Last night the NFL Network aired yet another game I really would have preferred to have on one of 12 screens at a sports bar on Sunday. I didn't catch a second of it, but the Texans walloped the Broncos 31-13 to make it back to .500 and keep their slim hopes for the playoffs alive. More importantly, they looked good doing it. Love the red unis, Houston.
I'd like to take this opportunity to apologize to Texans' management. Like most other people with eyes who uses those eyes to occasionally watch college football, I thought Houston was insane to pass on Reggie Bush to draft Mario Williams #1 overall in 2006. Well, right now I'm in therapy to recover from the experience of having Bush on my fantasy team, while Williams notched 3.5 sacks last night to raise his season total to 13. Houston Texans: you are smart, I am dumb. I will reserve my future judgments about your team to Sage Rosenfels's goofy face.
Oh yeah, and Bryant Gumbel missed the game with a "sore throat." Awful Announcing's live blog has plenty of love for stand-in Tom Hammond, and maybe if we band together and bitch about Gumbel loudy enough we can get him fired like we did with Theismann. But I wouldn't count on it. The NFL doesn't give a shit about its fans. It's like the prettiest girl in school that way. "Once she sees I'll do anything for her, she's bound to respect me!"
![[avatar]](http://p.uproxxcdn.com/photo/226/thumb)
![[image]](http://cdn.wl.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/Dolphins-Aircraft-Carrier-180x180.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.wl.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/alex-karras-george-plimpton-180x180.png)
![[image]](http://cdn.wl.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/JR-Smith-Louis-CK-180x180.gif)
![[image]](http://cdn.wl.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/04/Edelman-and-Cooper-with-Bauman-180x180.jpg)
Sometimes, it's almost as if the guys who get paid to do things like run a team and evaluate talent actually know how to do their jobs better then us anonymous jerk offs who can criticize them from our computers while stroking it to tentacle porn.
Collinsworth still blows
I too have Bush on my fantasy team and the worst part about it I drafted him with my number one pick last year in my keeper league.
also, Gumbel's sore throat was due to sucking too much dick.
Hey, Shannie, you might want to tell your O-line to BLOCK THAT BIG FUCKER WEARING THE NUMBER 90!!!
Just a suggestion for next time, weaselwanker.
I'm another Reggie Bush survivor. Thank you, Purple Jesus. (And more recently Ryan Grant.)
luckily we don't play for cash in my keeper league, just bragging rights.
In my money league I have been thanking Ernest Graham and Ryan Grant a lot the last 5 weeks.
Couldn't you just replace one Gumbel with the other. All those kinds of people look alike to me…announcers that is
HAD. HAD reggie bush in your fantasy leagues folks. He's out like Lance Bass now.
How does Mike Shanahan continue to go almost entirely without criticism when every single game his team gets called for at least one 12 men on the field call? This guy has been a coach in this league for 20 years, and outside of the two years when he had arguably the best QB, RB, and offensive line, he hasn't done shit.
/bad coaching rant
Beaten by his protégé AND his son – Shanahan, the home is calling.
I don't know about you guys, but I thought that was a great game last night!
"sore throat."
I think Dick Vermeil was balls deep in Gumble's vagina neck, again.
I would like to nominate Sage Rosenfels for "Jew Athlete of the Year". It is Hanukkah, you know.
At least we get asked to play in front of a national audience, Punch.
We don't usually play well, but we get asked nonetheless.
Our shames are hidden or only seen in Alaska or Hawaii.
I'm looking forward to listening to sports radio this afternoon. How much of an uproar will losing to the Texans cause? Will Bowlen let Shanny pull double duty, or force him to just coach the team?
Find out next time on "The Donkey Show"!
Gumbel is hands down the worst announcer ever–way worse than Joe Buck. What I wouldn't give to get a high-caliber shell through the base of his skull. And yes, I did just officially put a hit on him.
Mario should change his name to Wario.
I traded for Reggie Bush when Deuce went down. Shoot me in the face.
@ Phony Gwynn:
It was on the NFL network…far from a national audience
Hey, Hamza Abdullah. How about wrapping up once in a while?
It's like the prettiest girl in school that way. "Once she sees I'll do anything for her, she's bound to respect me!"
God I wish this had made sense to me back then…
LCPL – Outstanding. Stop the rotatiion now!
Wait until Monday, Tim…I was off WL for 3 months, not the rest of the internets!
Bush is overrated and Vince Young is looking more like Michael Vick everyday, so i'd say the Texans seem to know what they are doing after all.
As for the Broncos, i'm not picking their sorry ass to win the rest of this year. Everytime i think they are going to get it together they shit their pants.
I was at the game. No need for NFL-N.
Watching Shanahan's team get steamrolled by Mario? Priceless.