11.13.07 AUBREY HUFF HEARTS BALTIMORE
Orioles infielder Aubrey Huff had himself a nice little interview with Bubba the Love Sponge on Sirius Satellite Radio in which he commendably called Baltimore a "horseshit town," estimated that he had slept with between two hundred and three hundred women, and talked about how he prefers masturbating to preparing for whatever opponent he might be facing.
Bubba: "Now Aubrey, do you jack off a lot on the road, like when you're not with your wife."
Huff: "It's all I do. It's all I do. You guys have no idea how much downtime there is in baseball. You wake up from a hangover about 1 o'clock."
Producer shouts: "In the afternoon?"
Huff: "Oh, yeah! Lemme tell you this. When you are hung over, how horny are you? I'm horny, when I'm hungover, I'm horny. So I'm just gonna beat off. And that's all I do."
As you can probably imagine, some PR people had heart attacks over this, and Huff backpedaled about his comments. And good thing, too. Morning radio is no place to discuss your lewd womanizing ways and frequent masturbation. Save that for the blogs, mister. And calling Baltimore a horseshit town is unnecessary and demeaning. To horseshit.
[FanHaus]
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There are 33 comments about:
AUBREY HUFF HEARTS BALTIMORE
The man's name is Aubrey. Of course he's a badass.
Ummm…shouldn't we vote this guy as mascot of WL?
To be fair, in the interview, he does say that he pays for all his hotel porn, and that's responsible . I mean, if you're gonna fire one off, you might as well not try to do so on the company dime, which is a practice I have
followed religiouslycompletely ignored for the past 10 years.Me and Aubrey Huff are very similar, aside from his being married, having slept with hundreds of women, being really good at sports and making large sums of money.
When you have morning wood, the only thing to do is chop it down.
All sports figures in Baltimore openly hate that city. We should just be thankful he jerks off instead of kills people, which seems to be the more popular choice amongst them.
"So I'm just gonna beat off. And that's all I do"
Kind of a hard statement to back off of. Sounds pretty convincing. I too am very similar to Aubrey Huff in that I am constantly jacking off when I'm on the road, like driving to White Hen for cigs for the after bloh puff, Driving to 7-11 for a summertime slurpee, or even just on a casual sunday drive on the way to church.
Imagine, a guy named Aubrey can't get anything but hand pussy. Makes me glad to be an American.
That quote from Aubrey is hall of fame role model shit right there!
The steam is a key addition to the photo.
aaaahahaha holy shit. I thought those were trees. Baltimore really must be a steaming pile of shit.
He was on my league-winning fantasy team for JUST these kinds of intangibles.
Hey Swany-Take the locker room talk back where it belongs you jackass.
Joe Buck, I swear to fucking God you better mind your own gay business before you get my kimbo slice motherfucker.
Swany, youre a pussy, Joe Buck owns you
He called the shit POOP!
//immature childish joke that still tickles me.
So I'm just gonna beat off. And that's all I do.
He's like Joe Montana in the SNL sketch. "I'm very glad to meet her."
WHO THE FUCK INVITED ALL THE N00BS From Lazy Town Over Here?
Baltimore is a horseshit town.
/Robert Irsay
Swany, I would rip off your head then defacate down your neck. Then, right after I finished up, I'd yell "Boo-yah!"
Robert Irsay needs to draft some players for the Bears this offseason before it's too late for ole Five-Four.
Matt? Please. Seriously. Can you kick this douche in the nuts or something.
I prepare myself by stroking my meat every day before I face my opponent, or lucky hooker that won't see the morning…It adds an extra five to six minutes of fucking if you blow one before hand…Really!!
Ichiro and Aubrey need to write a book comparing and contrasting the shittiness of Cleveland and Baltimore.
Aubrey Huff masturbating all the time > Paul Byrd’s struggles with masturbating.
…and they say chivalry is dead, doogie. Sir, you're an inspiration.
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