Texas Christian wide receiver Walter Bryant was arrested last Wednesday for assaulting his wife. Head coach Gary Patterson found out about it that night, then promptly suspended him a mere six days later, after TCU traveled to Stanford, where they won 48-46. Oh, except by "suspended" I mean "still hadn't done anything."
Patterson had said earlier [yesterday] during his weekly press conference that Bryant's status on the team was unchanged and that he was eligible to play during [this] Thursday's game.
That's funny, because the athletic department spokesman said otherwise:
Junior wide receiver Walter Bryant, 21… has been suspended indefinitely by head football coach Gary Patterson until he can gather more information about Bryant's Oct. 10 arrest, said Mark Cohen, athletics media relations director.
Yes, it's a pretty tight ship they're running over at TCU. The good news is that Bryant's wife only suffered "visible injuries" after being knocked to the ground and slapped on her face, arm, and leg. All of this just adds evidence to my scientifically espoused theory, "Only dumbasses are married in college."
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Holy Swiss Cheese! it aren't nice to hit girls.
Everyone knows that a seat cushion full of cookies leaves no marks.
beating your your wife is not very christian-like and how did a guy named mark Cohen get a job at Texas Christian University ?
chuck longs brand of comedy seems to be going over my head…am I the only one?
Nothin like Mountain West Football!
She had it comin' to her…..she spilled paint in the garage.
tomorrow they throw the witch in the lake to see if she sinks or swims. Swimmers burn at the stake
Matt, this one-sided bull shit is irresponsible journalism, (because we all know you made this site for integrity) You have failed to tell us what this bitch did to deserve what she got, and whether or not she did infact learn her lesson.
/Davenport
She may have looked him directly in the eye. Or expressed an opinion. Either way, true Christians don't stand for such nonsense.
@WDYA… thanks for clearing that up for me
She was walking four paces behind him instead of the customary five.
Your not the only one Steve Deberg – Its either his comedic genius goes over our heads or he is the bastard son of Dane Cook and Carlos Mencia's Mom…Im leaning towards the ladder
I bet she was all like "blah, blah, blah, I dont want to be forced into sex or have to sleep in the garage anymore." LOL. Stupid women, when will they learn to just be the baby ovens god intended them to be and quit all that complainin'?
It goes without saying that next year, all of USC's players will be beating their women before the Stanford game.
@wsw11: Do you know how a Christian turns a dishwasher into a snowblower?
Give the bitch a shovel! And praise Jebus.
I have nothing funny, but GO UTES!!!
Sorry my freakish obsession with Utah football just slipped there.
By the Crags of Kilmanjaro! I was going to make racist, sexist, low-brow jokes here, but it looks like all the seats at *that* table are taken in a frenzied circle jerk of morons. I better go milk the cow, or pa will switch me!
What do you tell a TCU football player's wife with 2 black eyes?
What do 100 battered TCU football player's wives have in common?
I am neither racist nor sexist; however, I am a raging douche-ist.
.
Chuck Long's comments get my approval. They're a nice change of pace.
WWSM – I know the first, but what's the second answer??? Hurry, please, before I go home; my wife LOVES battered women jokes.
Mmmm…battered women….
I think Chuck Long deserves a Columbian necktie.
I guess the law has spoken, but Please note my protest
That's why he's The Chief and we're just ham fisted mongoloids. Then again, I guess it might actually be Chuck Long.
Have you ever fisted a mongoloid? I strongly recommend it, and they don't cry about it like TCU wives.
Whydoyouask:
THEY JUST… DON'T… LISTEN! (Punctuate each word with firm backhand right into left hand for maximum comedic effect.)
If women were smart enough to listen and adapt they wouldn't get hit so often.
Chuck Long Reminds me of Kenneth from 30 rock (the country boy always wearing the suit with pins here and there for those casual viewers) I actually find him palatable (Chuck Long) if i imagine the delivery is the same as Kenneth on the show.
and Matt… "only dumbasses are married in college"? I think not. Former Teenage Mothers and the DUMBASSES who didn't get off their asses and run are married in college. Close though.
I think we're all missing the real issue here. TCU went to Stanford and put up 48 points in a win.
USC scored 21 at home against Stanford.
Conclusion: TCU is twice as good as USC.
@WWSM: Thank you. Laughing stupidly while picturing the delivery. (In my imagination, you are a swarthy midget with a fivehead. About right?)
There's always making exceptions for the married students.
I think Chuck Long's brother got ahold of his computer.
whydoyouask:
Close enough. I'd elaborate, but I promised myself that if I ever found myself describing what I look like to a bunch of strangers online, I'd eat a bullet with no delay.
Also, my parole officer would be very angry.
Please don't elaborate; wasn't a creepy request for info, just a chance for me to finally use "swarthy midget with a fivehead" somewhere other than on Match.com
The side of the story that you haven't heard is that the wife got hit because the WR walked in on her ham-fisting a Mongoloid. There, that ties things up.
Point of order–the TCU-Stanford score was 38-36. And my reign as local football expert comes to an end . . . now.
To paraphrase Attell, i was gonna hit on this girl at the bar, but when i noticed her black eye I realized that she already had a boyfriend.
Excuse me but he was arrested, not convicted.
I can go to and claim the coach molested my german shepherd and who knows maybe get him arrested. Is he guilty? Well, it is TCU, so who knows.
By the time this goes to court and then to an appeal, he wont be eligible to play for free on his minor league team and then we wont care about him anymore.
In a gay way, college football is like being in Menudo.
Brett Myers doesn't see what the problem is here.
And, by the way….he can spell retard, thank you very much.
Hardaway, no matter the Stanford score, TCU is better than USC because they won 28-19 last time they played (1998 Sun Bowl).