I've never been one to understand the monochromatic get-up college hoops coaches feel like they need to occasionally whip out, ala Bruce Weber in the 2005 title game.
I suppose when you're leading West Fucking Virginia, you're forever going to be a slave to fashion. You can probably chuck a mean battery as well.
Indeed, Bob Huggins was either going the Col. Mustard or Huggy Bear route last night in his first return to Cincinnati since being ousted in 2005 as head coach.
It was none too golden as the Bearcats drubbed the Mountaineers 62-39.
Huggins was later found pantomiming for quarters outside the arena. Don't turn your back, he'll do something wacky. If you're a lady, he'll wave at you. Sorry dude, deposit the change.
-Christmas Ape
This is how it's done, Bill Gates. If you want to donate something to a troubled country, you gotta do it shirtless on the beach with a soccer ball.
David Beckham took his football (but not his shirt) down to the beach at Cabo Sao Roque Resort in Natal, Brazil on Tuesday. No — he wasn't just searching for a picturesque location to remind the world of his hotness — Becks is in town to announce the construction of his "David Beckham World of Sport," athletic complex and soccer academy (his third).
The international star told Agencia Estado news service of the complex, which will include eight soccer fields, golf and tennis facilities, and a 10,000 seat stadium, "I don't want to teach [Brazilians] to play soccer. I want to offer a safe place for kids to develop their abilities.
Apparently this new athletic complex is to be located underneath the waves and only open to hawtt people with camo shorts. BUT NO SHIRTS, READ THE SIGN! Why though is Becks depriving the Brazilians of his invaluable soccer instruction? I'm sure they could use his help in that regard. Later, he'll teach hockey to Canadians, rugby to the Aussies and racism to the Germans. All whilst shirtless. /swoons -Christmas Ape
Even though the Chief has foolishly handed over the reins of the site to a Steelers fan, that won't stem the tide of disconcerting stories coming out of the 'Burgh. Really, I'm not sure anything can.
[Coach] Mike Marshall bit the Central Cambria High School wrestler at practice on Jan. 21, Cambria Township police Officer James McGough said.
"The coach was wrestling with him and bit him in the leg, the upper thigh," McGough said.
The bite caused bruising, but did not draw blood, McGough said. The student, whom McGough did not identify, did not want to prosecute and opted to drop the matter if Marshall agreed to resign, police said.
What? Gotta coach 'em up to protect them creamy thighs, right? For nothing more than to guard against those toothy blowjobs Pittsburgh women and Kordell Stewart give.
Well, at least it was fortunate for the coach this wasn't the college level. Going for the upper thigh could be biting off more than he could chew. -Christmas Ape
Laurence Maroney is known for several things in the choppy high seas of blogs: the nickname "Kool-Aid," his potent supply of construda and therefore being the only member of the New England Patriots not entirely deserving of your contempt.
Rather than pushing construda to kids like he should be, Maroney and Reebok have decided to trade upon that first item, with a line of Kool-Aid influenced sneaks, shirts and caps. OOOOHHHH YEEEEAAAAHHHH
The first installment will launch on February 1st in three great flavors: Grape, Cherry and Strawberry, each complete with hoodies, T-shirts, hats and sneakers. Plus, Reebok packed each of the kicks with extra flavor by crating scent-infused sockliners!
Pfft? Grape? I call bullshit. Nobody drinks "grape." It's purple drank! -Christmas Ape
Hoping to avoid an embarrassing Tim Donaghy situation, Major League Baseball has been conducting thorough background checks of its umpires, hoping to ferret out any sort of deviant behavior that might prove damaging to the sport, like, say, gambling, hiring undocumented nannies, illegally downloading Interpol albums, or, you know, being a member of the KKK.
Umpires are livid that Major League Baseball has sent investigators to their hometowns, asking neighbors a series of questions that include whether the ump belongs to the Ku Klux Klan.
"We did not anticipate that they would approach neighbors posing as a close colleague and friend of the umpire's and asking them questions such as: Do you know if umpire `X' is a member of the Ku Klux Klan? Does he grow marijuana plants? Does he beat his wife? Have you seen the police at his home? Does he throw wild parties?" union spokesman Lamell McMorris said by telephone from India.
Fuck yes he is. And I'm pretty sure Umpire X throws a bitchin' party. He was born Umpire Robertoalomar, but in prison he read about the unspeakable terrors inflicted by minority ball players on his people and decided to rid his name of the mark of the oppressor. -Christmas Ape
"Saint Andrew's Net" is With Leather's daily link dump, written by assistant editor/Chicago native KD. Expect sports and tits.
Send your submissions for Saint Andrew's Net to withleather@gmail.com.
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