Gone Baby Gone director and Reindeer Games star Ben Affleck has slightly stronger feelings about the Red Sox-Yankees rivalry than Rudy Giuliani, who recently doomed his presidential run by flip-flopping on that issue. Affleck:
"I would rather say the line, ‘I worship you, Satan,' than say my favorite baseball team is the Yankees… I got family in Boston… They don't take this stuff lightly."
And I would rather say the line, "I would totally bang Rosie O'Donnell" than say my favorite movie is Bounce. I got family who have taste in movies. They don't take that stuff lightly.
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He WAS the bomb in Phantoms, however.
He'd rather say he'd band Matt Damon than say anything else in the whole world. How 'bout dem apples, college boy.
Who wouldn't totally bang Rosie O'Donnell???
(You mean "bang" like, shoot with a gun that goes "bang", right?)
BANG!
"I would totally bang Rosie O'Donnell" than say my favorite movie is [insert name of any Ben Affleck movie].
/fixed
I admire Mr. Affleck's loyalty. It takes a brave man to admit on record that you're a die-hard fan of a team currently up 2-0 in the World Series. It's that devil-may-care attitude that allows him to continue landing leading roles, despite the fact that he sucks Matt Damon's cock.
"I got family in Boston… They don't take this stuff lightly."
Education? A job? Heterosexuality? Those seem to be other hot button issues for New Englanders.
Band !
I wouldn't mind banging Jennifer Garner in a very uncomfortable place.
Clerks endorses no celebrities – except for Ben Affleck, pre-Reindeer Games.
Also:
"Well, well, well. Look at these dirt merchants right here. Smells like somebody shit in their cereal. Boooong!"
Herc, you mean like the back seat of a small car? That might be uncomfortable. But I'd still band(!) her, like a screen door in a tornado.
ill bet if you dropped this pussy outside yankee stadium after "Free Whiskey and Speed Night" for the bleachers, he would change his fucking tune.
I thought "Glory Daze" from 96 was alright.
That is all.
Right. Like we're supposed to believe Asslick hasn't said "I worship you, Satan." As if there was another way he got his career. Besides blowjobs.
Gigli was on par with Hey-Ho's singing skills.
Just one more reason to hate Boston.
Fred O'Bannion is a cawksukah
If Benny boy had only shacked up with Andrew Cunanan early in his career just imagine all the needless suffering that could have been avoided.
I'm going to go BAND! myself.
LOL – Must be a slow day in WithLeatherLand if ya gotta break out the Ben Affleck-bashing! That's like beating up a quadriplegic.
I guess a "I hate Bill Simmons so much – But for some reason I still drone on and on about him incessantly" article is also in the works, eh? Has he filmed any mo-cap spots for MLB 2009 yet?
Or a "Damn, I can't stand Joe Buck" one. Wait – that's already up!
Hey atari, go fuck yourself. How often have I written about Simmons? Maybe twice?
Is atari actually Affleck? Cuz that would be awesome! Atari, what's Jason Mewes really like?
I actually dont mind Affleck. He seems like a decent enough guy. He's made some bad choices in roles and women (J-Lo), but he seems relatively normal.
Although I think Simmons is an asshat and I will continue to write off-topic comments about him.
I sincerely apologize, Mr. Matt.
Maybe I confused you with any of the 4 Million other bloggers (and WL commenters) that seem to have a curious vendetta against Bill Simmons… which I still haven't figured out.
Not a fan of his myself, but he doesn't fire up the hate in me like it seems to do with your readers. To me, if you don't like him, don't read his shit.
@HHY: It's just an easy target. All of the good Affleck jokes have already been told a billion times by now, by every single blogging blowhard in cyberland.
Constructive criticism is a good thing, particularly when WL is usually on the ball.
I am shocked, shocked, shocked by this picture. Ben Affleck in an Adidas wind breaker? What's next, Eli Manning looking awkward next to a pale ex-Marine?
Man I hate that guy. He's a jerk. He's a jerk, right?
Yeah, he's kind of a joke.
I hate Simmons too. What a jagoff. Did donuts on my lawn this one time, and he hit one my girl one weekend when I was out of town.
You guys do mean Larry Simmons, right? I went to high school with him. What a dick.
My 'vendetta' against Simmons is based partly on the fact that he used to be one of the best sportswriters around and now, honestly, sucks. So as a fan, that sucks.
Another part of it is the way he bashed Jason Whitlock (and the blogosphere) during a SportsNation chat a while back. It seems Mr. Simmons has conveniently forgotten he got his start writing a blog. To then denegrate those who are trying to do what he has done proves he's a douchebag.
And the other part has to do with his rampant ass-baggery. For example, he recently wrote about the Dolphins trading Chris Chambers for a second round pick, and he said (in allseriousness) that he thinks they made the deal because they want someone to improve and challenge the Patriots, because, after all, why would a team trade a 'stud' like Chris Chambers for only a second round pick. Never mind that his team just traded for the most talented receiver in football for a fourth rounder. I guess then, by his rationale, the Raiders wanted the Pats to blow up this year.
So yeah…Simmons sucks. Why do I still read him? I don't nearly as often as I did, but when I do, I'm hoping for that particular piece to be one of the 3 or 4 good ones he puts out a year.
/end of worthless rant
Affleck isn't even from Mass., but he did kick ass in Voyage of the Mimi
@ HHY – He's made some bad choices in roles and women (J-Lo)
I feel you bro about the movies but J-Lo, every guy here would tap that ass.
Tap that ass? Yes. Get engaged to her? Not in a million fucking years, my friend. Especially if youre a damn movie star who could get any women he wants (like jennifer garner, for example)
I saw Ben's new flick. His little brother is ten times the actor he is. I fucking hate this jackhole.
Wait, wait, wait, let's rewind this a bit to cover an important ethical question:
Are we now saying that it's bad to beat up a quadriplegic?
It's not bad, it's just easy. Kind of like making fun of Ben Affleck and his shitty career.
Ben Affleck is fantastic!
HHY, Simmons is fantastic. Besides The Prelude and Dick Joke Jamboroo (what a kiss ass), I look forward to his stuff every week.
Ben has everything coming to him on this blog and probably more, regardless of how easy a target he is. It's not like anyone put a gun to Affleck's head and forced him to say jackass things about his loyalties. Nor is it like anyone was waiting with bated breath for him to weigh in on the topic. It's pure self-promoting, "I'm a better man because I come from Boston and we take sports more seriously" nonsense that Bostonians are renowned and generally loathed for. Also, as someone else pointed out, way to take a brave stand when your team is two wins from taking the Series. You want real bravery? Explain to everyone that you are proud of decisions that you actually have control over. For example, tell us that Gigli, Daredevil and Jersey Girl were everything you hoped they would be and that, given the opportunity, you'd sign up for those movies again. (Feel free to insert Paycheck, Changing Lanes, Surviving Christmas as needed.) Yeah, didn't think so.
Worshipping Satan=not that bad