POWER RANKINGS: CRAZY F’N WEEK, DUDE
01.11.08
which I fucking hate. And also people who actually have some kind of emotional investment in power rankings.
1. Scarlett Johansson. Starring in The Other Boleyn Girl with Natalie Portman and some corsets. What a weird coincidence. I dreamt I was in a movie with the exact same cast, except it was called Ballin' the Other Girl.
2. Crazy f'n stories. The guy catching a swordfish barehanded and the chocolate lab shooting a man were only the tip of the iceberg this week. I barely mentioned the dad who threw his four kids off a bridge, or the two adopted twins who were reunited — in marriage, or the guy who accidentally hanged himself, or the kid who glued himself to his bed to avoid school, or the guy who cooked and ate his girlfriend … Think I'll stay inside this weekend.
3. LSU Tigers. I'm sorry, but they're only #3 in my poll. This will continue until we get a college football playoff.
4. Wieners. This streaker got flipped for real, but fellow wieners Tom Brady and Fenway got to stand in the presence of greatness.
5. The rodeo. Not often you get a first-hand account of an actual sporting event here. Assuming you count Copenhagen ads and bulls trampling people to be a sport. Which I do.
6. American Gladiators. The revamped show debuted … and everyone hated it. But at least the gladiators taught us that Jesus is the ultimate soldier.
7. JaMarcus Russell. Debuting the Cosby poncho.
8. The AVN Awards. It's not sports-related, but I thought some of you might be interested in the photo galleries of the AVN convention, courtesy Napkin Nights.
9. My favorite headline all week.
10. Packers fans. Well la dee dah Mr. Golden Bratwurst. Will you be needing a third extravagant home you barely use next to the stadium?
Random video of the week: Shia Laboeuf is a versatile actor.
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How about this one a la weekend at Bernies?
[www.nytimes.com]
they would have to tie their hair back. I'm afraid it would get in the way while they were blowing me.
This weekend, if you think you see the mark of the beast on your hand, make sure you don’t cut it off and cook it in your microwave
Christopher Lee Mc(Bar-B)Cuin eating his girlfriend was my fav next to the twins.
Thanks for the "napkinnights.com" galleries. Now I need a napkin…
“It’s not sports-related, but I thought some of you might be interested in the photo galleries of the AVN convention, courtesy Napkin Nights.”
Yes, if by ‘some of you’, you mean ‘every perverted one of you assholes.’
That dad probably has a lawsuit pending against The Simpsons.
Homer: Then we roll him up in a carpet, and throw him off a bridge!!!
Go? Go where exactly you fucking drunk.
Can we get ScarJo into hair & makeup please?
Dare I ask what the obsession is with Scarlett Johansson? I heard Benicio Del Toro bent her over in an elevator – which means you'd probably catch more than a swordfish if you dangled your worm in her murky waters.
Best Caption Yet!
Friend of a friend tell you that one Samuel, ae? Quit attempting to sully the name of WL's High Priestess.
Let's form circle and pray that Boleyn Girl has as much nudité as The Tudors, which is the same story. And with that image, Napkin Nights become Kleenex Afternoons.
Besides, we all know they are totally gonna scissor in like 3 seconds, so who cares if Natalie catches it.
@HHWK
Mushy sock Mornings?
Benicio must have bent her over and injected his career into her snatch.
@swany – Just google 'benicio scarlett' and you'll see. Of course, she has denied it, but can you blame her? That dude looks like walking VD.
Benecio IS pretty damn cool. Sounds pretty fishy though, like that Seinfeld episode, Simon, Bennet, Oppenheimer, Taft! When Jerry and George stake out the elevator at that chicks work to bump into her, well he "rescued Penelope Cruz" from an elevator tragedy also… [www.hollywood.com]
So I ain't smellin' what they're cookin' if you 'catch my drift'
Scissor.
The great thing about Scarlett and Natalie hooking up (SHIT. Just came. Excuse me a minute…)
Anyway, the great thing about Scarlett and Natalie hooking up is that Scarlett has enough tits for the both of them.
Giiiiiiinnnnnaaaaaaaaaa
I don't know about all that ultimate soldier stuff, but DAMN! I'm anxiously awaiting the Kyra Gracie issue of FHM…
What gets me about ESPN's Power Rankings is the 3-4 comments that ESPN pulls out onto the bottom of the page (obviously clickthru to get the rest) are often still idiotic, making you wonder just how ridiculously stupid some of the fans got in the rest of the 500+ comments they aren't showing there.
Yes, I hate myself a little when I look at them too.
Oh and Jesus The Ultimate Soldier was my fav post of the week, its so unfair!
I have never laughed harder @ a 289 caption, but then, I'm drunker than a Packers fan right now.
cool game create your own city
[gilykarla.myminicity.com]