Redskins running back Clinton Portis, who once thrilled Internet sports dorks by holding his weekly meetings with the press in costume and character — among the favorites were Coach Janky Spanky and Dolemite Jenkins — is back the way we love him: as someone else. From D.C. Sports Bog:
This is Choo-Choo. Something about him teaching Portis how to dance, and [Santana] Moss how to dance, and [Antwaan] Randle El how to dance. "I taught these boys how to dance," was the gist. A lot of it was unintelligible, and involved jerky dance-like demonstrations and third person referrals to "Clinton Portis," but hey, we'll take it. More on this breaking news later.
Oversize sunglasses? Kabuki-like wig? Flamenco shirt? Goatee? Dance moves??? My God! He's tapped directly into my erotic fantasies!!! That, or a Japanese Olsen twin with a goatee. Which is pretty much the same thing.
UPDATE: The quotes from the press gathering are everything you'd hoped they would be.
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Your erotic fantasies need some work.
A good fantasy would be if the Skins actually did something once in a while during the season…Like win? Mix some Jell-o and skin cheerleaders and we could be really talking a little bit of, sumtin, sumtin…
This is one of the many reasons the Redskins are my favorite NFC team… that and the name they use is the most blatantly racist slur in the league. And FIGHT for old D.C.!
Choo Freeman is unimpressed.
Did they ever find SouthEast Jerome's killer?
Would the Olson twins have twin goatees? So that's four goatees total.
Me and 6 of my buddies in college had collectively created a character called "choo-choo" as well. However we were never all in the same room at the same time.
Duality in your personality, is a sign of bisexuality.
I think Choo-Choo is jealous of Emmitt.
‘I Choo-Choo Choose you’
Yes!!! As a Skins fan, it's a great sign that his multiple personalities are back!!! Southeast Jerome was murdered by Proposition Joe…everyone knows that.
This "Choo-Choo" is a purloiner!
/Andre 3000
No CHICKS I WOULD DO tag?
"Choo-Choo ain't taught me nothing, I don't know what Choo-Choo talking about," Randle El said, Chop-Chopping the factual underpinnings off this whole enterprise. "He's on the train, I don't know what he's talking about."
If Randle El is actually referring to the Crazy Train, then I kind of love him.
"They say he's smooooth on his feet. I'm trying to teach him….I want to teach him 'The Superman.' "
Something tells me Portis hasnt had to 'Superman' a ho in a long, long time. (Look it up).
@HHY – I explained Supermanning a ho to my wife, and she wasn't on board with the idea. Bitches, man.
@WDYA
Just spitballing here but, why don't you give 'Supersoak that ho' a chance with the wife and see how that makes out?
@Pauly – Thanks! You just made Thursday night at my house a magical wonderland! Great use of d-bag term "spitballing", by the way. We'll confab on that later.
@WDYA: Just do it without telling her…..whats she gonna do, divorce you?
@HHY – Yes, once the GHB wears off. Although, settlement-wise, what's half of nothing?
If I walked out of my house dressed like that I wouldn't make it to the end of the block.
@ Yamabushi
"check it out Lis, you can pinpoint the exact second
when the thousands of fans decide to end their lives due to bad play calling, small ass receievers and a coach stuck in the pre salary cap erahis heart explodes."