Italy's Cagliari soccer club doesn't appear to have the best team chemistry, unless you count ordering mob attacks on your teammates as good chemistry.  The incident in question involves on-loan star Pasquale Foggia, teammate Davide Marchini, and no one with a masculine name.  Marchini's lawyer claims Foggia ordered a mobster to rough up his client:

"The two exchanged insults [at practice], with Foggia saying, 'Let's see what happens on Monday.' The following Monday… Marchini was at Caffè Agorà in Cagliari with striker Robert Acquafresca. Foggia came in and asked to sit at their table. Marchini refused, so Foggia left. But in came a [man] with a thick Neapolitan accent, who sat down next to Marchini.

"He asked why Marchini had fought with Foggia in training. Marchini got up to leave, but then the man punched him in the nose. Marchini tried to escape, only to be chased by his assailant, who was at this time wielding a chair. Marchini escaped, and the man threw the chair at a parked car as Foggia and Acquafresca stood outside."

It's a good thing Italy has something as badass as the mob to make up for all the gigantic greasy pussies in that country.  If it weren't for Cosa Nostra, I'd go on vacation in Italy and end up conquering it on a whim.  It kills me that all those sultry hot chicks and pasta are going to waste on "men" who have to hire someone to punch for them.

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