
Count me in with the thousands of fans who are heartened by the surprising (miraculous?) news that Bills tight end/special teamer Kevin Everett is showing voluntary movement in his arms and legs, an indication that he has an excellent chance of walking again. And all this is just a day after he had his third and fourth vertebrae removed in an operation that left doctors thinking he'd be paralyzed for life — if he survived at all. It's really an amazing story.
But you know what I'm getting a little tired of? All these "doctors" getting the credit. "Well, we've done everything medical science has taught us, but it looks like he's never going to walk again." The next day: "He's going to walk again! Hooray brilliant doctors!"
Hooray doctors, my ass. I'm pretty sure God didn't give doctors the power of miracles. Only one guy gets miracle power besides Tom Brady, and that's the Son of God. I better see some message board traffic thanking our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ for Kevin Everett's recovery, or I'm totally blaming Bills fans for next week's rain of flaming stones.


Carl Everett does not approve of that picture.
Big ups, J.C.
If by lord and savior you mean Brady; than yes we thank him as well as the creation of microwavable mini pizza bagels they are so delicious
THANK YOU JEEEEESSSSSUS!!!!!!!! Thank you for letting me send those two hookers too you for judgement. Don't believe them way they start complaning about how they were tied up and stuff. They could have ducked. I will send some more your way tonight!
*when. Got excited about my service….
"Oh, dear sweet baby Jesus, If you have to send down a rain of flaming stones, please send them to the bronx… 161st Street and River Avenue to be exact. Amen."
Jesus, much like Tom Brady, uses hidden cameras to steal the signs indicating Lucifer's wicked plans. Crafty Jesus.
Way to go, Christ.
fuck u 2ndbasement. Brady is a saint.
And dont forget about Buhda……………..just ask the Taliban after they blew up 2 of his statues for fun.
and Jebus, Conficious, Allah, and ……
If Jesus loved this guy so much, wouldn't he have made him a starter??
Oh, and not allowed it to happen in the first place, that too.
Nice of Jesus to take time out from forgiving Paul Byrd's porno sins. Hopefully he can cure Tammy Faye next. Oops…clock showing triple zeroes on that one…
Fuck the Bills. Where was Jesus when I needed Denver to miss that FG? That one field goal single-handedly cost me the rather sizable office pool.
I'm all Jesused out after that last post.
Jesus hates our team. I was going in for a touchdown until Jesus made me fumble . . .
WWJD ?
Just noticed the 'sacrilicious' tag. Awesome.
(in Homer voice): Mmmmmm….delicious sacriledge.
That's an excellent sentiment, but rather than shitting on doctors, why don't we take a closer look at who was describing his injury BEFORE the doctors got a hold of him. You can claim miracles all you'd like, and religion and spirituality certainly have their place, but the limitations of modern science make me wonder if his injury wasn't as serious as initial, kneejerk reposnes led us to believe. is there not a chance that despite the ambulance and everything that things looked (and were reported) as worse than they were? Isn't Eli week-to-week? Just playing devil's advocate; I don't think Kevin Everett's a faker.
Smokey, are you fucking serious?
Also, <a href="[news.yahoo.com] Griffin hates jesus.</a>
just a thought, nothing to get too riled up about. If I'm way off base, and he did make a miracluous recovery, or if the surgeons performed a miracle, or god made a miracle happen, then I'm all for it. It just seemed like a hell of a turnaround from "life-threatening" to "walking away". I'm rooting for a full recovery.
………what??
I'm expecting some karmic fucking payback headed Smokey's way.
And you know what? I'll thank Jesus for that too.
@Smokey, I wasn't actually there but things looked pretty f'ing bad.
The technology that they used on him is actually pretty fascinating. They induced hypothermia by running an ice-cold saline solution through his system, thereby reducing swelling and further damage. Pretty remarkable stuff.
I'm not saying they didn't look bad. I'm saying — you know what, continue thinking I'm a jerk, things'll go much quicker.
If I'm way off base
Let's just go ahead and assume that, and call it a day.
sounds good.
The technology that they used on him is actually pretty fascinating. They induced hypothermia by running an ice-cold saline solution through his system, thereby reducing swelling and further damage. Pretty remarkable stuff.
That is pretty incredible. That's the most specifics that I've heard, for the most part it's just been "used the extent of modern medicine". The fact that I picture you as your avatar telling me this makes it all the more enjoyable. You seem like a nice chap, someone i'd like to sit down and smoke and pipe and sip brandy with.
I just noticed that Jesus was holding a raptor. Fucking AWESOME.
Well, thank you, old chap. Maybe we can chat over a nice painting of some happy little mountains and trees.
Satan walks among us in the visage of Smokey! Satan has nothing better to do than comment on sports blogs! BOOOOOO! S-A-T-A-N-S-U-C-K-S!
(By the way, dark lord… if you win the battle of good & evil, I was totally kidding and am completely on your side. Let's go eat some babies.)
So let me get this straight:
You say, "I'm pretty sure God didn't give doctors the power of miracles." and "Hooray doctors, my ass." But doctors do the necessary procedure that may let him walk again.
Hmm…..Count me as confused
Believe in Jesus/God all you want, but the next time you need urgent medical care, I wouldn't discount the value of the medical community.
sounds good.
Let's go eat some babies… I'm psyched
Sometimes, you need to make a statement on opening weekend. Fuck the Pats, Colts and Chargers, Jesus is 4-real this season!
Smokey, Im not calling you a jerk, but you seem to be missing a few things. First, Matt's post was not at all serious–I doubt if he really cares that no one is thanking God for this turn of events. Second, to say that the injury might not be as serious as originally thought–even though it turns out he BROKE HIS SPINE BETWEEN THE THIRD AND FOURTH VERTABRAE–is somewhat "off", shall we say.
Like Biquini Steve noted earlier, what these doctors did, it seems, was fantastic and that this somewhat unproven procedure and quick thinking might have saved this guy's life.
Praise be to Allah.
And Smokey… I mean Florio… just leave. 99% of the time this injury results in paralysis. With all of this doctor's experience he's come to expect the worst as he should. A radical new treatment was used, not for the first time but for the first time ever that quickly. No one, not the doctor, not the Miami Project, had any reason to expect this to happen and even say, "hey he's going to walk." Modern science is truly amazing.
@HHY & 289… well said.
Now if i can direct your attention to the main page again. TITS!!!!
Representatives for Jesus responded:
"What is this bullshit, man? I don't fucking care! It don't matter to Jesus! But you're not fooling me! You might fool the fucks in the league office, but you don't fool Jesus!
It's bush league psych-out stuff! Laughable, man! I would've fucked you in the ass Saturday, I'll fuck you in the ass next Wednesday instead!"
Thank goodness Kevin Everett is recovering.
Also, Carl Everett thinks that picture is 100% historically accurate, except that maybe Jesus had darker skin, motherfuckers.
I'm so sorry I lapsed and didn't respond to Merk sooner. I was busy having a nervous breakdown. But it is exciting to know that Merk wants to fuck me. +1 Merk. +1.
They called in Gregory House to do a differential diagnosis. He popped a few Vicadin, wrote a bunch of medical terms on a white board, made several smart ass remarks to the other doctors, then had an epiphany while ogling a clinic patient's breasts.
Thank you Tom Cruise!
Wait, I've been thanking Jeebus all day. Sorry, Matt.
Smokey, you're more retarded than Jim Kelly's dead retarded son. See you in Hell.