Falcons head coach Bobby Petrino resigned abruptly yesterday to return to the college ranks and coach Arkansas. Former Arkansas coach Houston Nutt had departed for Ole Miss to take the place of the fired Ed Orgeron, who in my mind is the new front-runner for the Falcons job. It would just be nice and tidy that way.
Petrino enjoyed remarkable success during his four years at Louisville before jumping ship and taking the reins of the Falcons, signing a five-year, $24M contract. His main task as coach was to be the first man to make Michael Vick run a consistent, productive offense, but… well, we all know how that ended.
At $2.85M a year, his new Arkansas contract will be a substantial pay cut; however, he'll be saved the public embarrassment of losing most of his games in a pretty awful NFL division and insisting that Warrick Dunn deserves more carries than Jerious Norwood. I'm obviously not a highly-coveted football coach, but I'd probably give more touches to the guy averaging six yards a carry than the guy averaging two. Jeriously.
EDSBS: Petrino’s a great hire, a very good coach, and a terrible bet for the long run because he is to coaching slots what Ted Turner is to monogamy. In a perfect world, he really would coach several teams at once via video-conferencing and XBox style playcalling with a stingray-shaped controller.
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I'm obviously not a highly-coveted football coach, but I'd probably give more touches to the guy averaging six yards a carry than the guy averaging two.
Think about it – a guy averaging 6 yards a carry could get any number of yards on a given play – anywhere from 0-12 yards a clip. Whereas the guy averaging 2 yards a carry is getting between 0-4 yards a carry. The NFL is about consistency. You can't have a wild man like Norwood out there when you don't know what he's going to do from play to play.
Yeah, what's a Jerious Norwood? Some kind of erectile dysfunction?
btw, I'm pretty sure Jerious Norwood is not related the former Bills kicker Scott Norwood. Can anyone confirm this ? 289 ?
So is that what you call fucking quiting a job you hate? Well I guess I resigned from Taco Bell to accept the Shift Leader position here at Jack in the Box.
His main task as coach was to be the first man to make Michael Vick run a consistent, productive offense, but… well, we all know how that ended.
I'm drawing a blank. Vick is the kicker writing a book, right?
Wait…you guys are missing the bigger picture…There's a guy named Houston Nutt AND he not in the adult entertainment industry..
Jerious Norwood is a type of highly coveted South American lumber cut from the depths of the Amazon.
This Warrick Dunn thing though. Some sort of battle axe maybe?
Falcons' #1 pick Jamaal Anderson is also looking at returning to Arkansas. Not only is the level of play in the SEC superior to the NFC South, the players' pay is usually better.
Everybody in the office looked at me like I was crazy when I just started doing The Dirty Bird.
Both Petrino and Saban in the SEC….I expect them to coach each team in the conference by 2020…they'll probably start by switching teams at half time of next year's Alabama – Arkansas game.
"Never use a stingray-shaped controller."–Steve Irwin
i never knew there was such a thing as a fair weather coach
I for one applaud Mr. Petrino. I would bail on that shitty organization as well. DeAngelo Hall complaining about him quitting on the team? To that I say, F you in the A, Mr. Hall because you and your team quit a long time ago. Coaching spoiled, egotistical brats like yourself is better at the college level cause at least you can distract yourself with eye candy. Have you seen the women at a Falcon's game? They look like something even Rob Schnieder wouldn't fuck.
Let me belatedly add the following bon mot: fuck this guy. Waah, my $5M/year job hasn't worked out perfectly the first year.
His main task as coach was to be the first man to make Michael Vick run a consistent, productive offense
Isn't that about as realistic as asking someone to make Rosie O'Donnell thin, charming, and attractive?
Say whatever you want about our teams sucking(they do), but to say the women in Atlanta are Ugly is the stupidest thing I've ever read. Scoreboard
I'm sure with a moniker like bobafett, you've been hammering that hot Atlanta ass for a long time!
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