Is there anything worse in the sports media than completely senseless weekly power rankings?  Yes: Al Michaels and John Madden in HD.  And also people who actually have some kind of emotional investment in power rankings.

1. The Marine Corps.  Suck it, Johansson!  You'll get some respect when you start PT'ing that soft body of yours!

2. Father of the Year!  I thought Guy Lafleur was up there with Andy Reid, but nobody comes close to this Vols fan.

3. Dolphins.  They kick ass!  Um, as long we're not talking about the NFL team. 

4. Loving your pet.  "Hey man, that tattoo is the cat's ass!  No seriously.  It's disgusting." 

5. Chris Henry.  Back in the lineup!  And back in the police lineup, too!

6. BLOOD! BLOOD! BLOOD!  It's what makes the grass grow green, in case you were unaware.

7. 2 Dinar.  A friendly reminder that if you're into veterans' opinions on foreign policy, the war, and politics — and I'm sure most of you are since you're reading a sports gossip blog — 2 Dinar is is still pissing excellence.

8. Jason Elam, author.  He'll hit that clutch field goal in crunch time… AND he can make deadline!

9. Kevin Costner's band.  If you missed their performance in Tampa, be sure to catch them at the St. Clair Mall, conveniently located off of I-64 in southern Illinois. 

10. Nails and shrapnel.  Part of any Marine's well-rounded breakfast.

This week's video?  C'mon, as if it would have been anything else…