Joe Gibbs is retiring from his job as coach, president, and chief guarantor of the Redskins' mediocrity.
Gibbs went 31-36, including 1-2 in the playoffs, after emerging from NFL retirement and his NASCAR career to sign a five-year, $27.5 million contract in 2004. He had always maintained he intended to fulfill the contract, but the 67-year-old coach wavered from that stance Monday when asked if he would return for the final year of his deal.
The blogosphere's leading Redskins fanboy/apologist/homer, Unsilent Majority, has already penned an artful farewell.
Even in the rocky years of the Gibbs comeback we owe a lot of thanks to the legendary coach/preacher. We thank him for two playoff seasons, we thank him for his leadership in the wake of Sean Taylor's murder, but mostly, we thank him for leaving.
Assistant coaches Al Saunders (700-page playbook) and Gregg Williams (overrated) are already the leading candidates, but you can expect Bill Cowher's name to pop up in rumors before Tom Cruise encourages Dan Snyder to hire Les Miles.
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So many names! I'm so confused! Hey, did you guys here some dude on the Redskins got shot? For real.
Yeah, it was time, good move by Joe.
In related news, my new nickname for my penis is “Zipper Deli.”
@Lance
Yeah, I did! It's sad because the ink hasn't even dried on that Brinks Home Security deal he got.
Snyder is hearing good things about Xenu.
I hear it was related to his criminal past. And Wilbon is not surprised in the least
Dude needs to stick to his NASCAR gig. Pretty hard to fuck up when all you have to do is turn left.
So you're saying we can't get a timeout in lap 142? What the fuck?
It really takes creativity to cram the names of Al Saunders, Gregg Williams, Bill Cowher, Dan Snyder, Tom Cruise, and Les Miles's names all into one sentence without the use of a semicolon or forging any brain tumors in the process. Well done sir.
Snyder seems to like Coaches who have let the game pass them by. That's why i think He'll pick Bill Walsh.
He's calling for a 2nd retirement? In a row? That's 15 yards.
Tom Cruise can control Matter, Energy, Time & Space, clearly he's just going to get L. Ron Hubbard to run the show and while he's face-tripping through time He might convert Lombardi. Beware the scientologist playbook, it doesn't actually do anything but it cost a shitload to see it. And it turns your children into monsters.
This is bullshit, Uff, Les Miles doesn't have a high enough thetan count.
Gibbs racing will never be the same, now that they will be powered by Toyota AND Jesus, that fat fucktard Tony Stewart might have a chance.
Gibbs may suck as a coach but is there anything more manly than his playcalling?
POWER I RIGHT 26 iso – nets 2 yards.
POWER I LEAD RIGHT 26 – nets -1 yard
POWER I PLAY ACTION COUNTER TREY LEFT – QB is sacked before throwing ball
PUNT
That's every single one of Joe Gibbs's possessions.