10.29.07 WR FITZGERALD NAILS ENEMY CHEERLEADERS
Hooray for cheerleader sex news! Unfortunately, this is the unsexy kind of sex news, as the sex in question led to the production of a human fetus (Gross!). As was broken early this past weekend, Cardinals All-Pro wide receiver/cracker enthusiast Larry Fitzgerald has been hit with a paternity suit by a former Oakland Raiders cheerleader named Angela Nazario.
Nazario is seeking child support from Fitzgerald, which he says he'll provide, if he's determined to be the father. A source close to Nazario says he has asked her to "hide" out in a small Arizona town, and asked her to have an abortion. Fitzgerald also allegedly tried to bribe her with offers of houses and cars, and when she declined, he told her "I don't need this all over the news like Matt Leinart."
Indeed he doesn't need this all over the news. So let's keep it between us, okay? The only people that have to know are Larry, Angela, the lawyers, and the 50,000 of you who just read about it. And I know 50,000 sounds like a lot of people, but that's actually not even enough to fill University of Phoenix Stadium or Kim Kardashian's vagina, so it's kind of a secret. The kid will never have know his father wanted him aborted until the day he Googles his mom's name, so that's nice.
[Via AZ Sports Hub]
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There are 20 comments about:
WR FITZGERALD NAILS ENEMY CHEERLEADERS
The kid will never have know his father wanted him aborted until the day he Googles his mom's name, so that's nice.
In all fairness, the odds of a Raiders cheerleader's kid ever being able to read a Google page are pretty slim.
Nazario is seeking child support from Fitzgerald, which he says he'll provide, if he's determined to be the father.
Nice syntax. Fitzgerald'll only pony up if he really really wants to be the father.
I find it hard to believe Travis Henry didn't have anything to do with this.
Speaking of Kim Kardashian's meat curtains (extremely NSFW)
http://www.fadedyouthblog.com/13691/kim-kardashian-does-playboy/
He better not start sucking for my fantasy team. Oh, wait.
The Lions are looking to draft this fetus in the 2008 draft.
Another compelling argument in favor of Frottage. Is there a holiday I don't know about? A very frustrated and swollen holiday?
The caption on that picture should read "When frottage goes horribly wrong."
Listen to us, hating on a guy who likes to fuck cheerleaders/recommend abortions. For shame.
50,000? Really?
Goodbye everybody! It was nice knowin' ya!
Look, this is just ridiculous. 50,000 people could totally fill Kim K's Vagina.
Lord knows I've asked more than one former flame to hide out in a small Arizona town and have an abortion. If you think of Tombstone as the site of the Shootout at the OK Corral, you're obviously overlooking their state-of-the-art Planned Parenthood clinic.
Abortion ruins a wire coat hanger.
I hear Maury Povich has free crackers in the green room.
I think in this case abortion would have been smart. Remember, you can't spell abortion without "brain". (Also, "nob art".)
This is what happens when you have the premarital sex. Sex is bad.
Now, see Larry, what you should've done……..
/Rae Carruth
i remember the first time i googled my mom's name. I won't spare you the details, but she spent 6 months in the slammer and i was raised by rats and empty doritos bags. It's only by mere chance that i'm the functional member of [canadian] society that you all [50,000] know and love today. Anyone looking for a good time?
Why do I think Punch has something to do with that photo?
She looks like Tug McGraw.
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