fire Parcells from his analyst role:
ESPN and ESPN.com were running with a story saying that Parcells was about to sign a deal with the Atlanta Falcons. This afternoon we learned that Parcells and the Falcons won't be joining forces. It seems as though Parcells was using the Falcons — and ESPN — to get leverage with the team he really wants to go to, the Miami Dolphins.
I suppose that's possible, but it's also true that Chris Mortensen, who was responsible for "breaking" the Atlanta non-story, is at least mildly retarded. He gets his proper due over at KSK this morning:
ESPN's Chris Mortensen has learned that ESPN.com's Len Pasquarelli reports that ESPN’s Bill Parcells is now in Miami, preparing to sign offer sheet to become VP of Dolphins. Parcells will sign the offer, unless he does not.
From there, it progresses naturally on to discussion of cloning velociraptors, which obviously isn't true. That's more the sort of thing that Peter Angelos would do (if it didn't cost so much.)