I know that title is an oxymoron, but is was devised by a sober Irishman:

I could have done that when I was 9, except I had 3 newspaper routes to service. In fact, I still have those routes. Oh, I'm a loser, am I? Well, that kid will probably still be playing hockey when he's my age. -KD

{Free Sunday delivery for Going Five Hole.}

Thanks for stopping by this weekend, tune in tomorrow for the Chief's Monday Suck-Off and other goodness. Now I have to go rob Peter to pay Paul – use my winnings from one bookie to pay off another bookie. Coincidentally, their names are Peter and Paul, and they're both married to women named Marie.