So, it's not NFL cheerleaders dressed in Halloween costumes, but I do leave you today with a Halloween post other than the Jon Kitna costume featured everywhere else.  Here are Arkansas football stars Darren McFadden and Felix Jones dressed as Fred Flinstone and Barney Rubble.  SPORTSCRACK, the latest blog to overdose on capital letters, writes:

Personally I think it would have been much more humorous if McFadden was dressed as a Falcon and Felix as a Dolphin… Oh wait, they play for Arkansas, they already know what it's like to play for a bad team.

ZING!  I actually like the Fred Flintstone get-up.  Not only is it more appealing than D-Mac in drag, but when you drive a Ford Crown Vic, it's only a matter of time until your ride is foot-powered. 

A quick update on who'll be taking league-mandated vacations…

Jaguars DT Marcus Stroud faces a four-game suspension for violating the NFL's steroid policy: "Stroud, 29, underwent offseason microfracture surgery on his chronically problematic right ankle, and it is believed he may have taken supplements to speed his recovery."  If his B sample also tests positive, it will cost him about $330,000 in lost wages.

Padres CF and soon-to-be free agent Mike Cameron will be suspended the first 25 games of next season after his second positive test for a banned stimulant.  I'm no sports agent, but I'd wager this probably isn't the guarantor of the multi-year deal Cameron is seeking.  In an unexpected twist, Cameron blamed a tainted supplement he took.  Damn those supplements!

So… yeah.  A behemoth lineman took steroids, and a speedy outfielder was on uppers.  I'm positively shaken to the core with this news.  What a dark day for sports, et cetera.

A New York City man who plays for the semi-pro football Empire State Titans remains in jail after security guards allegedly found him having sex with the corpse of a 92-year-old woman.  Yikes.  Like, at least have sex with one of the young, sexy corpses.  Am I right?

Anthony Merino, who works as a lab technician at Holy Name Hospital in Teaneck, N.J., was arrested Sunday after police responded to a call from a security guard at the hospital. The guard reported witnessing the lab technician sexually desecrating the woman's dead body, according to police.

Oh, and what's this we've found?  It's Anthony's MySpace page!  His interests:

Watching Movies, weight training, playing football, making mix dance/club mixes, going out to the hottest clubs in NYC, and last but not least working hard always cause I know in the end it will all pay off. The harder you work the harder you can party.

Sounds to me like he's innocent.  Necrophilia's nowhere on that list.  Well, unless you consider having sex with dead bodies "partying."  And I don't.  That's more of a quiet Tuesday evening for me.

Back in January, this picture of Gators QB Tim Tebow with a brunette stacked like three Jenga towers set the Internet on fire.  Message board traffic was varied and unreliable (shocking, I know): she was Tebow's girlfriend, but they weren't having sex because of Tebow's devout Christianity.  Or she was actually dating someone else, which made her photo with Tebow a huge source of frustration for her boyfriend.

Bottom line: who cares?  She's back is all that matters…. or is she?  A mildly retarded tipster claims that this is the mystery girl having a dip "at the lake"… which isn't exactly the specific information I'm looking for, but that's not going to stop me from going to every lake in America to see if she's still there.  Other people might say this is pin-up Lucy Pinder.

Eh, I don't really care.  It's not like my penis discriminates.

UPDATE: Now that my heart rate is back to normal, some careful examination makes me think that this is probably Lucy Pinder, although I'm not 100% certain.  I suppose technically this should be some kind of embarrassment for me, but honestly?  I have no regrets whatsoever about posting this.  It pretty much made my day.

It's not often that I dedicate an entire post to another blogger's work, but there's something out there today that's deserving of the attention it's sure to garner: FanHaus's labyrinthine series of posts that allows readers to be Alex Rodriguez in a Choose Your Own Adventure story.

I've clicked through a couple different scenarios, but I've yet to find any really good endings like "threesome with wife and stripper" or "go all-in in illegal poker room."  And I couldn't find any options where you accidentally kill an animal, violating the rules of time travel and ending the adventure.  And it's woefully short of scenarios where A-Rod dies.  But other than that, it's a pretty cool undertaking, and definitely a breath of fresh air when so many of us bloggers are all writing the same things about the same thing. 

Anyway, with the news that A-Rod just wants to win a championship, we at With Leather jumped on the imagination train and figured out an A-Rod adventure that gets him the ring he wants so desperately.  The thing is, most stars have to take a pay cut to play with the Patriots.

This is the "Mayne Event" from a few days ago, but it just recently found its way onto YouTube.  I feature it now partly out of thanks to all the good work done by WL's Photoshop guru (and resident Bills fan) 289, but mostly because former Bills RB Willis McGahee is a jackass, while current Bills RB Marshawn Lynch is a fuckin' cool dude.  Any black pro athlete in Buffalo who can embrace Applebee's — or even pretend to for his fan base — is a player I can cheer for.  Bonus for Lynch: no children out of wedlock.

"The ambience… or the decor?"