The U.S. Marine Corps's birthday is tomorrow. I'm celebrating it today, and if you ask me, it's pretty nice of me to share it with all you dirty drug-using long-haired hippie Communist fags. In order to understand the solemn holiness of this remarkable day, you'd have to pack Easter, Ramadan, and Rosh Hashanah into a single ceremony that honors generation upon generation of Fucking Badasses who gave their hearts and souls to living Spartan lives solely so they could kick ass in the name of America.
In honor of said holiday, I'm taking the morning off. In the meantime, you can enjoy this recruiting video, which shows some footage of my old tank platoon in Iraq (OORAH!), and also features some motivational words and soulful expressions from my old company commander (from :50 to :35). He just finished a full year in Iraq, which was either his third or fourth tour. It's hard to keep track any more.
Happy birthday Marines, and Semper Fidelis. I'll be back with sports news early in the afternoon, East Coast time.
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I'll have you know I am NOT a Communist!
You pretty much pegged me otherwise.
Sure, I'm a dirty, drug-using Communist fag, but I am not long-haired. Unless my pubes count.
Maybe one day your corps. will be just as good as my 82nd boys. Airborne All the Way! Knees to the breeze!
Semper Fi, you lazy bastard.
Not working this morning? Typical lazy Marine. What a disgrace.
I always thank our Veterans, especially on Veterans Day. A dirty drug-using long-haired hippie Communist fag wouldn't.
Sorry, Doogie: soldiers get a ribbon for making it through basic training. That's right: the Army decorates its soldiers for doing what's expected of them.
Advantage: Marines
OOH RAHH!!. Happy birthday Marines
Who's got the drugs?
Semper Fi to all the Marines. The smallest part of the Department of the Navy…. Hooray!
You know what would make this birthday celebration better AND provide a nice segue from KD’s morning post?
Pictures of hot men in uniform…
With guns.
OORAH indeed!
Matt: The toughest thing you guys got going on is that place called, Camp Lajune. The armpit of the world! Happy B-day though, I will send a cupcake to a buddy of mine in that hell hole.
So I have a question for Matt or any other ex-military. I have friends who are both Army Rangers, and Marines. They always talk shit about each other. Is it a "wink-wink, I went to Ohio State and you went to Michigan, but we're old friends and can have a beer" type of hate? Or is it a "You're black and I'm from Boston" type of hate? Whenever we hang out we talk about tits and sports.
If it's pronounced "core", why the fuck is there a "p" in it? And why is there an "R" sound in "Colonel"?
This has always bugged me.
@Smello:Send him screen shots of the volleyball scene in Top Gun…."Playing with those boys!"
[savethesoldiers.com]
you’re very welcome Smello.
Harrier jets are so fucking core.
Fighting within our Military's ranks…freakin sweet.
@phony gwynn: And what's the deal with peanuts on an airplane?? Are we supposed to eat those things?
Where do they keep the dragon? And where is that mountain you free-climb? Does the dragon live at the top of the mountain?
What's the difference in badass factor between the Marines and SAS?
Someone should write a book about the Marines in Iraq. I'm dying to know what it's like over there.
Fuck the Harrier, the F35 is going to be king.
Smello,
google up Lisa Bickels
Ooo-rah.
I'd link some movies that the 8th infantry took over there, but I got in trouble for the bad assness of 2 girls 1 cup… how you gonna handle fire fights and roadkill? OOOH Rah
Where was the Marines' most famous soldier, Jarhead Jake Gylenhall, in that video???
@Enrico, more famous than John Cena ? After all, he is The Marine.
MilFlaWa!
seriously, though, did any of you see the PBS (yeah, I know) documentary, "The Marines"?
I couldn't believe it was on PBS – it was that good.
[www.pbs.org]
Any aircraft that can take off vertically from a standstill is ok in my book.
Yes, Merk, that’s exactly what I had in mind.
Rougher69 – you’re just mean.
I think we'll all know a little bit more when Jason Elam writes Matt's biography.
How about most bad-ass marine on film? I say either Jack Ryan, or the dad from American Beauty.
that clip got me so motivated, I just tore my shirt off and punched my secretary in the stomach.
Semper fi
"…you dirty drug-using long-haired hippie Communist fags."
I fought the commies, I am only dirty when I have Hollywood starlets over for "tea" (which also takes care of the "fag" bit), and I haven't used drugs since I left Uncle Sam's Yacht Club. But I can understand the confusion, since I know the reason we call you guys "jarheads".
