BURY MY SAVINGS AT WOUNDED KNEE
10.13.07
In a thrilling contest between Big Ten powerhouses Illinois and Iowa, Kirk Ferentz's mighty Hawkeyes held on to defeat the Fightin' Illini 10-6 in a Iowa City. Oh wait, did I say thrilling? I meant coma-inducing. I guess it was interesting to watch another Big Ten team lose to a crappy opponent and more importantly, not cover the spread. If there are any shaman, priests, rabbis, or ministers out there who have a direct line to the Big Guy, please ask Him what I've done to anger Him so. Obviously, He is suspending free choice of will for the players of the games on which I place friendly wagers just to irk me. That is the only explanation – there is no way that God is a fan of the bumblebees. In other news, Ron Zook pushed a cameraman after the game – bravo sir!
Anyway, I tried to find a photo of Capt. Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce duping Lt. Col. Henry Blake (whose alma mater was Illinois) in one of his comedic schemes to represent the gravity of this loss, but this is what I found. Of course, I only researched the interwebs for 2 minutes, but my favorite episode of M*A*S*H* is on and it won't be replayed on TVLand for at least 3 hours. -KD

The problem with the Big 10 is that their head coaches are a collective 1,035 years-old (and I'm not counting JoePa and Lloyd Carr who have already died but had their bodies stuffed and turned into puppets by over-zealous boosters).
That's what you get for betting on the Big Ten. I attend a Big Ten school and trust me man — leave this conference alone. We beat on each other all year long and rarely produce anything meaningful in the BCS games. We have our moments, yes (Penn State/FSU) but by and large, we suck out loud.
It really hurts attending here during football season, disappointment after disappointment. Luckily I'm a vocal SEC (geaux Tigers!) fan and while I'm eating a tiny piece of crow this weekend, I've enjoyed this season.
Well Kev, remember: Suicide IS painless…