BARF
12.17.07
“I’m proud I still have a really good sex life with David. He is very much in proportion. He does have a huge one, though. He does. You can see it in the advert. It is all his. It is like a tractor exhaust pipe!”
Welp, I'm off to lunch. Think I'll have a big, juicy kielbasa. Maybe sink my teeth into a banana for my daily dose of potassium. For dessert: crying in the shower as I scrub myself with steel wool.
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What the fuck man? Holmgren shits the bed so we have to suffer?
That said, that's a mighty impressive, uh, er… tattoo he's got there. Yeah, tattoo.
I'm not sure what makes me more sick, that picture or the fact that those underwear probably cost $75.
What the hell? That's all that I can…seriously, what the hell? First 600 pictures of Secretariat at the beach, now this…now I can question my sexuality and feel inadequate about the size of my member simultaneously.
For what it's worth, she wins "wife of the year" award. Any woman who will go to the press about how well hung you are can't be all bad.
WWSM – remember she is an android. They can be programmed to say whatever. That being said, I still hit it.
Ummm, the only thing that is apparent from the ad is that Beckham either stuffs his underwear with a tennis ball, or he has a huge nut.
I mean, not that I was looking….um, Tits! Football!
Clarification necessary – I'd hit Posh…not Becks.
I'm speechless. Seriously, I just cut my own throat.
Thank you.
Well, I'll never look at a tractor exhaust pipe the same way, ever again.
Some people can handle such things as seeing their dead grandmother crawling up their leg with a knife in her teeth. But no one should be asked to deal with this.
All I have to say is…..Dude!?!?
For what it's worth, she wins "wife of the year" award. Any woman who will go to the press about how well hung you are can't be all bad.
Conversely, if they had a divorce, her tune would dramatically change in an instant.
A tractor exhaust pipe is an interesting description. It's brings confusion because we could be talking about a front loader or an old riding lawn mower. It makes me wonder what kind of sex toys she uses to think about tractors. Plowing I suppose could bring up tractors. But mostly, it has made me think way too much about Beckham's unit. I hope this doesn't make jiu-jitsu class awkward tonight.
And 85…….
Well. There is no tattoo in that picture.
i'm going to win again this week in fantasy football playoffs. as the 8th seed, this is incredible stuff
/realize we're supposed to stay on topic, but seriously, c'mon.
It is nice of you to throw your female reader(s) a bone.
See what I did there….
check out the right arm swany.
Jesus Christ!! Can we go onto another topic?! Spice Girls all oiled up and naked…Amanda Beard grazing in a pasture…Naked….Jenna Jameson from the 90's….Naked…
I'll cut off my own dick and eat it if that bitch has ever even seen a fucking tractor. It's probably cockney slang for Vespa or some shit.
@merk
I'm down 111-63 right now, and he's still got purple jesus points coming. I think I'm sufficiently fucked.
@bp
sweet.. someone took the bait so we dont have to talk about beck's goods and services.
yeah.. well i'm only up 10 pts, but have minny d against orton tonight. the other guy has Tavaris Jackson, so i'm kinda hoping it's a big D game for the vikes.
are you a romo owner? or a moss owner?
Dammit all. Thanks for pointing that out. I actually avoided looking directly into the bulge until I was forced to glance at said right arm. Now to scrub my eyes with industrial strength handsoap.
I don't think Jenna Jameson was ever not-naked in the 90s. Except for her very first scene; Randy West had to undress her.
@ Lance Martini
Agreed.
And for real this is not necessary, he must have expressed some serious inadequacy issues, so she blew it up for him to feel better. Or he just is insanely huge, either way she needs to fuck me.
I think "Becks" makes a few of the boys walk funny after plowing his hoagie up the ole' mud trail…
Posh is an android beard built to sell his posters to women.
RIGHT ON!! Thank you, Lance!!
merk, bp, I need a td and at least 65 receiving yards from Desmond Clark tonight to win my semi-final. I'm not going to hold my breath.
Well, take an hour or so off the net to do some actual work, come back to my
favoritea web site that I read, and I get an eyeful of David Beckham andSkeltorAmanda Beard. Cool.BigNabs:Jenna was sooo damn hot back than. Elektra Blue is another that went down hill after the 90's. They look like the Joker off of the Batman movie.
I've got Peyton and ended up with Willie Parker and Clinton Portis from the draft. Damn auto-draft. And Plexico Burress is my #1 receiver. I had to scratch and claw my way into the playoffs.
Yeah UU, your chances don't look good.
FINALLY…a chance to check out With Leather today. Yep, a well-earned break. I hope Matt rewards me with something GOD WHAT THE FUCK HOW COULD YOU DO THIS YOU FUCKSTICK NO NO NO NO NO I HATE YOU SPAWN OF SATAN!!!!!
On a completely unrelated note, my woman introduces me to everyone as Mr. Two Inch.
almost an hour later and 289 still hasn't come up with something a lil more "sports blog friendly"?
the fembot set up the picture perfectly. Tractor exhaust for the package… etc… i'm not gonna tell you how to do your job. To be honest i dont even know how to do mine.
I"ll echo Smello's sentiment:
Thank you, thank you.
It almost makes up for all the nekkid chicks on here.
@Punch –
Spice Girls shows is what the whole hep world would be doing if the Nazis had won the war.
Wow, he's so hot. I love the Beck couple the most. And you know, Victoria is so HOT on [www.femmate.com]. Some of my friends told me many celebs left some of their photos on the lesbian dating site [FemMate.com]. Recently we have Victoria, Mel… Are they lesbians? No, I don’t think so. Many celebrities have such photos, because they are acting in L. And lesbians are being understood. Homosexual is not anyone's fault.