "Sending his rivalry with Dave Chappelle to a whole other level, Cook took to the stage Tuesday night at Hollywood's Laugh Factory and cracked jokes for a record seven hours, besting Chappelle's marathon 6-hour, 12-minute mark for the longest act in club history."

Rivalry with Dave Chappelle? This is DANE COOK, we're talking about, right? Lets see……one of the five funniest comedians of the last ten or more years and an unfunny douchebag who mugs and runs around in front of screaming 18 year old girls who think he's 'dreamy'. Yeah, quite a rivalry.

I fucking hate people. Seriously. Die. All of you*.

(*–Not including those of you who agree with me).

@Jonathan: My first bet would've been Columbus. You rarely see that staggering level of self-importance anywhere outside of the OSU family.

ANYWHERE over Pittsburgh??? But they have Sidney Crosby, dammit!

Dave Chappelle/Dane Cook is a rivalry sort of like Jets/Pats is a rivalry.

FUCK BEES? NO, FUCK DANE!!!!

Ike Barinholtz as Dane Cook >>>>>>>>>> Dane Cook.

@hhy: 6 hours and 12 minutes of Cook's set consisted entirely of Dave Chappelle jokes.

I say Redskins over 'hawks

And Bucs over Giants

Jags over Steelers

I agree on Charger pick 

No way the T.B. Fuckinqueers beat Big Blew.

The other 48 minutes came from the Jokemaster Jr. he got for christmas.

I'd much rather bungee jump with my dick than watch Dane Cook for 5 mins. If I were to meet (hehe meat) him I would insert my size 13 foot in his ass. I would imagine his rectum feels like a pair of fur lined slippers and just as warm and inviting.

"Fuck Dane Cook, he's a cunt."

- Louis C.K.

Weeks later…

“Fuck Dane Cook, he’s a cunt.”

- Dane Cook

I kind of want to see Chappelle break the record (I live close enough to the Laugh Factory) but kind of not. Seven hours in a row is more time than I can spend doing anything, and lord knows that includes work. That's longer than Godfather I and II back to back. In England, a hit TV series doesn't last seven hours total.

Chapelle played a surprise show at the Punchline here in S.F., and he went about 4 hours.  Believe me, nobody is funny enough to make me want to watch them for 4 hours.

To be rival comedians wouldn't they both have to be funny?

Chapelle's hilarious in any state of mind.

Cook would only be funny if he was being tased the whole 7 hours, but only if the taser darts were attached to his nuts. Once you've had Tourgasm with electricity you can't have Tourgasm without it.

Dane Cook is funny like rape..wait…like cancer…..no, hold on…….like dead hookers…nooo…..like a VT shooting spree? Ok, he isn't as funny as those things, but at least he's as funny as the people he steals his jokes from. Right?

I swear on everything holy that if I jinx the HOX this weekend, I'm never making another serious pick for as long as I'm a sports writer.

You are not a sports writer. You are a hack. But then again I don't know that for a fact because you delete all the comments that say so. For now I guess you get the benefit of the doubt. 

I swear on everything holy that if I jinx the HOX this weekend, I'm never making another serious pick for as long as I'm a sports writer.

i'll hunt you down if you fucking jinx them…Go HAWKS! 24-10

p.s. TP2151 there is only one "Big Blue" and they ain't your pussy G-Men from Jersey. At least you went with "blew."

p.p.s. BlessTheDanceTeam:

You are not a sports writer. You are a hack.

 yet you read this "hacks" blog. FAIL. eat a cancer infested cock.

Big Nabs is from San Fran.  Is Big Nabs a male gay???

Rain in the forecast today in Seattle…this Skins fan couldn't be more pleased.  Nothing says "NFL playoffs" like watching Shaun Alexander waddle back-first through a hole for a gain of 2 yards.  The rain cancels out the crowd.  The Skins win against this soft team.

The rain cancels out the crowd.

WOW. Have you been to a HOX game? A fucking tornado couldnt cancel us out. What WILL be cancelled out is your good run defense. We dont need/have a good run. We havent had it all year!  Us "softies" 24-10 over your Skins.

p.s. Is it Todd's nap time yet? He should go back to hawking(heh-pun) life-term. 

Enrico, I live here but am from the East Bay.  So, you know, I am totally not gay.  Ignore what everyone else says about me.

oh Enrico Pallazzo

sorry your skins couldn't defeat the "softies." Oh and my oh my a blowout too. I hear crickets in DC because their team was exposed. Have a nice winter…