STOP. JUST STOP.
12.06.07Mercury Morris made YET ANOTHER appearance on ESPN to reiterate that a team that goes 19-0 can never be the equal of a team that went 17-0, again using his trademark specious "logic" and nonsensical metaphors. And I have to give him some credit: he established beyond a shadow of a doubt that this year's Pats team can never live up to stratospheric douche-osity of the '72 Dolphins. Someone has to stand up and call Mercury Morris what he really is: a felon with a haircut from three decades ago trying to get in the spotlight now because he couldn't get in it when he played.
For the love of God, man! Can't you see I'm trying to hate the Patriots over here?
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pats and dolphins can both lick my balls
Let your soooouuuulllll gloooowwwwwwwwwww.
There has to one gracious guy from that 72 Dolphins team on record saying " fuck if I care if they go 19-0, we won the Super Bowl in 1972 so what does it matter?"
Thanks for putting my Romo-hatred in perspective. I guess he's not that much of a douche. Romo would never be able to spit lyrics so deep as "to go undefeated you have to win every game"
The 72 Dophins will be dead soon. I can handle Hip-Hop over here talking shit for another few years, but can't take the Pats going undefeated and having to deal with Massholes talking shit the rest of my life.
Thanks, Matt. After watching that I feel so
gayenraged I may support one of your sponsors and go and get me some of them American Apparel leggings andstrut my stuffuse them to strangle Mercury Morris.Mr. Morris is clearly trying to seal the deal for the custodian job over at ESPN studios after the Pats go un-beaten and his Dolphins are forgotten. And with SVP as a reference, I think it's in the bag.
Where the fuck is Rae Caruth when you need him?
I was waiting for him to say and the BAAAANND!
Why can't someone break into Mercury Morris' house and…….
@WWSM
Hiding in the trunk of a car.
Mr. Morris? I have Fred Goldman on the other line. He says you should just get over it.
I'm bleeding from the ears.
@Pauly-
"Mop mop mop, all day long. Mop mop mop while I sing this song. Gonna wax that floor, gonna make it shine. Gonna take off the spraypaint with terpentine.
Hey, don't walk there, I just mopped.
Hey, that's my bucket!
Don't grab my jerry curl!!"
Mercury Morris? More like Jerkury Morris!
Here's the thing…even Dolphins fans roll their collective eyes at the '72 players' shenanigans…but if the Pats go undefeated, we'll hear from the entire Mass-hole douchebag army for all eternity. As for the '72 Dolphins, it's like Miss Hoover said about Mr Burns: "He's bad, but he'll die. So I like it."
He talks about the Pats being the "bride" a lot. I think he got tired of being a prison bitch so now he wants to be "da husban' fo' a wile." I love the way ESPN is giving this guy every opportunity to prove his douchebaggery for all time.
More like Garret Morris.
I'm telling you, this gayness is doing nothing but cloud the lines. If he was not black, I would have thought this douche died of Aids already.
I would like to smash this guys mouth in with a flange mace.
Jerkury Bore-us? Nope?
It just goes to show how fucked up our country is.
If I were to light this cokehead on fire, I would be the one to go to jail, instead of getting tickets to the Super Bowl on the 50 yard line.
Mercury Morris rhymes like Snoopy-Dog.
Urge…..to kill….rising…
Morris the cat makes more sense than Mercury Morris.
So, if the Patriots go 19-0 does that mean Jabbar Gaffney gets to be this fuckhead in 2042?
I'm rooting for the Masshole Douchebag Army, not just because I am a fan, but also it will piss off the High-and-Mighty readers of WL for eternity. Muaahahaha!
Is it just me or does he look a bit like the guy that plays Jackie Chiles on Seinfeld?
@Pauly
If there is a God, he's hopefully bent over a metal toilet with a shank at his throat squealing like a pig.
@TEXAS - I think the more likely candidate will be Rodney Harrison.
I hope in 20 years that Duce Staley comes out of the woodwork to represent the 2005 steelers and their record if some young gun QB threatens to be the youngest Superbowl Winner ever… I bet his raps are better.
@ Bob Loblaw, everyone here, including myself, would gladly assist with your case with representation, advice, and monetary support.
You sir, would be deserving of 50 yardline superbowl tickets for the next 10 years.
Using his own tremendous logic then – no one, including his '72 Dolphins, have won a Super Bowl since 1967.
I would like to see a murder-suicide with this bozo and Belichick.
