A New York City man who plays for the semi-pro football Empire State Titans remains in jail after security guards allegedly found him having sex with the corpse of a 92-year-old woman. Yikes. Like, at least have sex with one of the young, sexy corpses. Am I right?
Anthony Merino, who works as a lab technician at Holy Name Hospital in Teaneck, N.J., was arrested Sunday after police responded to a call from a security guard at the hospital. The guard reported witnessing the lab technician sexually desecrating the woman's dead body, according to police.
Oh, and what's this we've found? It's Anthony's MySpace page! His interests:
Watching Movies, weight training, playing football, making mix dance/club mixes, going out to the hottest clubs in NYC, and last but not least working hard always cause I know in the end it will all pay off. The harder you work the harder you can party.
Sounds to me like he's innocent. Necrophilia's nowhere on that list. Well, unless you consider having sex with dead bodies "partying." And I don't. That's more of a quiet Tuesday evening for me.
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Did the corpse end up looking like an over-loved hunk of swiss cheese?
"This is just being responsible" – Travis Henry
@ Matt… nice "chicks I would do" tag… you always know how to keep it classy
If he was a pro he could always get out of it, but sorry dude, you're fucked. (pun intended)
what's with the "chicks i would do" tag? especially after noting that the young sexy corpse is a better choice. necrophiliacs these days have no consistency.
Well it is hard work once you consider the rigor mortis setting in.
And just how are we supposed to make jokes about fucking a corpse?
Is there any safer sex than sex with a corpse ? happy halloween !
Who wants to photoshop the "X"s over the playboy bunny symbols for his new MySpace background?
Well now, this is a fresh of breath air!
@DDH
Make a joke about not moving around too much during sex?
Hey, at least he wasn't having sex with the corpse of a dead guy, that would be weird.
@Grizz
Or maybe compare it to watching Notre Dame football?
…sexually desecrating the woman's dead body…
"Desecrate" means to violate in an unholy manner. She was a nun??? Double hot!!!
From the looks of this dude…I'd say he was looking for an alternative to spending money on roofies.
The really weird part was that he had her handcuffed to the casket.
When reached for comment in Heaven, the woman shouted, "SHIT! I haven't had anything that good in
253550 years!"Maybe he's the one with the time-cock?
From the hotties on his page to stiffies at the lab.
"…woman's dead body"
I prefer the term frigid, dead seams so final.
Thank God for "Raul: Soulful Commandoe" coming to his rescue. He'll figure this all out.
What's the worst thing about having sex with a corpse?
Telling your parents that you're ga… uh… that you got caught having sex with a corpse?
He was arrested for banging Terri Hatcher?
Yeah, but in his defense, she was asking for it. You should of seen what she was wearing.
+1 million on the 'Chicks I Would Do' tag.
Still not as reprehensible as what that clown Moss did to those families in Wisconsin.
Something tells me the Bengals should take a chance on this guy.
He is resorting to this? I figured the checks from Grosse Point Blanke and Room 1408could at least still afford him some live hookers.
I think I'll give him the benefit of the doubt. It just said he desecrated her body. He might not have fucked her. Maybe he just enjoyed a little aged tuna taco.
Does it count the same if you are boning a stripper or working girl cause they are already dead inside? How bout if they are about to be dead in the trunk of your buick lasaber? They have to be dead already? That's pretty fucked up; I sent hate mail.
+1 to readykilowatt
@big nabs – don't see the resemblance.
His myspace playboy bunnies will now be replaced with Donnie Darko bunny masks.
He fucks…..dead people……
+1 to readykilowatt
+1 to almost everyone on this thread. I'm dying* from laughter.
*This does not mean I want to be fucked by Anthony Merino.
@swany – Excellent choice of car. The LeSaber (French for "The Saber") is both classy and roomy with a trunk big enough to transport even the portliest dead streetwalker to the nearest riverbed.
wtf is all i have to say, wtf, no pirateness or anything, just wtf
*The fact that we both misspelled LeSabre notwithstanding.*
The harder the chicks, the harder he parties.
When you put Fast & the Furious 1&2 and Tokyo Drift as your favorite movies, that's a dead give away that you are a necrophiliac.
Has anyone checked Goulet's corpse for Merino spunk?
It's her fault, she didn't blink twice.
@ WDYA
You leave Goulet out of this, and I'll leave this out of Goulet.
/Anthony Merino
@HHY: Nice Carlin reference. +1
This story was on Opie and Anthony yesterday and they had some hilarious things to say about it. I'd repeat 'em, but then it looks like I don't have anything funny to say myself and I'm using their humor to still look funny.
That's….not what I'm doing.
@WDYA – "A corpse doesn't really get violated until Anthony Merino gets his hands on it."
/Goulet'd [Goo-laid]
Watching Movies, thats normal
weight training, okay, keeping in shape, nothing wrong there
playing football, perfectly acceptable
making mix dance/club mixes AHHHHH!!! RUN! RUN FOR LIVES!!!
OOH Baby hold that position…hold it…hold it…don't move.
I think I just came up with an idea for a beverage marketed towards singers. And all it took was some dude in the city to fuck a corpse. I wonder if this is the same way Gatorade was invented…
Actually, Pauly and Gonzo, no need to worry about Goulet. At 73, he was far too young for Merino. He's a necrophiliac, not some sick pedophile.
@alumnigonzo
Goo-laid smile?
So what's the conventional wisdom: after you fuck a dead chick, how long do you have to snuggle before you can put your pants on and go home? 'cause I'm a busy dude.
Q: How do you know if a 92 year old is dead?
A: See if Anthony Merino will have sex with it.
You dead dawg.
Wait…..having sex with dead bodies is ILLEGAL?
@WWSM.
aaaahahahahahahaha.
"honey don't be like that. I have a very important meeting first thing in the morning. fine ill stay. fine ill go. fine. five more minutes, ill call you tomorrow."
Getting arrested for necrophilia and publicly humiliated is one thing, but now the old bitch won't stop calling him.
first of all Holy name hospital? really? thats the best name they could come up with?
and his myspace quote says it all. he was just trying to find out what *was* on the inside of ole Beatrice
If there was a With Leather Hall of Fame or O-Ring of Honor, I would have to nominate this fella. It's stories like this that keep me coming back.
Other nominees: Jerk-off/massaging track coach, Laurence "Kool-Aid" Maroney, that Michigan D-Lineman with the "fuck lion", and Joe Paterno.
Even the Evil Pirate guy is speechless. Damn you Anthony Merino… Damn you to heck.
Hey, if he can hit the open receiver and not throw three interceptions into the end zone per game, I hope the Bears sign him.
I don't think it's too far a drive from Soldier Field to the Cook County Morgue. If he's any good, the Chicago P.D. will give him a motorcade.
Wow. Where do I start?
See you in hell.
So . . . does this guy have to register as a sex offender from now on? The thought of him having to go house to house and explain to people in his neighborhood that he had sex with the corpse of a 92 year old woman is almost to hilarious for me to even process.
Jesus Christ Bloof +Eleventy!!1!
Those were all gold, pure gold. My favorite is the "crack open a cold one"
Best quote from the ABC story:
"The hospital also notified the dead woman's next of kin after contacting authorities."
Uh, hello, this is the hospital. Remember how you were sort of relieved that your mum's pain was gone and she was in a better place. Yeah, well about that….