This explains everything. Chargers quarterback Philip Rivers here is discouraging young people from having sex, talking about the "power of chastity" and how amazing it is when young people get together and revel in the awesomeness of not having sex.
Thanks a lot, asshole. That's all fine and dandy that you're trapped in an unhappy marriage and hate having sex, but what am I supposed to do if all the teenagers stop having sex? Date a girl in her twenties? Gross.
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I know a stripper named Chastity. She's abstinent, up until your bring out the right amount of coke and cash.
Don't be so harsh. He's really just encouraging anal. Not shitting right for a week is a small price to pay for remaining chaste.
Cock. Block. Jayhawk. K-U!
“I don’t have sex, I fuck.”
/DoogieinRichmond
dood is dumb as a rock…sounds like miss south carolina
Dude needs to stop tickling Nick Hardwick's nuts and go get some ass. Fuckin' pretentious douchebag. I dislike Eli for the whole draft thing but seriously, fuck this guy.
philip rivers should have been a blowjob. i cant stand that prick
what am I supposed to do if all the teenagers stop having sex?
Sounds like parents need to lock up all the Pre-Teens out there.
Steve03: They have been shitting pancakes ever since.
@doogie
Beerfest, nice!! Pretty underrated movie.
Matt, I hope you showed this to fellow gay mafia member Christmas Ape and that he is currently working on a post for KSK.
[door flies open]
@Devang
One of the funniest movies EVER!!!!
broken lizzard movies are great. not a big club dread fan, but beerfest and super troopers are hilarious.
This douche has to be one of the most pretentious Rivers except for that guy from Weezer.
Ya betta ask somebodddaaaaaayyyyyyyy!!! [about sex]
@Doogie and devang: I agree 100%…almost as good as supertoopers…
Meow great meow movie meow funny meow as meow hell meow
@Doogie, Devang, LCPL – Uh oh! Looks like somebody's chugging in my face. (Shoves Fink) Nice chutzpa Fucklestein.
"There ain't no way I'ma come out the closet…. Then I pull out my GUN!!!"
/Phillip. Kelly
“Teens, don’t have sex. Colts fans, go fuck yourselves.”
doogie, devang, alumni, and bp, Broken Lizard has a new movie they are working on called Slammin' Salmon.
[www.imdb.com]
ABSTINENCE IS FOR POOR PEOPLE. THAT IS ALL.
@ Lance
The welfare community thinks you're retarted Micky.
Hey guys, don't forget The Dukes of Hazzard sucked balls!! Oh, and for ST2 (2010) to do the same…
A conference for chastity?
That has to be the horniest group of teens anywhere. I bet a few of those girls will start dropping out of the chastity movement by the second night.
Dude.
+1000 Joe Buck
When Philip Rivers says that chastity is something I will continue to deal with the rest of my life, I guess I should take that seriously. He has won two playoff games, after all.
Pacific Surge was an awesome porno.
@289, I thought it was a new Gatorade flavor
I agree , chastity is a big deal. But what do I know, I spend most of my time harrassing Jay Cutler and random Colts fans who are just trying to tell me that I suck.
Did I really need another reason to NOT like Phillip Rivers? Chastity is worth the same as fat free ice cream and cheese, I do not see the point.
"its something you will deal with for the rest of your life," like herpes or a rape conviction.
you sold me…
for fuck sake. how many cut scenes were there of this stuttering, muttering prick. i'm surprised he can string two words together, let alone two passes.
Wasn't Mark Chmura a guest
speakergroper at this event?He wants them all to come. At a chastity conference? Isn't that just a circle jerk?
MacG, i agree 100%. This asshole is rapidly becoming insufferable.
so chastity is "a lost art" or getting a bunch of dipshit kids in one place at the same time is lost art? Either way what the fuck?
This is equally even more important…
You, my friend, have mastered the English language.
Sounds like sour grapes to me.
so THAT'S why he's always acting super-agro during games. Oh what? Oh he IS getting laid? Oh ok, he's just a fucking douchebag then – thanks for clearing that up.
If there's one way to make sure teens don't have sex, it's to hold a conference on the topic of no-sex. I show up with a box of wine and some spritzers and bickity bam I'm rolling in teen ass.
What Phil means is if you're too stupid to get laid with cash in hand abstinence makes a really great cover.
Phil just needs to use my tried and true opening line to any night of really great sex "Does this smell like chloroform?"
Why yes, yes it does smell like chlora…zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
So what does Rivers tell his THREE daughters? “Ya’ll are mistakes but cute little mistakes?” or “Momma and I didnt boink to have you all. She’s the Virgin Mary. I’m just the Virgin?”