JAPAN: RACE-WALKER CHASED BY SAMURAI
10.29.07Today in Japanese television: have a world champion race walker attempt to break a record, then have samurai chase him to see if he breaks into a run.
Ordinarily, this is where I make some comment about how the Japanese are the most brilliantly perverse people on the planet, which gives me the opportunity to talk about tentacle Hello Kitty porn or whatever. But not today. This concept is simply too impressive to sully with "groping schoolgirls on public transportation" or frottage jokes. And you know how I love frottage jokes. And frottage.
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umm.. i'm gonna go ahead and put this up there, just in case anyone else didn't know.
Main Entry: frot·tage Pronunciation: \frȯ-ˈtäzh\ Function: noun Etymology: French, from frotter to rub Date: 1935 1: the technique of creating a design by rubbing (as with a pencil) over an object placed underneath the paper; also : a composition so made2: the act of obtaining sexual stimulation by rubbing against a person or object
i’m assuming it’s the 2nd one that matt loves so much.
Spectacular. The Japanese are better than we are at pranking. But we still got 'em in penis size* and fewest cities destroyed by atomic bombs.
*Research done via racist jokes and porn.
They also have us at math, and taking 20 minutes to parallel-park in a 20 foot spot.
I think that Mr.Merk needs a little more time in the batting cages, if you know what I mean. Boo-yah!
I also had no idea what frottage is, but now that I know, I realize that I was a pro at it from 1989-1993.
JP losman says JP is a pirate, garr garr
Leave it to the French to make a lap dance sound like cheese.
See you on the subway.
Five years is a shot career for a frotter-er.
Ladies love frottage cheese.
+1 Swing
Fuck you Joe Buck, that is all
World champion speed walkers fear frottage with samurai.
The Japenese are awesome. We should just put them on a planet and let them create gameshows etc for the US Americans to stream on TV.
Couldn't they have just used the sound effect of an A-Bomb dropping?
Also, not to encourage racist stereotypes, but I have to point out that even with 50 video cameras capturing this "event", the organizers still felt the need to snap a commemorative photo at the end. Sometimes it's the unintentional things that are the funniest.
The only thing more disgusting than Mr. Merk's habit of keeping some kind of score in the chatroom is the sight of Randy Moss pretending to expose his buttocks to thousands of honest hard-working Americans. Instead of saying +1, try using your words, like "Kudos."
Matt?
C’mon… live the dream.
I didn't get my star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame by backing down to guys the likes of Merk. I made my bones doing Winter League games while pansies like Merk were busy playing with their sister's Barbie Dolls. Boo-yah!
Hey, I earned that +1. Fuck off, Joe Buck (wow, I've wanted to say that for years).
Touche, swing 4, Touche. That reminds me of the 1993 ALCS. Funny Story. We were busy doing our pre-game walk through when Tim McCarver & Joe Morgan ran onto the set wearing groucho marx fake eyeglasses and moustache. In perfect unison (and perfect German accents) they exclaimed, "Fuck off, Joe Buck." Th entire cast & crew had a good laugh.
Anyone trying to impersonate Joe Buck lacks construda. Keep trying, you still aren't funny.
Since I said this, I better say something hilarious…JonBenet Ramsey tasted good.
The other white meat?
I don't get paid millions to be funny. I get paid millions to be the Gold Standard of Major League Baseball play by play men. My sources tell me that people that make sick jokes about little girls are a little "light in the loafers." They make the sick jokes to appear more virile, masculine. Boo-yah!
I hate to say it, but the image of McCarver and Morgan in disguise telling Buck to fuck off is actually funny.
I hope encouraging Joe Buck doesnt get me banned.
Gary Sheffield thinks it's easy to control Hispanic run walkers with Samuris
It's a shame that Joe Buck wasn't actually doing MLB in '93. Nice try though, fuck stick.
Weed against Speed – That Nagasaki sound could be coming to a city near you – soon!