01.31.08 SUPER BOWL REPORT: WORST VACATION EVER
Will Leitch's reading in Tempe, several of us dorky idiots with blogs went next door to get a couple beers. I snapped a few candids with my brand new Elph — purchased last weekend because I can't find my previous digital camera — and someone was like, "Hey, nice camera." And so I'm all, "Thanks, I just got it. But smart guy that I am, I didn't attach the lanyard, so I'm guessing it'll be two days before it slips out of my hand and it breaks." Har har har.
Fast forward to today. Me to myself: "And now to upload all the photos onto my computer… Hey, where's my camera?" Where's my camera, indeed. Fuck if I know. Guess I should have attached that lanyard. And maybe I'd remember where I left it if I hadn't had those five or six Maker's Marks when I got back to the hotel. I suck at life.
So yeah, little Matty's a little too depressed and pissed off to write up a full report of the last 24 hours. But I will say this: the people of Arizona are exceedingly nice. I had a business lunch in Gilbert today — that's a suburb southeast of Phoenix — and as I arrived at the house, a guy walking down the street gave me a friendly wave. There are 8 million people in New York, and no two of them have waved at each other so far this year. But drive into a subdivision in Arizona, and people are like, "Hey look! A person has entered my neighborhood! Hello!"
But it wasn't just one guy. Yesterday in a coffee shop, I got up to leave, and the two old women sitting next to me said, "Have a nice day!" Then I walked outside, and I saw a piece of notebook paper under my windshield wiper. I had parked next to this big-ass truck that had taken up its entire parking spot, so my parking job had spilled over into an extra space — I don't want to return a rental car with dents in the door, you know? So after the truck left, I probably looked like an asshole who had parked carelessly. And here was this piece of paper, scribbled by someone who wanted to let me know what an asshole I was. I pulled the leaf of paper off the windshield and unfolded it.
Please be courteous and park inside the lines!
Best thing that's happened to me so far this trip. Not that that's saying much.
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There are 56 comments about:
SUPER BOWL REPORT: WORST VACATION EVER
Chris Mottram is stalking Ufford
Is that at Shenanigans?
Lots of cocks sucked that night it seems.
mac hands chief the pistol, handle first
Some cell phones now come equipped with cameras. I don't know how they work, but it sounds like the wave of the future.
Just to piss off Matt:
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no
aaaaaaand no.
Picture looks like the cast of The Unfuckables.
/stealing from Attell
Did he insist on sitting at the head of the table?
(FAT PENGUIN is really getting their money's worth outta this SB coverage!)
Theyre only waving 'cause your the 1st guy theyve seen all day that wont steal their hub-caps.
looks like this group needs to rent that house with the friendly strippers provided. Ufford needs entertainment!
Its amazing that the only guys on earth who haven't plowed me were able to congregate in one city for a group photo. The Superbowl: where miracles happen.
One might say, thats hot, in fact.
Didn't they teach you how to read a map in the Marines? Gilbert is Southeast of Phoenix. It is Southwest my beautiful town known as AJ.
*of my
(FAT PENGUIN is really getting their money's worth outta this SB coverage!)
They really are, actually. My stipend wasn't that big.
BTDT — thanks, corrected. Really excellent input.
Nice hoodie.
Excuse me, I believe I ordered the LARGE Sam Adams? HELL-O!
my beautiful town known as AJ.
Do you live in Apple Jacks, or Arizona Jr.?
If a missile hit this place it would have been remembered as 'the day the blogging died.'
They really are, actually. My stipend wasn't that big.
You got a stipend?! What the fuck!
Matt, you look like Ethan Embry in "Can't Hardly Wait" right there. BTW, Welcome to my home state. Now, please be courteous and park inside the lines!
They really are, actually. My stipend wasn't that big.
A stipend?! What the fuck!
Well fuck everything else that ever happened, because I just read this: the new movie "Vicky Cristina Barcelona" [why do we care] directed by Woody Allen [why would we possibly care] contains "[a] steamy menage a trois sequence among Javier Bardem, Penelope Cruz and Scarlett Johansson" [suddenly we care, and care a great deal].
The biggest sports news of the day, courtesy of the Hollywood Reporter. Begin visualizing . . . now.
BtW, the guy second from the front on your right looks like he could be a Latin of some kind. You should pretend he is. Then make horrible Mexican jokes and if people say anything go, "Whatever man, some of my best friends are latino," and hand them this picture that you keep folded up in your pocket for just such an occasion.
AJ = Apache Junction
Four Peaks Brewery?
I hope you tried the Kiltlifter.
If you need some tips on bars to go to, let me know.
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