Um, so I kinda didn't do an NBA preview (although today's Saint Andrew's Net is an all-basketball affair worth your perusal). You'll forgive me for not ringing a triangle and announcing to the entire ranch the arrival of the NBA season. Don't get me wrong: it's nice to have hoops back, but it's a long trudge through the winter months until teams kick it into high gear and the games feel like they matter. So I welcome back the NBA not with a loving grope, but with a polite pat on the ass. Here are last night's scores:
Rockets 95, Lakers 93
Kobe gets announced to the home crowd; home crowd boos. Kobe drops 45; home crowd cheers. But Shane Battier's 3-pointer with 2.5 seconds left lifted the Rockets to a win in Rick Adelman's debut for Houston.
Jazz 117, Warriors 96
Eh, just roll the tape from last year's conference semis. Boozer dominates, Deron Williams slashes and dishes, and AK-47 plays some inspired, tear-free minutes. White people cheer, go to Thailand to spread Christianity.
Spurs 106, Blazers 97
This game was interesting right up until the point Greg Oden had knee surgery a month ago. Tim Duncan went for 24/13 and a contract extension, while Tony Longoria had 19 and a pedicure. In related news, I fucking hate the Spurs. And San Antonio ain't no pleasure palace neither. That fantastic River Walk you always hear about? It's a sewer.
![[avatar]](http://p.uproxxcdn.com/photo/226/thumb)
![[image]](http://cdn.wl.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/Kate-Upton-Jersey-Model-180x180.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.wl.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/Sad-James-Dolan-is-Sad-180x180.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.wl.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/wilt-chamberlain-cat-180x180.png)
![[image]](http://cdn.wl.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/macklemore-detlef-180x180.png)
David Stern is breathing a sigh of relief this morning as the NBA returns to With Leather.
Uff, I'd ask if you wanted to make a bet on tonight's Sonics-Nuggets game, but the one thing I want from you I can't get: your chiseled Hollywood looks.
We can bet for some coke, though.
Garr i be at de laker game and i be seein a couple of me old wenches from de old seas days garrrr
Great Stuff Evil Pirate Lord Bloth. Two thumbs up.
two hooks up?
GArrr, Bloth not be havin any hooks. Kronk does be havin a beg leg do does he. Captain Bloth will destroy all in ye paths Garrrrrr
Its about time we had some pirate posts around here.
Whats a pirate's favorite fast food restaurant that be specializing in roast beef sandwiches?
ARRRRRRRR-by's!
No? I'll show myself the door.
Would it be possible to include a reference about the refs in each post about the NBA. Something needs to be done for all the people who lost all their
moneyfaith in the NBA after the Suns series.Fret not, young Kobe. Even Brett Favre was booed after his first NFL pass was intercepted.
(Sorry, it's been two posts since a Favre reference, and Tony K and I needed a fix.)
@HHY - You would think so, but it's actually Long John Silvers
Garrr I be kidnappin young kobe and makin he play ball for the mates Garrrr
Looking forward to the Raps game tonight. I hear Jorge Garbajosa is dressing up like Chuck Norris, and Andrea Bargnani is going as a dirty italian looking fella.
Wait a second…
@Merk, aren't all Italians dirty looking ? (me included)
I was in San Antonio during playoffs and that river walk is just disgusting. The water is brown and has the opacity of a brick.
The pirate schtick already sucks. Kobe Bryant rapes pirates.
Opacity? This is With Leather, dumb it down for us ham-fisted mongoloids!!!
Why can't the Spurs just die? Is that too much to ask for? I stopped masturbating! I held up my end of the bargain! Do you think it's easy wearing mittens all the time!
//shakes fist at God
Garrr Enrico, what be yer use in dis world, you be annoying and small-cocked, garrrr
ARRRRRRRR-by's!
What be some of the films ye've been in?
Jarhead?
Jaaaaaaaarhead!
Garden State?
Gaaaaaaaardenstate!
Enrico Palazzo wheels…he deals…Evil Pirate Lord Bloth sitting on a changeup hits in into the upper decks! Fantastic swing, Evil Pirate Lord Bloth, Fantastic!
GArrr mutumbo, you speak pirate quite welll, garrr, i might have to recruit you to the crew of de maelstrom, garrr
..white people return from Thailand to spread syphilis and face child sodomy charges.
Pretty sure child sodomy is legal in Thailand. Just expensive is all.
Ahh Thailand…the real China and where Americans can make their dreams come true. i.e. Child Sodomy
Pretty sure child sodomy is legal in Thailant. Just expensive is all.
Do you promise?
/Gary Glitter
You jackasses are disgusting.
I forgot to buy the NBA League Pass this season, on purpose.
Stern = Asshat
Well it's not like you're suppose to swim in the River Walk. It's got a shit load of bars and restaurants next to it. It's suppose to look like a bunch of people threw up nachos and tequila in there because they did throw up nachos and tequila in there. Between the stores, bars, and restaurants it's cool going down there.
Real Joe Buck and fake Joe Buck eat dick salads.