10.15.07 MONDAY P.M. SUCK-OFF: HERETIC BEARS
Welcome to a very special afternoon edition of the Monday Morning Suck-Off. Contrary to popular opinion, the Seahawks' loss to the Saints has nothing to do with the lateness of the Suck-Off, although Mike Holmgren and Joe Gibbs (whose Redskins pissed away several opportunities to win) deserve special mentions as the suckiest coaches who still have jobs because they won a Super Bowl a long time ago.
Who else sucks? The Bengals fell to 1-4 against the Chiefs, the Dolphins remained winless, the Cardinals got beaten by Vinny Testaverde, and the Bears (photo, above) showed the proper respect to PURPLE JESUS, kneeling in His presence whenever he ran by. PURPLE JESUS finished with 224 yards and three touchdowns on 20 carries while adding a 55-yard kickoff return that set up the game-wining field goal. Amen.
But the most suck-tastic team in the NFL? The injury-depleted Rams, who lost 22-3 in Baltimore behind Gus Frerotte's six turnovers (five INT's and a lost fumble). I don't care what the t-shirts say, Frerotte is not fr'real. The way he got handled by the Baltimore D, he should consider a name change to Gus Frottage.
NOTE: This whore can die in a fire.
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There are 14 comments about:
MONDAY P.M. SUCK-OFF: HERETIC BEARS
Big ups to Wade Phillips. 4th-and-goal on the 4, down 14, 4th quarter…let's kick the FG. We're not trying to win, we just want to cover. My tits are large.
Open letter to Brad Childress: see what good things happen when Purple Jesus is in the game in the 4th quarter?
Holmgren had a horrible, horrible game. 4th and 3? Call timeout, then run draw with
Shaun Alexandersome unknown fullback. Onside kick with 6 and a half minutes left? Why not. Down 28-17, 4th and 9 on the Saints 20. Need a field goal and a touchdown to tie. Kick a field goal here and then try another onside kick? No. Go for it on 4th and 9, thus negating any chance of tying the game. That was the second worst coaching performance I saw last week (Dave Wannstedt vs. Navy on Thursday).I'm glad Drew Brees was able to get the ball to his touchdown receivers.
How about a little Redskins blame for Santana Moss, who couldn't catch the clap on a <i>The Simple Life</i> guest shot and the rest of his crew. Seven drops?
Stupid tags.
NOTE: This whore can die in a fire
Understatement. Die slowly…extra crispy…and any offspring she may have.
Wes Welker and Donte Stallworth kicked ass up and down the field. Unless the Colts have found three Champ Bailey's living in a homeless shelter in downtown Indy, they are going to lose by 13 in a few weeks.
The Carolina Panthers are 4-2? With David Carr and Vinny Testaverde contributing to wins? Bizarre.
The Patriots have an outside chance of clinching the AFC East with 7 games left. That's f'n crazy.
There will be an 8-8 NFC Wildcard team that wins their division.
I really wish some coaches would grow a pair and push their teams. The Pats are essentially unstoppable this year but we see crap like Wade Phillips pulled. Yes, the 'boys were already going to lose the game. Cmon man… who is it going to hurt if you just bloody tried to push that fourth down? If successful, you give your team the motivational push to try and win this thing. If unsuccessful, the Pats get mediocre field position and you keep losing anyway. whowillsexmutombo and hardawayhatesyou are right, along with Gregg Easterbrook (Tuesday Morning Quarterback on ESPN) for years — QUIT PUNTING.
I keep trying to watch the NFL. I want to like the NFL. Week in and week out, my Saturdays filled with college ball are more entertaining than the entire first quarter of the NFL season.
@Kennedy, I'm no genious or nothing but I'm pretty sure if you win your division your not a wild card team, regardless of record.
good call lscwxman, kennedy is a moron
kennedy is a fantastic postman!!! Santana Moss needs to be squicked every day this week.
Please don't refer to that cunt as a whore. Whores are good people who just have sex a lot. This cunt, on the other hand, needs a Hostel sequel devoted entirely to her.
Yep. The ONLY reason the "sucky" Job Gibbs has a job because he won a Super Bowl a long time ago. I'll remember that next time I google "Hall of Fame coaches enshrined in Canton, Ohio" and happen to find the "sucky" Joe Gibbs name.
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