10.22.07 MONDAY SUCK-OFF: OOH, A FIELD GOAL RECORD
Count me among the people who don't give a shit about Rob Bironas's field goal record. You kicked 8 field goals? Wow, way to bore me four times as much as the average kicker. Don't get me wrong; it's a nice little accomplishment, and kicking the game-winner was a nice way to cap it off. But let's be serious: nobody cares.
And now to determine who sucked most. The Dolphins get a couple votes for getting to a perfect 0-7, but they get off the hook because everyone gets their rectum worn out against the Patriots. Also 0-7 are the shitacular Rams, who turned the ball over five times in a 33-6 loss in Seattle. But for all their offensive ineptitude, St. Louis still made the shitty Seahawks offense look shitty, and preserving the status quo won't win you the Suck-Off.
I've done some thinking, and second place this week goes to the Bears offense. What a boring, shitty display of miscues they have in their arsenal every week. And since that offensive unit put together a 97-yard touchdown drive with less than two minutes to go and no timeouts, first place goes to the Philadelphia Eagles. You guys suck.
(All photos by Getty Images in this NFL.com gallery)
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There are 17 comments about:
MONDAY SUCK-OFF: OOH, A FIELD GOAL RECORD
Grammatica's celebratory torn ACL/MCL > Bironas
Can I nominate Football Night in America for the Suck-Off?
I actually like Collinsworth, but that show is otherwise unwatchable.
An 8 FG football game is still > a 8-goal soccer game
I really respect the Eagles for winning this award, because McNabb has to work harder for it.
Mark my words, one day we will all appreciate the genius that is Brad Childress.
What a fucking douche.
I care about Rob Bironas. With my kicker on a bye I happened to pick up Bironas to replace him. That's right. I'm the asshole who just beat your fantasy team because I lucked into a 28 point performance from my kicker, and now I won't shut up about it.
The bears are what we thought they were. Shitty.
Better than the guy who luckily picked up Bironas this week would be the guy who picks him up next week because he thinks it might happen again
@Vanilla - At least you're not the guy who beat me because he actually paid attention to football this weekend and picked up Kerry Collins just in time to beat me while i started Vince Young who sat comfortably on his underachieving ass.
/fantasy rant.
@alumni - but they're playing Collins' old team, the Raiders. He'll be extra fired up to be nothing but a field position pawn for a second straight week.
Jeff Garcis wishes he could be part of our suck off.
Do John McKay and LeRoy Selmon get together with a bunch of old Bucaneers to drink a champagne toast every season when the last winless team finally puts up a W?
Rob Bironas celebrated in true kicker fashion, with a full dinner at the Olive Garden, INCLUDING both wine and dessert. You deserve it buddy, go ahead, order that combo platter.
Fuck you, Rob Bironas!
/disgruntled Texans fan
Anyone who still thinks the Cowboys belong on the same level as the Patriots is an idiot. They were lucky to beat a shitty Vikings team, at home. If they make it to the Super Bowl, it will only be because the rest of the NFC is so pathetic.
I nominate Bironas for the suck off. If he didn't kick the piss out of the ball, I never would have had to hear Chris Berman sing "My Sharona" last night.
Reid is a bloated lump of dough w/ a hat and clipboard. My hope is that he just explodes on the sidelines next week. This man let the Bears defense run down the field to score w/ 1:53 left and he still had 2 timeouts left he did not use. Stay home and take care of your troubled offspring Tubby!!. Jim Johnsonshould be head coach!!
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