The bad news is that this video is about actual water sports, not the sexy kind you're familiar with. The good news is that a whole bunch of people get hurt.
After watching this, I've decided that the greatest water sports wipeouts begin on water, but end on land. And I'm a connoisseur of thrill-seekers wrecking their bodies for the greater good of Internet humor. It's one of my passions, like hating the Spurs or disappointing my parents.
(Thanks to commenter emeritus Weed Against Speed)
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Christ, I'm all for people getting hurt and all, but if the day is really that slow, mix in some more sexy women…preferably ones that are easy to find nude pics of on the internet.
A nice spin on an old theme (People eating it). Did that last dude go straight into the propeller? Because that's just awesome.
On a side note, the music reminded me: remember back in 1999 when every hipster in New York with a receding hairline didn't say "fuck it, I'll just look like Moby"?
//sweet memories of an innocent time.
Call Bobby, tell him we need to hide some more of them
/Ted Kennedy
"It's one of my passions, like hating the Spurs or disappointing my parents."
We have a lot in common. My passions also include long walks on the beach along with killing cats and frogs in creative ways.
Boy, that Moby music is just TIMELESS.
So was this stolen from AFV? Cause the smarmy prick that hosts that show is only second banana to Joe Buck.
On a side note: is Moby an alien? I think he is under 4 feet tall.
Pardon my french, but Swanychitown can take his comments and stick 'em where the sun don't shine.
@Swany: He's a vegan. It's pretty much the same thing.
Eat a dick Buck, that is unless you are already full on them, in that case, make sure you don't swim for thirty minutes, and when you get hungry again…. Eat a dick.
@ Swany: The man you speak of is Tom Bergeron from AFV. And Joe Buck makes him look like Gus Johnson. OH MY GOD, WERE GOING TO OVERTIME! YOU GOTTA LOVE COLLEGE BASKETBALL! AAAH!!
I wish Gus Johnson (the real one) announced my day to day life.
"HHY thinks he's getting laid tonight. Mrs. HHY does not look happy…..OHHHHHHH! OHHHHHHH! GET THAT WEAK STUFF OUT OF HERE, SHE SAYS!!!!!"
Or something more clever.
I sort of wish Guy Johnson narrated my daily play by play life. Swany wakes up and looks at the clock, notices he is going to be late for work and rushes to rub one out! Scores! Oooooohhhh man!
I guess that is the exact same thing, I was trying to relate to Peter Griffin having a theme song, you know, except with Gus.
Shit.
*Punches self in groin.
Quit wasting my time with these misleading headlines.
-R. Kelly
@swanychitown
Be careful!
I'd rather have Jim Ross narrate my pathetic existence.
HE'S EATING TACO BELL AGAIN! THINK OF YOUR BATHROOM, YOU BASTARD. THINK OF THE CARNAGE!!!
Hey Swany- Why don't you take a long walk off a short pier. Boo-yah!
And You, Palazzo-Why don't you take the potty humor back to kindergarden, where it belongs. Big time Boo-yah!
Herbert Morrison would be a more appropriate announcer for the type of life i lead… except the crying would get old.
Is a "kindergarden" a place where only "nice" plants are grown?
My narrator? Spanish soccer announcer guy.
Él bebe la cerveza. Él intenta coger a su esposa. Él tira. GOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLL!!!
Marv Albert can narrate my sex life:
"Yes! And it counts!"
Actually, I'd have any of the Albert (well, Al, Steve, or Marv) brothers follow me around with a microphone, and not simply because we share the same last name. That motherfucker Kenny can stay home.
Ladies and Gentlemen, something very strange has happened in this basketball game between Space Clowns and Atomic Monsters.
Good for you weed against speed. You noticed and corrected a spelling error. Your parents would be so proud. Next time they walk in on you de-seeding your weed, make sure to tell them that you spell better than 6 time Emmy winner Joe Buck. Ba-Ba-Ba-Boo-Yah!
Is it coincidence that the real and fake Joe Bucks are both douchebags?
@punch! Good call on marv albert narrations. That would be spectacular, but i hear he has a biting tendency in the bedroom! careful as well!
Put a lid on it swanychitown.
My grass doesn't have seeds in it like that shwag you smoke, Joe Buck.
The only thing Buck is smoking is cock. Smarmy bastard.
Why don't the two of you move to Vermont together, get married and open a head-shop. Swany can be in charge of hacky sacks and weed-face can be in charge of the hookas. Just remember fellas, it's a gateway drug.
Buck, remember that time I sold you a bag of pencil shavings and banana peels? Did you trip off the banana? I couldn't believe you were dumb enough to pay for that shit. Live and learn eh? So when did you learn you were gay?
Buck bannination in three…two…
Hey Swany-Remember that time your dad begged me for my autograph? You don't? Well hi did, and it was pathetic.
Boo-yah!
This just in, Joe Buck has no genetailia! Back to the booth with Joe Buck and Joe Morgan…
Morgan: " Buck get up! I said get up, fast! We're back on."
Buck: " Mmm mmm m mmmmmm."
Morgan: " What?!"
Buck: " I said I'm almost finished."