POWER RANKINGS: HOLIDAY SPECIAL
12.21.07
Is there anything worse in the sports media than completely senseless weekly power rankings? Well, yes: lazy bloggers turning in half days around the holidays. And also people who actually have some kind of emotional investment in power rankings.
1. Scarlett Johansson. Bright, warm colors like yellow can cheer you up during the winter months.
2. The Prelude. As you can tell from my mad science skills, I was a chemistry major for three weeks.
3. Sexual Deviance. Big week for sex crimes, what with the Man U Christmas party, pedophile unicyclist, and this story that I never got around to. But nothing, of course, tops the sexual assault of UNC football players.
4. Cheeseburgers. That's my new word for people running an illegal gambling ring.
5. Ohio State fans. Sigh. (Check out EDSBS's take)
6. Lauren Thompson. As an ASU cheerleader, she's already on the fast-track to a career in porn and my ever-blasting love. Listen, I'm not looking for a Nobel Prize winner, I just want a gal who can tuck her legs behind her head.
7. Shaun White. Another Olympic hero lets down America with his life of crime and chasing girls with pool cues.
8. Real fireplaces. Oh, you've got one of those gas-powered ones you just turn on with a switch? That's cool. COUGH*homo
9. Ruin Romo. Filed under the category "Masks I would have sex with," RuinRomo is all about driving a certain franchise QB's performance down the toilet. Thanks to all the folks who sent the link.
10. Christmas vacation. WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I have never played Guitar Hero, but I can recognize that this is not easy. (Details here)
![[avatar]](http://p.uproxxcdn.com/global/images/default-avatar.jpg){kind=avatar}
![[image]](http://cdn.wl.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2011/12/David-West-180x180.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.wl.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2011/11/Browns-180x180.jpg)
I wonder if his friends watch him beat off too?
Thanks for keeping me sane by actually working this week; I just clicked refresh on this page for 8 hours everyday this week. Get f'd w/ the family this Christmas!
You know what would be even more impressive? Playing an actual guitar.
You know what would be really impressive? If people like Big Nabs didn't trot out the same fucking "play a real instrument" response to anything related to Guitar Hero.
But I'm sure you're an expert guitar player, right, Big Nabs?
He's got good fingers. He could sell hot dogs. You've got to have good fingers to sell hot dogs.
I would like to see Conrad's Rusty Trombone Hero skills.
Gay Lyn Turley, a Mesa High PE teacher…
Jesus, sometimes they really DO write themselves, don't they?
1,000,000 points! You…. Are….. FAGS!!!!
Nope, not a guitar player. But I can still mock you and your friends for being pumped on Guitar Hero.
Bright, warm colors like yellow can cheer you up during the winter months.
Just like staring at a pert set of cans like Ms. Johansson has.
I play the actual guitar, and I have to admit that Guitar Hero looks like fun. That said, this dude should be embarrassed about being that good at it. Didn't see any chicks in that room.
What the fuck…is what like a circle jerk when they all decided to hold hands.
i play guitar too, and have played guitar hero, and it's pretty good for a drunken night, but HHWK assertion is correct. It didn't get me laid. Playing real guitar has. In the right
drunkennesssetting, thefattestright girl, it makes me looklike a sandwichsexy.I play the bass. Not even the cool rock'n'roll bass. The string bass, as in orchestra, classical music string bass. And yes, orchestra girls (an untapped resource) are easy to pull. It's like fishing with dynamite.
Bright, warm colors, like yellow cans, cheer you up during the winter months.
Fixed -even though I know the boss hates Fixed comments
Fifteenth!
Awwww, I wanted to give her a pearl necklace.
That cheerleader is way too gummy, and also, she looks like she has too many teeth. Nice and white and all, but when she smiles she reminds of what the Jokers victims looked like after a hit of smile gas.