Why am I so excited about a regular season game? Is it because both the Colts and Patriots are undefeated and clearly the class of the NFL right now? Is it that I'm hoping for a game as thrilling as the '06 AFC Championship? Perhaps it's due to the fact that the team I root for has already lost twice to the Detroit Lions. Or it could be because of the "services rendered" wager I made with a comely dental hygienist who is a Colts fan. I'll let you decide, sexy readers, but the battle of unbeatens that will take place in Indianapolis today promises to be exciting. Or at least a reason to remain sedentary for 3+ hours on a Sunday afternoon.
Thanks to drunken jedi Tom for creating the image to the right. I suppose NFL quarterbacks are somewhat similar to the knights of the Galactic Republic. And Belichick is like the Emperor – I bet Darth Sidious had illegal cameras all over the Senate. How many times did I play out the events of my imagined version of Episode VII as a boy with my Star Wars dolls action figures? As I got older , most of the stories focussed on Han and Leia's wedding night. Don't look at me that way! Besides, in my imagination, Carrie Fisher has not aged since 1983 and is forever wearing her Mark Mangino Jabba sex-slave costume. -KD

So is Marvin Harrison Lando Calrissian?
GISELE BUNDCHEN OR NATALIE PORTMAN?
Um, Carrie Fisher?
Wes Welker as an EWOK
Who would be jar jar?? An annoying character who won't shut up…and who could ruin the entire thing by simply causing problems.
I nominate Mangini.
Belichick has to be Darth Vader without the personality
There was an ill-conceived scene involving Jabba the Hutt, Boba Fett and fondue that was left out of the final cut because it was — in all honesty — really, really, gay. However, it makes sense if you see John Madden as Jabba and Bret Favre as Boba Fett. With a cameo by Brady Quinn as the really gay cabana boy. (Did I mention the scene with Jabba and Boba took place at a tropical island getaway? Never had a chance at making the final cut, but almost made the Star Wars Christmas Special since no one was going to watch that crap anyway.)
Bill Parcells as Admiral Ackbar.
That kid Brady has a chance to be something special.
“Bout time we got some construda in dis mothafucka."
Laurence Maroney sure had the best Jar-Jar audition. I say we give him the part.
Andy Reid as Jabba The Hutt.