I enjoy SportsCenter's highlights, but I've always been disappointed in its decided lack of poetry slams. So thank you, Stuart Scott, for raising sports commentary up to an artistic plane. This clip practically moved me to tears, so gorgeous was his imagery, so flow-y was his flow, so… adequate were his rhymes.
One thing's for certain: this should finally bring poetry slams into the national limelight they so richly deserve, instead of wallowing in the shadows while hacks like Taylor Mali do things like "perform" and "make points artfully." All you poets who think you're doing it right: all I have to say to you is "BOO-YA!"
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You can't see me, but I'm snapping my fingers. My this latte is tasty!
(quietly finishing pipe bomb and addressing fed ex label to Bristol, CT).
God. I didnt think it was possible for me to hate him more. Apparently it was possible.
He might as well have said, “Boom goes the dynamite….”
Due to his Heterochromias, I still can't decide what side of his face to look at while he's talking.
I blame his parents. Naming a black child "Stuart" is bound to result in the kind of schoolyard beat-downs required for one to become a self-indulgent cock-gobbler in adulthood.
Eye, eye,
Why do you betray me?
Slay me?
Why you so lazy?
Behind my glasses you hide.
To the left, you do slide.
Working eye, you are my pride.
Passionless
Icy
Lifeless
Low
Other side
Winter
When you embed YouTube videos, my computer won't play the audio. Now you can either fix that, or let me enjoy the fact that I can't hear this audio.
Two chocolate wafers with a rich creamy fillin? / You illin' / I drop lingo / like Booya and Bingo and pillow and what not / I do the robot / I do the boogaloo / my coffee, my skin / what do they mean to you / they're black / Joumana Kidd's a ho / But Stuart is no Oreo.
Booya! I say Hoora!
Hoora for the day that the world wide leader
no longer feels the need to spoon feed me this
Crap; that i happen to never enjoy, stewert scott whom i know not why they
employ; with that lazy ass eye he should rather say "ahoy!"
im just suprised in fact that
he didnt replace a leg with a wooden bat.
anything for a laugh? they ask scott in their way
but we all know that sportscenter is going down with a strong case of
the GAY. its an incureable disease
that we here homos at with leather apply with ease,
but anymore garbage like this and im garunteed to sneeze.
ombudsman shreiber where are you now?
when we need you the most, we are still led by this ([media.washingtonpost.com])
cow. in one last effort to be funny today, alls i can do is end this shit when i say
please espn give throw me a bone, so further poetry skills i do not try to HONE.
Fuck yea you loved it!
GUESS WHO READS POETRY BITCHES
I don't know who reads them, but i usually fuck poetry bitches.
@ TEXAS: That's too bad, because chick poets are annoying and unattractive.
C-I-L-L my Sportscenter anchor.
I was watching Sportscenter with my roommate, and when the announcer introduced Stuart Scott for a "Poetry Jam," we simultaneously said "What the fuck is this?" and put on the Price is Right. I'm happy to see we made a good decision.
@Matt… I don't know, there's something visceral about the toaster of a chick who hates men, smells like patchouli, and has a distain for razors… before you mollywop them, that is.
You have to assume that no producer at the four letter network has ever had the balls to tell him no.
its still better than white people doing poetry slam type shit…those guys are the worst
@Matt: They're not too bad actually as long as you duct tape their mouth shut. It makes oral sex a bit of a chore but you get used to it.
@ Matt: Yes, you are correct. But, they usually have no family that will miss them.
It could have been worse — ESPN's other idea was "Yoga Meditation with Stephen A. Smith."
What a typical, self satisfied, self important…UNC grad.
I'm glad you touched upon this. I definitely saw this live, but was way to messed up to understand what was going on.
To maybe misquote the boxing champ from the files of Police Squad In color:
Roses are red, Violets are blue, i'm gonna break your face.
There's a pretty good chance that if you're watching ESPN, you've never read a poem in your life. Well done, Stu. Can't they just make everyone happy and replace Berman with Ron Jeremy?
Stuart Scott is to poetry what Janet Reno is to boners.