As noted earlier, the top-ranked, undefeated Ohio State Buckeyes were defeated at home this weekend by unranked Illinois. I didn't watch the game, and it's not like I have some kind of undying love for the Illini (although my sister is an alumna, so that's something). But what I do have in spades is HATE, HATE, HATE for the harelipped, semiliterate fans of that insult to academia located in Columbus.
Boo hoo hoo, Buckeyes. At least take heart that this loss will spare you the embarrassment of getting blown out in another national title game. Plus you can continue to be the only people who actually put the word "The" in front of your school's name. So you have that to hold on to, assuming your palsied claws and non-opposable thumbs are up to the task.
UPDATE: More fun here.
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Ohio=Michigan's wrist
Jamal Lewis was at the game?
In all reality, Illinois should have been ranked before this game happend. But since they weren't its a more harmonious sting to the eyes and asses of assheaded O-H-I-O fans everywhere!
Fun fact. The "Big Three" as the douches announcing this game put it, for Illinois, Benn, Williams, and Mendenhall; Freshman, Sophmore and Junior. I think the only key Senior is J Lehman, and we all know how much love he deserves for that mullet and photo.
Wisco over Michigan, Green Bay owns the Vikings, the Suckeyes (zing!) lose to the Fighting Zookers. Godammit, what a great weekend!
oh boy….couches will burn over this matt, couches will burn
I've been waiting for this post since I watched the final seconds of that game tick down. Thank you for not disappointing.
also? "harelipped, semiliterate fans of that insult to academia located in Columbus"
excellent.
That comparison is very insulting. To people with harelips.
That's some quality vitriol right there.
It would have gotten expensive if they had to spell out something like COLORADO.
Fun, but expensive.
Yeesh. Such hate for my favorite team. You boys need to relax. Have a drink.
Anyways….in reality, we were never expected to be even close to #1…so this year has been an unexpected surprise. Sure, I'm disappointed we lost to a scrappy Illinois team that clearly outplayed us. But hey, shit happens…..just ask Oregon and LSU….they just lost to crappy teams earlier in their season. Lucky bastards.
Does that mean I'm implying we're better? Nah, of course not. It just means they lost to crappy teams too. Plain and simple.
I'll be happy just beating the State up north and good Lord willing, whooping on some overrated SEC butt in the Rose Bowl.
With that being said, flame away, suckas.
Michigan = Ohio's bitch.
As a student @ OSU, I beg you all to not judge us by the idiots that are (extremely unfortunately), our national representatives; sweaty, uneducated, drunken douches. I promise you there are decent people here, sports fans who couldn't give two shits about college football.
We just have to be quiet about it, or someone may set our cars on fire.
Man, that looks like one of those book-it cards I used to get in like 3rd grade that entitled me to one free personal pan pizza at pizza hut. Wow, that's fucked up on so many levels I don't even know where to begin.
Knowing OSU fans, thats' crushed up Adarol. Them bitches better just be glad they aren't playing the Hoosiers this year.
Will you people give the OSU fans some credit already? They apparently already snorted "The" and "State" — that some serious blow, my friends.
Wow, I can't believe I actually registered here. I've read all the OSU-hate that goes on here, and just let it be. But this game (and the responses to it) have prompted me to add my two cents.
First, as a UIUC alumn, I think that the "Fighting Illini" are deserving of as much ridicule than a team whose mascot is a tree nut. I mean, if your school has so much of an inferiority complex that it has to distinguish itself from other University of Illinois campuses by noting the "Urbana-Champaign" location (note that it's not "Champaign-Urbana", lest the acronym be "UICU," which might fool people into thinking it's something like "University of Illinois, Chicago University" or somesuch), you shouldn't be throwing stones.
Second, as a current OSU Ph.D. student, I know that the vaunted "The" is a result of another school trying to make money off of Ohio State's logo/name, and so in order to copyright the name (yes, so people could make money off the school's name), Ohio State's lawyers (bless those lawyers and their soulless lives) inserted the "The." Apart from the occasional brainless dork on MNF and the ubiquitous fans who think that the "The" means anything, most people with brains don't use the "The."
Third–back to the UIUC mascot thing–you know why they're the "Fighting" Illini? Because without the "Fighting," they'd simply be the "Illinois Illini," which would make them the coolest team of orange-and-blue-clad stutterers in the nation.
Fourth, as I remind people who complain to me regarding the mouth-breathers we graduate students end up teaching in OSU courses, OSU is a monstrously huge school with virtually open admissions. That means that any jerkoff who got a high school diploma in Ohio can end up at OSU. So we end up with more than our share of idiots wearing OSU colors and hanging breathlessly on the trademarked "The."
Fifth (and finally), I didn't give a rat's ass who won the game. I didn't go to it, because as an undergrad at UIUC, I routinely saw the Illini get their asses kicked, and didn't want to be there to see it again. So I sold my tickets… on the season, I made about a thousand bucks selling my OSU tickets. So as the clock ran down and UIUC won, I thought "wow, some sucker paid me $400 to watch OSU lose."
