KEVIN GARNETT over Craig Sager — Finally, someone called that retard out for his terrible wardrobe.  KG is a hero  (Thanks to AA for the clip) 

Bucks over KNICKS — Oh please oh please oh please let Isiah keep his job.  I'd miss him terribly if he were gone

SLEEPING IN PILES OF CASH over Buying a $50K Treehouse — The Beckhams have Fuck You money.

Oklahoma over Kansas — Because why should anything be easy in college football this year? [Edit: That's right, I really don't care]

REDSKINS over Bills — Expect former Miami Hurricanes Santana Moss and Clinton Portis to honor Sean Taylor by not fumbling 8 times.

Enjoy the weekend, sexy people.  Be sure to check in with KD here when you're not out non-denominational holiday shopping. 

Is there anything worse in the sports media than completely senseless weekly power rankings?  Yes: anyone who claimed that Sean Taylor "had it coming."  And also people who actually have some kind of emotional investment in power rankings. 

1. Sean Taylor.  RIP #21.  For further reading, today's Prelude takes an angle that you probably haven't seen yet (and thanks to Steve DeBerg for Vendetta for the comment that inspired it).

2. Victoria's Secret Models.  With these girls in sports stories, I'm giving ScarJo the week off.  Check out Selita Ebanks in Foxborough, Marko Jaric in Adriana Lima, and Miranda Kerr (right) in my fantasies. Worthwhile super hi-res here.

3. Quidditch.  Let's take a road trip to Vassar.  Bring your blue collar rage, public school education, and (most importantly) an instrument with which to bludgeon hippie douchebag children's fantasy book enthusiasts.  Your fists will suffice in a pinch.

4. Surviving a roadside DUI check without getting arrested.  I've done it it three times, maybe I should give Tony LaRussa some lessons.

5. The Los Angeles Rams.  They rammed it all the time.  And they didn't stop coming until they put you on your back.  They sound like considerate lovers.

6. Pigeon racers.  They demand recognition!

7. Carl from ATHF.  His last name's too long for me to write down, but he proves that Eli Manning jokes always work.

8. Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader Barbie.  It would be a great doll if she weren't so fat. 

9. Dancing with the Stars pros.  I'd say Cheryl Burke > Kym Johnson > Julianne Hough, but if I had to settle for banging the 19-year-old blonde, well, I could live with that.

10. Bo Jackson.  Good to see him living a happy life, what with all the bow-hunting and large trucks and bear killing.  It's like he's trying to live Sly Stallone's filmography.

This week's random video: the day after Thanksgiving in Salt Lake City.  White people scare me.

I suppose this isn't sports per se, but I think we all have enough of a fetish with Japanese fetishes to justify sharing this video.  Besides, it's Friday, which I consider the very best day of the week for men to throw wax frosting on each other that freezes instantly, turning them into human statues.  You just can't pull that off on a Sunday.  God would be pissed. 

[GorillaMask] 

A high school baseball coach in New Jersey has been arrested for videotaping his players… ummm, "handling their bats."

Bartholomew McInerney, 41, who coaches the St. Rose High School baseball team in Belmar, has been charged with endangering the welfare of a child as police say he had at least one student fondle himself on video for his own personal viewing.

A second young student was also said to be victimized by McInerney, a trusted member of the Catholic school and Monmouth County community.

Dear Lord!  A trusted member of the Catholic community exploiting young boys!  Whoever heard of such a thing?!?  Also, Dear Lord, please replace the dudes in this story with chicks.  That would OWN.  Amen.

(Big ups to ladykiller SlickBomb for the tip.  No seriously, he murders women.) 

ESPN sideline reporter Jack Arute (try saying it "Jackaroo" — whee!) seems to be a little oblivious to terminology that entered the popular lexicon via Friends a decade ago.  John Walters writes, 

The most disturbing image [from Saturday's Notre Dame-Stanford game]? ESPN sideline reporter Jack Arute describing how Charlie Weis likes to deviate from his scripted plays at the 8-minute mark of the first quarter. Arute informed viewers that Weis' wife, Maura, describes her husband's ad-libbing as "going commando."

Thanks to 289 and his Photoshop skills, I won't be able to fall asleep for the next couple nights. So let me stress something here: CHARLIE WEIS DOES NOT ACTUALLY GO COMMANDO.  He has cast iron underwear that are never removed from his body.  They get cleaned when he walks through a car wash every day.

That's what I'm going to keep telling myself, anyway.  Gah.  Fucking 289.  That much FUPA should never see the light of day. 

[FanHaus]

Earlier this week I ignored a story about a brawl between two youth hockey teams, because it happened in Canadia so I was like whatever.

Police in Guelph, Ont., say criminal charges are possible after a brawl at a hockey game involving teams of eight-year-old players. Six players and two coaches were suspended after Friday’s brawl between the Duffield and Niagara Falls novice triple-A teams.

100% Injury Rate turned up the video above, and as you can see it's a real horror show of violence.  Canadian police are also looking into a pet store's possible dog fighting ring after seeing three Golden Retriever puppies chewing on each other.