Happy Birthday anyway, ya freakin' animal.
"If you want to join a team, boy I'll tell ya if you're good enough, quit fuckin' around and get your ass down to your Marine recruiter right now and tell that son of a bitch that you want to be part of the team, and goddamn it, do it right now.
"How's that? Does that have the kind of bite you're looking for?"
So Matt wasn't finished with The Prelude and had to take some time this morning to write it eh?
….all you dirty drug-using long-haired hippie Communist fags…..
Who said that? Who the fuck said that? Who's the slimy little communist shit, twinkle-toed cocksucker down here who just signed his own death warrant? Nobody, huh? The fairy fucking godmother said it. Out-fucking-standing. I will PT you all until you fucking die. I'll PT you until your assholes are sucking buttermilk.
btw, Audie Murphy was turned down by the USMC as being too small.
OORAH!! Semper Fi, Devildog.
You had best un-fuck yourself or I will unscrew your head and shit down your NECK!
@WAS: And why do we drive on a parkway and park on a driveway?????
keep going pauly. FMJ quotes are like pillow talk to me. *grrr*
UES007, the F35-B is a STOVL aircraft. It can do vertical takeoffs and landings.
Just found that out myslef. F35 looks to be the cat's pajamas.
Matt, you couldn't have posted some chick pics to get us through to the afternoon? Damnit!
I like planes.
Happy early Birthday Marines. Yut.
To answer the question about giving each other shit. Army guys actually respect Marines at the end of the day and wish we were so brainwashed with espirit de corps. Marines respect Army guys in that we serve our country; in the same way they respect a janitor who works at the White House. But still, there is a little of the "wink-wink" "nudge-nudge" when we are just by ourselves. Because ultimately, we're much better citizens than the rest of you.
@WCF: http://www.google.com – learn it – use it
So you agree then, that Boston hates black people? Great.
“Because ultimately, we’re much better citizens than the rest of you.”
Joe Buck? Wanna step in here? C’mon you smug P.O.S. you know you can’t pass that up.
Since so many veterans gave of themselves, I get Monday off.
Now if only we can get everyone out of the clusterfuck Middle East, and back home playing shirtless volleyball where they belong.
/respectful (for once) civilian
@WCF – I've never seen a firetruck that needed to be shaved…
Merk is not unlike many of my stalker-type fans. He thinks about me entirely too much. The first step in conflict resolution is to find common ground. Merk & I have one thing in common:we are both obsessed with me. Boo-yah,eh?
Most posts ever? Come on, assholes; we can't be too far from the mark. Let's make it happen.
Ok vinceneilyoung, you're on.
Merk is queer. But not in the gay way. Just, queer.
Army and the Marines don't swap spit with each other, unlike our Navy and Airforce…We only swap wives….
Ironic that a guy that posts posing as Joe Buck would alude to me being a stalker. How’s that toenail and hair collection coming random-sports-blog-commentor-who-has-a-lil-too-much-time-invested-in-becoming-joe-buck?
i really like the Canadian touch you’re throwing in too, shows you’ve been listening.
I am just a big fan of schticks, you know? Like pretending to be someone else, like a pirate, or Joe Buck, and sticking with it, no matter how stupid it is.
Safari Joe > LAZYTOWN >Joe Buck. Safari Joe!
It worked well for Batman
Marines are good ciizens
Where has Batman gone
oh this’ll be good
This "Pauly" schtick is getting real old. I mean, you show up to work smelling like a roach, and half drunk from being entirely drunk the night before.
No this will be very good merk
So I just saw an ad for "erotic sexy personals" at the top of this page. It's now gone. I want it back.
all i’m getting is stuff for the marine corps. It’s like somehow the computer is aware of what i’m reading about and putting that into an advertisment. Is that possible? What are you reading about 289?
Matt can write a book about Bergwood, the Special Ops place kicker, here to save the world against an evil sports announcer hell-bent on destroying the world.
The Marines. It doesn't say gay erotic sexy personals so it can't be that.
It's the only time I've ever seen an ad up there.
There were one too many gay jokes one time recently on this blog, and I kept getting an ad for a gay gym. Not cool, man, not cool.
Rockgroin: I bet it's the cleanest, most fabulous gym around!
Make love, not war.
Still, there's nothing hotter than a beautiful woman in uniform with a gun, though.
Let me know when the Corps begins it's all-hot-chicks policy. Then we can replace "don't ask, don't tell" with "When the barracks are a-rockin', don't come a-knockin'."
