Like everyone else, I'm taking the next two days off to gorge on food and brown liquor. Well, I guess the brown liquor isn't really a change from the status quo, but I'm taking Thursday and Friday off all the same. Kevin will be around Saturday and Sunday to get you through the weekend. Until then, enjoy Lions-Packers, Cowboys-Jets (ugh), and not watching Colts-Falcons.
Also, at this special time of year, I like to pause and reflect on Terence Malick's 2005 film The New World. Colin Farrell, age 29, got paid a handsome sum to hook up with Q'Orianka Kilcher (Pocahontas), who was 14 at the time. She later admitted that their on-screen heat was her first kiss, and filmmakers edited out several scenes to sidestep child pornography laws.
So at this and every Thanksgiving, take the time to think about what you're really thankful for. And if what you're really thankful for happens to be a really heavy object, pray that it falls on Colin Farrell. That guy's a fucking asshole.
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enjoy you lucky Americans.
Although my thanksgiving was over back in October I wish you all happy turkey stuffings.
Don't feel too bad for ol' Merk though. I'm gonna go ahead and call in sick for the next two days just so you Yanks don't get one up on me on the 'doin-shit-all-day-and-drinking-before-noon' scale
I'm thankful for dual captain seats that fold down into the floor of my Dodge Caravan. Fits all the kids or need be, a dead hooker in transport to a shallow grave, as easy as 1,2,3.
I always get Colin Farrell and Russell Crowe confused, which is probably a sign that my douche-meter is out of whack. Luckily, turkey, football, beer, beer and, um, beer always seem to calibrate it, so by the end of Tebow's Heisman-clinching performance against FSU I should have the proper order of Hollywood douchebags down pat.
P.S. Yes I'm drunk already. Why do you ask?
I'm thankful that the Colts – Falcons (re: not Chiefs) game will not be on air here in Atlanta.
Should i be in handcuffs for enjoying this photo ?
Manifest Destiny is what keeps the turkey moist.
Make a movie in the land settled by british religious zealots and you have to worry about seeing a young girls tits.
Do the same film in europe and theyre deciding if said girl should be naked the whole movie or should she be just half naked and receiving a cum shot?
We should only make Pauly Shore and Hannah Montana movies.
14? I'm thankful I never liked Colin Farrell.
what are you bent out of shape about, matt? it's not like colin got to make out with a 14 year-old boy.
Same to you and your's.
Hope you have a great holliday.
I am thankful that there are men and women in uniform willing to eat nasty #18 MREs, Turkey Breast w/Gravy & Potatoes, in lieu of a good turkey (or tofurkey if you wish) dinner.
There ain't enough tiny Tabasco bottles in the world for the crap that comes in those brown plastic bags.
I'm thankful we live in the country (some of us) that created Turducken. And for grandma's homemade Kahlua.
Nothing says Thanksgiving like buying up the large Garlic Summer Sausages on sale for a buck each, and then finding 30-packs of Pabst Blue Ribbon on sale for $10.99US.
In fact, it's so awesome, I'm starting early. <BURP> Oh, yeah!
And to stay on a sports-related topic: I sincerely give thanks to the team that beats the Patriots in the playoffs and ending their season at 16-1.
"by the end of Tebow's Heisman-clinching performance against FSU"
Sounds to me like you overloaded your own douchemeter.
Heath Ledger was in that movie?
hi who care about you
I am thankful. And I still take sometime online to meet my new friends on [femmate.com].
Welcome back from the woods Matt, glad to see you survived the cat hair and dial-up connection. Oh and Cowboys kick ass.
She was 14? I wonder how many old guys are going to hell for wanking it to her. AND SHE'S STILL NOT LEGAL.
The real Pocahontas was 12 when John Smith was "saved" by her.
So they were just trying to be authentic…?