So there's at least one smart person at OSU.
Oh, and a P.S.: I–and other graduate teaching associates I know–have had several OSU football players in classes I've taught. By and large, they've been good students, and have surprised me quite a bit with their (good) attitudes toward school.
Actually we came to call ourselves "the" ohio state university because ohio university insisted that Ohio State needed to differentiate the name more.
That being said - Go Bucks, Screw Blue, Fear the sweater vest.
Thems a lotta words. You've confirmed what I've thought all along: Fuck Ohio State.
Lothar, your comment was three times longer than Matt's post. You're dealing with ham-fisted mongoloids here; keep it short and sweet, and preferably referring to either a dead hooker or pedophelia.
So this guy's getting a ban right? Right? Ya with me? Take that pHd and shove it loser. Your hairlip must have prevented you from being short and concise.
Actually, I was being long-winded for a reason. Thanks for reinforcing my faith in humanity, cretins!
Now, back to the humor… I've heard that if your best insult is "Fuck Team X" you get laid a lot. Is that true? Does the Vaseline make it easier to take?
swany: nothing is short about me. I've heard that you, on the other hand, get plenty of kudos from the local mustache-dusters for your "brevity" and shortness.
Stay classy, DeadlyDeadlyHawk.
if I wanted to read Moby Dick I would go the library…
Who said that was my best insult? And Team X rocks.
Thanks Lothar, but could please re-submit your Pro-Ohio State diatribe in [url=http://withleather.com/post.phtml?pk=3952] Rap video format? [\url]
Wow… Hey Swany, if you're going to be so original as to use an insult that has JUST been used by Matt in the original post, maybe you should copy and paste it next time so you don't misspell "harelip" while attempting to make someone ELSE look stupid. Irony is my favorite. Oh, and it's PhD, not pHd. Dipshit.
Holy crap. Rastas, are you trying to bring up the 'Franklin County' rap song?
It was a JOKE, idiots. Sheesh.
If you want to make fun of us Buckeye fans, at least make it legitimate….like the library masturbating guy. THAT was a good one.
Now excuse me while I go trim my mustache.
Guys named Eduardo always have sweet ass mustaches.
All too true hardaway… All too true.
Just Fuck OSU. I don't mean the Cowboys either, those orange unis are filthy.
And actually, I used Hairlip because Matt used it. Nubs. take it elsewhere.
I-L-L I-N-I !!!
Well played, sir… well played. You've sure put us Buckeyes in our place.
SEC overrated? Wow. Is your memory that short Eduardo?
The bucks put themselves in their place. By living up to expectations; to lose to a worse team.
You're doing the Lord's work you know, using your forum to advance one of the most important messages of our era: well-considered, articulate, unbridled hatred for the foulest element of the nation, OSU football fans. Keep up the good work.
Expectations were that the Bucks would never crack the top 5 this year. I'm surprised we even have a chance to go to a BCS bowl this year. We've proven nothing other than that this is the rebuilding year that anyone with half a brain expected this season.
Good point dsylxeic rice, but last year was not a rebuilding year and you still got worked when you played a good team outside of the Little 11.
PHd in backpeddaling? Nice. I don't care if I spelled it wrong cause it's the only time I'll ever have to use it.
Oh, just a quick note on being one of the nation's last undefeated teams from a major conference, you STILL aren't expected to lose to the team that went 1-8 in your conference the year before, AT HOME, WHEN THE NATIONAL TITLE GAME IS ON UR DOORSTEP!
Wait, were you trying to bash the Moniker Fighting Illini in that 4000 word essay you had up there? Buckeye.
So our one bowl game loss in our last five means that we can't win outside the big ten? I'm not trying to get into the debate about which conference is better; that's a battle I can't win. But that's not our fault. When we put Washington on the schedule, we expected a decent team. How could we know they'd suck 3 or 4 years down the line? We've got strong out of conference opponents for the next 4 or 5 years. I don't think you can judge any team based on what it did last year or what it might do next year.
Maybe your PHD will be more useful to you at The Big Lead. I hear they are all doctors. And Fags.
Swany, I don't even know who the hell you're talking to. If you think that Illinois this year is the same as the team that went 1-8 last year, then you either have not watched them play or know nothing about football. Again, you can not judge a team by its performance the year before. That's why college football is exciting.
you buckeye fans do realize you walked right into Matts trap right? you did nothing to change his hypothesis on his little social experiment
Please show me how I have exhibited myself as a "harelipped, semiliterate [fan] of that insult to academia located in Columbus." If anything, my posts have increased the average literacy of the comments on this particular comment wall. I'm moving on. I've made my point.
Try maybe looking over your whiny, little bitch ass posts crying all the way. Illinois is up and coming no doubt, but many of the players have been there through the losing, and many more and coming to feel the winning. Juice was the QB last year, J Lehman was there, Mendenhall and his brother were there. Benn, who really did nothing in the game wasn't. Keep bitching, a ban is only a moments notice away. The Big Lead is waiting, they will coddle you. Don't fret. Cup some balls in your free time, it helps the healing process, Red Ass.
dsylxeic….just the fact that you guys can't resist being insufferable for one minute and laugh at yourselves
Most intelligent thing an OSU fan has ever contributed.