I keep seeing ads for Playboy. The intelligent ad software ought to know by now that I need to see penetration.
@Punch: was it the Bally's on 23rd and 6th?
amen VNY… and at least one person bound and being burned or cut
vinceneilyoung, dont you want to be the first to see kim kardashian naked?
I just want to let everyone know that ive been a long time viewer of WL and always loved evryones jokes, but then i saw merk come on and this guy is everything but funny, actually sometimes kills the rythem of laughter throughout the posts. I want to take over the true merk name.
Merk-Merk 08
there is a little of the "wink-wink" "nudge-nudge" when we are just by ourselves.
Glad we're back to talking about beating off.
did Merk-Merk get booted? Because even though he was being an asshole, and I like the original Merk better, it was still pretty damn funny.
Better than when that other douche stole enrico's avatar and called him a homo for a few days
Merk's biggest fear is that Merk-Merk will be better received in the comments section, rendering Merk obsolete.
I spoke too soon, he was slyly just switching names back to Joe Buck… cute
WSW11 – what? how could they be the same person?
I've never seen Merk and Merk-Merk in the same room at the same time. Weird.
I've never seen Merk's Merkin and Merk-Merk's Merkin together.
I don't know what gym it was… I averted my eyes the moment I saw some dude's rippling abs.
I don't go in for those back door shenanigans.
Wooo! Happy Birthday, zipperhead!
/Animal Mother
I have a theory that Matt is Joe Buck. He claims to hate the real Buck with the fire of a thousand suns; what better way to comment on the people he loathes the most (his readers) by making up a moniker and avatar of the very person he depises, thus allowing him to release his inner douchebag?
I'm on to you,
BuckUfford.And I think that Finkel is Einhorn.
it’s a flawed theory HHY.
I’da been gone a long time ago. I’m unfunny and Canadian, you see. The-commentor-who-wishes-to-be-known-as-joe-buck can’t stand us Canucks.
/something unfunny disrupting the rythm of laughter
@devang
How exactly can you distinguish the 2, because I think I may have seen both together?
Merk-Merk is the best Merk Merker of them all.
Lets have a Merk off
Finkel is Einhorn, Einhorn is Finkel, Finkel is Einhorn, Einhorn is a MAN!!!!!
Ahh geez Merk. It was a joke. I'm sure you're a good citizen in your own special little way.
can’t you just type all in caps, call me a fag and we’ll be done with this? isn’t that usually the way this operates?
@ihtgmm – nah… not really. but it’s still all good. my comment was more to call Buck outta his hole
Funny…you clowns think I'm Merk-Merk. Merk-Merk is really just another example of how powerful The Joe Buck Machine is. Merk-Merk was probably created by another loyal Buckfan who also likes to poke fun at Merk. Probably that hack Harold Reynolds looking for me and the team at FOXSPORTS to throw him a bone. Just let Merk-Merk & Merk battle it out. What ,are you slackers busy?
Merk - i dont see where youre gonig with the caps fag thing. I assume youre talknig about that pirate fiasco yesterday, but i didnt get a chance to catch it. All i know is that youre not funny at all and its kindof annoying.
Atleast be an on purpose not funny person like joe buck. His not funniness makes him funny, if that makes sense.
Einhorn is Merk, Merk is Einhorn, Einhorn is a douche, douche is a merk…ya i dont know it made sense in my head more
Someone tell Angel Eyes that they are using his avatar over at barstool sports (honestly, this little fued is the best pub they've ever gotten), most likely without his written consent.
Those pirates made me feel alive again.
That Barstool site is decent i guess, kindof annoying how they worship themselves with thie sports teams actually being all good for once
Jesus. I can't leave this place without a babysitter for two hours without people throwing shit at each other. Two things:
1. NEITHER Merk nor Merk-Merk is funny. If you two don't stop the slap fight, I'll toss you both out.
2. Commenter Joe Buck is f'n brilliant, except when he says Boo-ya.
…he started it…
dammit buck… you sunuvabitch. guess you win. Ufford likes you more.
/defeated and sullen
really though? not at all funny? cuz i really think hard about some of them. no.. that’s a lie. shucks.
ya merk, youre a moron, so start being funny, or just leave and give me the merk title
I love a cat fight…sexy
When I was looking to join up, the Marines told me that they teach how to stop a tank using your head. Then the Army pointed out that they prefer to use anti-tank weapons.
Made for an easy choice.
Marine,
Bullet,
Head.