Last month I lost my mind when it was revealed that Fred Smoot was endorsing an energy bar called SMACK.  "Snack on a Smack," you may recall its clever tag line going.  Or perhaps you remember the amazing ad copy:

We believe you could eat real good, get great vitamins and calcium, a smack of energy, and still have chocolate stained lips and fingertips to signify your satisfaction after eating a couple of these bars in such a rush because we are yet to meet anyone that had only one bar at a time.

Well, after that post the nice people at Smack sent me a box of the energy bars, and I gave one of those bad boys a try (note: I successfully had only one at a time).  And I'm disappointed to say that my reaction was much like that of the Redskins' Kedric Golston and Chris Wilson: it's actually pretty good.  There's plenty of chocolate, and the center is composed of a surprisingly soft honey-flavored foodstuff.  I mean, it's an energy bar, so it's not like the, um, measuring stick is set really high, but it's far superior to your run of the mill Power Bar, and it's even better than most of the energy bars that try to taste like candy bars.

For comedic purposes, it's unfortunate that Smoot's bar isn't as disappointing as his career, but the good news is that this is just the energy you need for a long night of servicing strippers with a double-ended dildo.  Assuming you're out of cocaine.