I would stick my dog's balls in this guy's ear if I ever saw him walking down the street – why on earth does ESPN put him on in the first place? He was a mediocre (at best) running back in his 8 year NFL career with a 516 yds/season average, whoopty fuckin' doo
Maybe the Pats will douche with Mercury Morris.
Well, I'm one of the aforementioned Massholes and I can tell you that some of us are starting to buy into the logic that we'll have to drop one on our way to the playoffs if we really want to go all the way.
If the Patriots drop one, it'll work to scare everybody enough to really work harder. Winning is awesome, don't get me wrong…. and I'm extremely proud to be a Patriots fan, but I'd rather win another Super Bowl than have an undefeated regular season.
Mercury Morris is the "top terd" on Pat Patriot's "shit list".
My favorite part is where he clearly has no idea of the proper usage of the word "connotes." IT DOESN'T "CONNOTE" ANYTHING YOU IDIOT, IT'S THERE IN THE OPEN! THERE'S NO CONNOTATION!
But he's one hell of a golfer.
This douch just needs to shutup and fade away like the rest of that team has. Yes you are still the only undefeated team so far, yes we know this, most of us acknowledge that fact but most don't really care. You can quote stats, and reveal whatever other meaningless information about the team you know or think you know but most sports fans don't give a flying fuck what happened in 72.
What I would love to see, and I hate admitting this, I'd love to see the pats go undefeated and the dolphins go winless this year. I'd be a little more salt in the wound for the dolphins. I know it doesn't mean anything in respect to the 72 team, but still a nice little cap on the issue.
Whatever Mercury. He's hooked on this undefeated season thing like he
isused to be hooked on cocaine. He gets high on getting to blab about the '72 Dolphins.Somebody buy this guy an 8-Ball so he can OD and spare us all. Then he could die and never see New England take his beloved record.
I don't blame ESPN though. If you've got this guy who voluntarily wants to go on the air and embarrass himself, you give him an open mic and just watch the carnage. They do the same thing with Emmitt Smiff.
Mercury Morris…ESPN called. They consider your undefeated 17-0 Dolphins to be a mere #2 to the 1985 Chicago Bears team.
They point this out about your 1972 season…
“Consider, for example, that the Dolphins played one of the easiest schedules in modern NFL history — the opposition had a combined winning percentage under .400. Unlike the 1985 Bears, the Dolphins didn’t stroll through the playoffs. They beat the Steelers in the AFC title game by only four points, 21-17, and were underdogs going into the Super Bowl against the Redskins, who they defeated 14-7. Undefeated underdogs? That means you’re not beaten, but you are beatable. We salute the greatness of head coach Don Shula, QB Bob Griese, Larry Csonka, Mercury Morris, Jim Kiick, Garo Yepremian, et al. But the Bears would have beaten them in a head-to-head matchup.”
I’d put a case in for the 15-0 1948 Cleveland Browns for the most dominant performance in a season…
In closing, Mercury…I consider your Dolphins to be the #3 team of all time.
Have this scrote suit up for the '07 Dolphins. Problem solved.
Just to be fair, 1) the Dolphins need to go winless the rest of the season and 2) ESPN needs to hunt down the team members every year until somebody else does it. And by hunt down I mean for sport, with crossbows.
Mercury Morris…ESPN called. They consider your undefeated 17-0 Dolphins to be a mere #2 to the 1985 Chicago Bears team.
They point this out about your 1972 season…
"Consider, for example, that the Dolphins played one of the easiest schedules in modern NFL history — the opposition had a combined winning percentage under .400. Unlike the 1985 Bears, the Dolphins didn't stroll through the playoffs. They beat the Steelers in the AFC title game by only four points, 21-17, and were underdogs going into the Super Bowl against the Redskins, who they defeated 14-7. Undefeated underdogs? That means you're not beaten, but you are beatable. We salute the greatness of head coach Don Shula, QB Bob Griese, Larry Csonka, Mercury Morris, Jim Kiick, Garo Yepremian, et al. But the Bears would have beaten them in a head-to-head matchup."
I'd put a case in for the 15-0 1948 Cleveland Browns for the most dominant performance in a season…
In closing, Mercury…I consider your Dolphins to be the #3 team of all time.
Fuck the Patriots and the Dolphins. Back in '94 my Pop Warner team went undefeated. 7-0 bitches!
Has anyone contacted Dr. Dre or Jay-Z about getting this man a recording contract?