As a Columbus resident, and happiest guy in the city on Saturday night after that sweet loss, FUCK YOU Buckeye fans.
Don't you fucking dare sit here and try to say that "we weren't supposed to be that good anyway". Fuck that. You already ordered your god damn flights and hotels for the BCS title and now you act like it doesn't matter. Well, you're a liar. It wouldn't matter for Kansas or Missoura fans. But not you. Not you, the woman beaters. One more time, go fuck yourselves. We Buckeye haters have earned this after listening to your shit all year so take it like a man.
kickinwing,
The answer is no, my memory is just fine.
In the bowl games last year where the Big Ten faced the SEC, the Big Ten's 1-2-3 teams went 2-1 against your 1-2-3 teams.
That not good enough? Let's look at recent trends….
Last 5 years of Bowl Results? Big Ten leads, 8-6.
Since the dawn of the BCS in '98….Big Ten leads 13-11.
But hey, if you guys want to ignore history and roll with the SEC superiority illusion…fine by me. I'll take the wins any day.
Steve. I'm done arguing my point. I've been reading this blog for well over 6 months and laughed at every OSU insult on here. I took offense to Swany's posts. Matt gets paid to write the jokes, and I enjoy them, even at my own expense.
Stay classy, Enrico.
Douche. I haven't seen you in the "six months" you've been reading. Just stay sitting down. Everyone in here has your number.
I've also been thinking about what Eduardo said and have come up with a response. Maybe people think they have been doing shitty in bowls cause OSU got slammed so hard by the "unrecognized" top conference last year in the BCS title game, and Michigan has layed a few eggs the last couple years. People only talk about Michigan and Ohio State when it comes to Big Ten football, last year was a lucky one with Wisconsin going 11-1, but until the Big Ten puts together a league championship game, its street cred will continue to fall.
Oh yea, and Thanks Enrico for the "woman beaters" reference. +1
Hey dipshit. Solid job exhibiting your superior knowledge. NCAA rules state that a league must contain at least 12 teams to hold a league championship game. I have been reading this blog for at LEAST six months, I just usually sit back and read rather than participate. I fear that if I contribute all the time, I might appear as attention whoring as… well… you.
Then maybe they should add a 12th team. Spend more time reading all the obscure rule books please. I need more worthless information. Red Ass
Add a 12th team? The only teams that would switch would be some other league's cast off, which would just increase the criticism of an already weak league. None of your arguments hold any water, and when that is pointed out, you resort to name calling. Yes, I call you names, but I also use rational arguments. Again, I'm done. Next post.
Just quit while you're behind. I think adding Notre Dame would be a nice addition, despite their horrible Charlie Weiss experiment. Not like it hasn't been mentioned before. You're just retarted and it IS hilarious how bent outta shape you've become in just a few short hours. Red Ass.
Great game by the Illini. Comparing last year's championship game to this past week's lost I still don't quite understand what magical force of nature is required for our linebackers to decipher a draw play. (Or even worse, a FAKE draw play)
That video was decent but certainly lacked the quality lyrics of the classic old negro spiritual:
[www.youtube.com]
Go Bucks!
you know you deserve a "THE" in front of your name when people think a 10-1 season is cause to make fun of your team.
face it, tressel and bucks are elite and will continue to be. pete carroll will learn this the next two seasons
Just take your loss. We've earned the right to shovel dirt on you guys. If you wouldn't be loud mouth bastard sons of Red Sox fans, this wouldn't happen. Humble pie tastes like shit, now eat the whole damn thing.
dyslexic, stay on the sideline, your shit is weak.
My favorite Ohio post is the one with the slender girls about to eat the horseshoe cake,
Fred Durst comes a close second.
I'm confused. Was this a Lazytown or a pirate invasion?
Actually, people make fun of Ohio State because they (mainly their fans) talk long and proud while beating generally inferior teams (I mean in relation to the rest of the country) and then get violated on national TV by the first decent team they play (see, last year). I can only assume they decided that plan wasn't all that great and decided to skip the New Year "Quinning" (i.e., rectal pounding) this year. Party poopers.
@Lothar
I'm currently a UIUC PhD student, and I think we met at a conference a couple months ago. You TA for Sanded Vaginology 102, right?
Dave,
Sadly, no; if you're a fan of sanding vaginas, I can't help you in your quest to find a fellow vagina-sander. If you're talking about sand in vaginas, you should realize that I was neither a) whining about OSU losing (OSU wins = more ticket revenue for me, that's all) nor b) railing against the portrayal of OSU fans as morons. I was making a point about how OSU, as an institution of higher learning, gets a bad rap and often times doesn't deserve it.
But then, I would imagine being a grad student at a school that celebrates racism would inculcate you into a culture of ignoring salient points, sarcasm and hyperbole, eh?
And for those who think this post doesn't have enough vulgarity: shit damn fuck cocksucker!