
Yes, yes: we heard. Brett Favre broke Dan Marino's record. Yippee. We're all thrilled. But since Favre didn't suck, that's all the mention he gets from With Leather. We've got more pressing issues, like figuring out if the Eagles' offensive line is less competent than Norv Turner (trick question: no one is more incompetent than Norv Turner). So, on with the Suck-Off:
The Dolphins' defense gets a nod, as the Raiders rolled up 300 yards rushing in a 35-17 win tentatively titled Culpepper's Revenge – sounds like a swashbuckling high-seas adventure, but Daunte (3 TD's rushing, 2 passing) been asked to stay away from boats. And the Rams need to be applauded for their consistent, all-around sucking: the defense and offense looked equally bad in falling to 0-4 with a 35-7 loss to the Cowboys. Elsewhere in the NFC, Brian Griese was not the solution the Bears needed, as he tossed 3 INT's while Chicago gave up 34 points in the 4th quarter of a 37-27 loss to the Lions.
Which brings us to our final two, Norv Turner and the Eagles offensive line. ¿Quien es mas sucko? Well, Norv's got some pretty impressive credentials. You've got to be a pretty big fuck-up to take a 14-2 team and make it 1-3 by losing to a Chiefs team that looked like one of the worst in the league the first three weeks of the season. But Norv's the easy choice, and I like to reward record-breaking performances, so I'll give it to the Eagles O-line (specifically second-year LT Winston Justice), which allowed Giants defenders to rack up 12 sacks in Philly's 16-3 embarrassment last night. Suddenly those throwback unis don't look so bad.


Thank God my Bills did not make this list. Did anyone catch the legend beginning for Mr. Edwards??? I thought not.
Donovan was on his back more than a whore on payday!! WOO-HOO!!!
We all know how much criticism he will take for being a black QB after that game.
I make it a point to never watch a game that features two NFC East teams. This is difficult seeing as how I live in New York, but I try my best.
I think this is all a great ruse by San Diego (a whale's vagina) to get a top 10 pick so they can draft a Good Wide Receiver. Brilliant!
Also, Did you see how many times McNabb has to get sacked to suck as much as a white Quarterback?
Even if they don't play football, how can we not give a special accolade to the Mets, the Hoover of the Week.
My local Philadelphia-style eatery is looking to install a revolving door. I recommended them to hire Winston Justice.
The Bears are the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked. Except for Hester.
I wonder if Justice will blame not being able to block because he is black?
nice to see the Texans have returned to their weekly sucking. Making Joey Harrington look all-pro. That takes talent.
Norv Turner is the obvious winner. Yes, I know the Eagles gave up 12 sacks. But Norv had LT get 16 carries for 116 yards in the first half, and his team led 16-6.
LT finished with 20 carries. So, in his infinite wisdom, Norv decided the best way to hold a ten point lead with the best RB in the game was to not get him the ball. 4 second half carries. What a fucking asshole.
Yes, I took San Diego in my suicide pool. Fuck Norv Turner.
THE NHL SEASON BEGAN.
Norv and Ron Turner are football's version of Eric and Lyle Menendez.
Arr! Neckbeard off the starboard bow!
You're right Jim Jones, let's not ignore how bad the NHL sucks!
… and Kevin Curtis.
LOL @ Andy Reid, quite possible the stupidest coach in NFL history.
How bout them Raiders? Superbowl….
I know you're a Seahawks fan, Ufford, but not mentioning my Niners in the suckoff was a criminal oversight. You must not have seen any of that game. If you had, you might have seen San Fran do things like follow up a 16 yard gain with THREE CONSECUTIVE false start penalties. That's discipline. They also punted like 15 times.
What do you expect when you QB is Trent Dilfer?
The Chargers organization got what they deserved after firing a coach with a 14-2 record whose big sin was losing to Bill Belichick and the Patriots, and doing so after all the top head coaching candidates were already off the market.
Which sucks because the team and the fans deserve better than that.
Even though he was benched, I'd like to nominate Rex Grossman. I heard he fumbled the clipboard three times.
As a San Diego fan, I feel violated. First, the Padres do the slow, painful fade. Then, the Chargers take a gigantic dump on my television. I cannot express how unacceptable it is to lose by two TDs at home to the Chiefs. I see nowhere for them to go. It's not like we can get Notre Dame on the schedule. It's just so, so, dark. Hold me?
Sir I commend you for your restraint in neglecting to mention the Seahawks six sacks yesterday. Wait — I just saw that post on fanhouse. Nevermind.