I've never really put much thought into why I hate Joe Buck so much. "I hate his stupid face" is about as introspective as I get in the matter. But does a mongoose have to think about why the cobra is his enemy? Hell no, he just jumps out of the way, then sinks his teeth into the poisonous reptile. That's just how I roll: pure animal instinct.
But this video from Burly Sports helped me realize, hey, this douchebag is also boring as hell. Thanks, Burly. And nice work adding Old Rich People (who did the Royals and black QBs videos featured here) and Doug and Doug to your roster. Now I'm going to have to go to one more website every day, which I totally don't have time for. My days are already too packed with porn analysis as it is. Oh, you scoff now, but YOU try establishing the difference between "white male-black tail" and "white guy-black pie."
![[avatar]](http://p.uproxxcdn.com/photo/226/thumb)
![[image]](http://cdn.wl.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/03/Bill-Walton-180x180.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.wl.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2012/10/Buck-Sign-180x180.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.wl.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2012/07/dont_lay_an_egg_dash-180x180.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.wl.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2012/04/Buck-4-180x180.jpg)
"And the Enola Gay flies over Hiroshima…the parachute is open…and boom goes the dynamite…and the war is over. Stay tuned for an all new "House" on Fix in 60 years."
what about "white dicks-black chicks" ?
For God's sake, show a little emotion!
/Suzyn Waldman
"Chicks with Dicks in Black and White"
Why don't you hippies put the bong down and show a little class. I make more in 1 ballgame than any of you make in a year. Plus, chicks dig me, alot. Do they dig you?
That can't be the real Joe Buck – he didn't say the comments were disgusting.
"Hello? Is this the Stab-Joe-Buck-in-the-Face-with-a-Smoldering-Soldering-Iron bandwagon? I'd like to make a reservation for one, please."
Two words "jub jub"
"…A plane has flown into the tower, I guess the tower never saw that coming… Don't forget to stop by Taco Bell for your free Taco on October 30th."
His deadpan approach and no-nonsense delivery appeals to me.
/Henry Kissinger
Joe Buck has got to be CGI but without the artificial intelligence thing working.
Joe Buck is Max Headroom reincarnated, but with a charisma bypass and no functional sense of humor.
+1 Texas. Well played.
Stay Hard.
"And here comes the president's motorcade. It has turned on Elm, and there seems to be a ruckus of some sort. And the president's head has just been blown off. Stay tuned to Fox as Peter helps Chris get the hot girl in school on an all new 'Family Guy'."
Could Joe Buck want Jonothan Papelbon's nuts any more? I swear to God, every other pitch he talks about how Papelbon is so funny and "marches to his own drum" and has a "devil may care attitude" and how "wonderful he is." After game 7 of the ALCS, he actually called him "a beauty."
Good, no complaints yet about everyone piling on Joe Buck.
Kids are running around the Columbine High school…..They are screaming something……These guys should all be in class….Aaaand in goes the police….Which reminds, COPS will be on FOX tonight falling your local news program.
reminds *me Falling *following
God damn!
"Affixed to the cross, raised into position, and…. with that celebratory poke from a roman, we'll send back to Prison Break, already in progress"
Matt, will there be a Prelude today ?
I'm assuming the video link tagged "topless asian girl dropping mad football rhymes" will get me fired if I click on it.
"Ty Cobb at the plate, and he hits a slow roller to the shortstop…looks to be a close finish at first base, and….Cobb slides into the first baseman, spikes first. He's on the ground, and….yes, he is bleeding profusely. Now, both benches clear, and all the players are rioting on the field. Cobb was called out, and he is now beating the umpire within an inch of his life. Cobb suddenly stops, as a fan yelled some innocuous, and now Cobb is running into the grandstands, and….he pulls out a toothbrush from his uniformed, sharpened into a spike at the tip, and….yes, he is stabbing the fan repeatedly.
Well, Cobb is sure to be removed from this game, but at least he didn't mime pulling down his pants and mooning the crowd. That would have been disgusting and unforgivable, almost as bad as letting a black man play in the majors.
As Cobb is being led out of the stadium in handcuffs, we remind you that "America's Most Wanting" is back for it's 18th season, here on the Dupont radio network!"
And yes, "America's Most Wanted" has been around so long, it predates the invention of the radio.
I have 6 Emmys, a 13 inch cock, and a warehouse full of classic cars. Boo-yah!
If Joe Buck is Marty McFly, does that make Tim McCarver the borderline insane radical, Dr. Emmett Brown???
@Enrico
Harry Caray would be Doc Brown and Tim McCarver would be Biff Tannen.
That doesn't make sense since Tim and Joe are buddies. It definitely means that Jub Jub Meyers is Einstein the dog and Marty's girlfriend (Jennifer) is Ken Rosenthal though.
It all makes sense if Joe Morgan is George McFly.
dunno, joe buck was pretty excited when wainwright struck out beltran in game 7 last year. fucking useless piece of shit cardinals homer