Usually I try to keep the comedic level of this site at about the middle-school level.  That's old enough to still be kinda smart, but immature enough to laugh at crotch shots and to call everything gay.  Just for one post, though, I'd like to dial it back to 2nd grade.  Witness this story from New Jersey:

Former NFL player Todd Burger was one of five men arrested over the weekend in a bust of an alleged Internet gambling operation.

Burger, who played guard for the Chicago Bears and the New York Jets, allegedly collected gambling debts for suspect Anthony "Cheese" Pecoraro.

The entire McDonald's community gathered at a press conference this morning, where a vigilant Mayor McCheese confirmed that the illegal ring was run out of Burger's carhole.