Maverick Mavericks owner Mark Cuban has taken the next step in providing the ultimate fan experience for die-hards who have cash to burn: a catalog of extravagant merchandise that crosses into troubling waters. Oh sure, I want a $90,000 Maverick-themed Mustang and a life-sized Dirk Nowitzki bobblehead as much as the next guy, but some of this looks curiously like Cuban is pimping out his players.
You want the ultimate 18 holes? You got it with a very nattily attired Jerry Stackhouse and you playing Dallas National Golf Club for the bargain price of $25,000. [...]
How about a three-night getaway with Devin Harris to the exclusive Ocean Club resort on Paradise Island in the Bahamas? You will fly there on the Mavericks' team jet and have dinner, cocktails and golf with the point guard. The experience is tabbed at $300,000, but only one is available, so hurry.
I'm not quite sure how this would be anyone's preferred way to spend that much money. I'd rather own a Lamborghini, import a shipment of uncut heroin, and get some new talent in my stable of sex slaves. But I guess it's good deal for a wealthy lady. If you can convince Devin to go without a condom, you've got a shot at recouping some of that $300K.
[FanHaus]
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Hmmm….sound perfect for someone with tons of discretionary money and a penchant for athletic male escorts. Mr. Cuban, Brady Quinn is holding on line 1.
What dude with 300K at his leisure would drop it to go to the Bahamas with some mediocre NBA player on a pseudo-date?
Is Merv Griffin still alive? No? Then Im stumped.
I already have the ultimate 18 holes.
-Hugh Hefner
Disease= Homo-Unerectus, a condition that causes your wang to be hugafied not aaaah, by uh man, but uh, by a woman.
Cure= $300,000
Leading Cause= Sex with Mark Cuban.
For me, the "ultimate 18 holes" would involve a Desert Eagle .50 cal, two extra magazines, and Mark Cuban bound and at close range. Sadly, I think he'd let me shoot him if it got him some free press.
How much does it cost to smoke a Cuban?
- Jeff Garcia
$25,000.00 for 18 holes of golf? You know how many Huffy Bikes that can get me?
/Robert Stewart, Scottish Bike molester
There hasn't been nearly enough comments about sex slaves today.
Who wouldn't want a weekend with Erik Dampier?
$25,000 for a round of golf? Do you know how many sex slave shackles and ball gags that would buy?
How much to give Dirk the Heimlich in the coming playoffs?
Devin will meet you at the airport and will say something classy like…. "Hey Baby can I buy you a Fish Sandwich?"
How much for a night with the Mavs dancers? Actually, let's make that several nights. That many burials will take some time.
Not sure why they call the Ocean Club "exclusive." It's a hotel, not a secret society–they only exclude people with no money. Same policy Kim Kardashian has–zing!
Surely, a With Leather version of this catalog is in the works.
Buried at the back of the catalog:
Blowjob from Roy Tarpley: $50.
How much does Cuban charge for a cut-party?
wwsm, congrats on the comment of the month
Roy does live for blow.
Cuban is the gayest man to ever work a Dairy Queen or an NBA locker room.
HHY:
The sad thing is that after Cuban takes his "management fee", Tarpley is clocking about $20 per cock. The NBA pension plan should really cover addicts.