In its continuing effort to show the rest of the world how great China is — and not at all dictatorial, nope, hahaha… ARREST THAT MAN!!! — new Chinese technologies will be used all over the Olympic Games this summer. For example, Beijing will briefly halt the operation of all the factories that give the city just about the worst air quality in the world and power the Olympic Village with solar power. Because they totally care about the environment!
I'm concerned about something more sinister, however. Remember the new Olympic mascots? They'll be there… in robot form.
Last but not least are the Fuwa robots. Developed by the Chinese Academy of Science, these robots can communicate with tourists in different languages.
Oh no you don't, China. I won't stand for this. There's only one way to properly enjoy a mascot, and that's by stuffing a disgruntled employee inside a creepy furry suit. I mean, sure, it's possible that the robots will be nice — just like it's possible that AIDS won't kill you. I'm just saying, disgruntled employees in furry suits aren't going to use an international sporting event to take over the world and turn us all into slaves.
[Fan IQ]
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ED-209 could totally take Huan Huan
My sources tell me that Merk also pleasures himself to his fathead of C3P0.
Now we all know that rural peasant children will be sewn into robot costumes and then stuffed into those mascot costumes. After 18 days — what's that smell?
More heroes of the Revolution, my friends.
For the past 3 years, I've been all "The robots are coming to conquer us" and the state appointed shrink has been all "you're off your meds again, aren't you?" and I've been all "yes, but that's beside the point"… who's laughing now, Shrink?
Not you, that's who. Dead doctors don't laugh.
I for one welcome our new Robotic Overlords, and offer my services in killing or converting other fleshbags to their service.
Also, the PRC, while certainly not a haven of freedom and democracy, is hardly the stalinist prison state people in the west seem to think it is. In many ways they've out capitalized the capitalists, there is almost no government economic regulation in China that carries real teeth, and business is booming. Not that I personally applaud any of it, I just get annoyed that people in the U.S.A. think we're so much better than the Chinese, we're 3 or 4 major terrorist attacks away from having a government that isn't much different from theirs, think about it.
My ADD kicked in after "Also, the PRC, while…". Can someone give me the Cliff Notes?
Thanks, "DaiMac," for proving that Chinese robots with AIDS have achieved blog-commenting awareness. If they figure out how to make dead hooker jokes, are any of our jobs safe?
PS Later to all the other robots but I'm cool with Roomba.
PPS and the Daryl Hannah replicant.
I for one welcome our new Robotic Overlords, and offer my services in killing or converting other fleshbags to their service.
Interesting from a person with that particular avatar. Down with the toasters.
/outing self as complete geek
The FOX NFL robot is not ammused.
No domo arigato, Mr. Roboto.
I'm currently opperating under the assumption that all Asians are actually 10-15 years younger then they actually appear. This only confirms my beliefs. Think about it.They're all very tiny like Yi or Yao Jackie Chan or John Woo.They're all into cartoons well past adolescense.They like bright shiny lights and robots. C'monI hate China.
way off Joe Buck. Johnny 5? Now that's a sexbot.
Still recycling the Fathead gig, ae Buck?
Your material reeks like a Fox Sportsjacket covered in Troy Aikmen Jizzblast.
Somehere in San Antonio, a sportswriter is weeping at an AIDS joke.
"Somehere" is a word in Texas.
Are they going to use the Awesomo 5000???
Hella Lame!
I still like how Team USA is supposedly staying in Korea and just flying back and forth because of the poor air quality. Though I like to believe it's mainly because China consists of a bunch of communist shit bags.
@HoHosWeKnows: Sorry that I have an appreciation for the Middle Kingdom you apparently lack, yet I hail from the good old USA myself. I'll try not to get all political-like on the sports humor blog if its so out of place ;)
@SmelloRedux: Yeah I thought of that when I posted it, it was more of an oblique simpsons reference though (Kent Brockman: "I for one welcome our new insect overlords!") than anything else. The Lords know, I would never support the Toasters for real. I'm kind of mixed on the morality of sleeping with hot asian ones though ;)
@BigPhil: The Air Quality in Beijing is pretty bad, when I was there we had several days where there was a fine white mist in the air with a greasy chemical quality that still makes me gag when I think of it. The only way the city remains livable is because its positioned in a natural desert valley area where high winds drive out the pollutants periodically, but sometimes it takes several days.
However, its really the same problem we have, they just don't have a clean air act or a strong environomental movement to restrain their polluters. The worst thing is what is happening to the great and historic rivers.
Oh crap, there I go again inserting facts and politics into a space where people only want tits and jock jokes ;)
…the more you know
/not busting your balls, actually was interested in your post(s), this morning, when i wasn't drunk, as i was last night at my first attempt to decipher what the hell u were saying
@Merk: Oh its all good, I was up waaay too late last night posting on more blogs than just this one, so I can relate to that ;)
How fucking awesome would it be if that huge Jason Taylor was a robot greeting guests, then he starts spewing about prime directives and shit…
I'd buy that for a dollar.
Put a lid on it DaiMac.
Joe Buck: Eat a whole 10 gallon drum of dicks buddy.