I get a fair amount of hate mail. Well, not so much hate mail as indignant mail. "What's your problem with the South/St. Louis/Ohio/hookers?" they all say. (Note: I never get indignant mail from hipsters. It would require caring about something.) The truth is, I've got nothing against any of those places or people. I only really like to make fun of people who embrace their stereotype, thus reinforcing everyone's notion that a stereotype is the proper lens for viewing other people.
What I'm trying to say is that this pasty little Midwestern piglet at a Colts game disgusts me. God, even his wrists are fat. I can only hope heart disease outpaces medical technology in the coming years.
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Wanting a kid to die…God, I love this site.
I think Indianapolis is taking the horse theme a little too far by offering their food in feed buckets.
"What does mah fayce look lahk?"
Fat and stupid
Fat little fuck. Grubby little greasy ass sausage fingers. Sharpe, uncut, dirty fingernails. The sausage fingers scare the shit out of me. It's ok though, he is underweight on par for the state of Indiana.
I was afraid that his boy-tits were going to overlap the top of the popcorn bucket.
I fucking loathe this fat fucking sack of shit. I know children are usually 'fatties', but I desperately want this kid to be labeled a 'fat fuck.'
That kid sweats butter and why isn't there an adult slapping that little fat fucks face and telling him to eat like a human. i blame the parents who are most likely also fat fucks.
he doesn't even know he's at a colts game.
"Just do what we do"?
Uh… are you telling me to shove my face into a bag of food and eat until my arteries fill with rich, creamy nugat? 'cause I'll totally do that.
His parents insist it's a glandular problem.
is that vern-o from stand by me?
That kid sweats butter and why isn't there an adult slapping that little fat fucks face and telling him to eat like a human.
In his defense, this is Phillip Fulmer's busy time of year; he just drops his kids off in Indy, hoping Peyton will raise em' right.
Goddammit, all hell breaks loose when those bastards have to try and start standing up, don't it? Looks like Zapruder's holiday to Ryan's Steakhouse.
I love the kung-fu death grip he has on his popcorn. He's like a rotund Gollum.
Goddammit, all hell breaks loose when those fucking fat bastards have to try and start standing up, don't it? The video looks like Zapruder's holiday to Ryan's Steakhouse.
What the fuck did that camera man make him say to stop eating? I thought he would keep going until he ate the container, his stadium seat and his dads wrist watch then lick his fingers like he just finished a warm snikers bar.
Wow. He's tucking into that like there's tomorrow. Coincidently, the results from his cardiogram have just arrived and, oh look, for Chubby here there is no tomorrow. Why has the hospital sent me his cardiogram results?
God, my childhood was just like that. (chokes up)
That is reminiscent of me at the Olive Garden yesterday going rounds with "The Never Ending Pasta Bowl".
Got to give the kid a 9 for eating efficiency.
Got to give the parents a -3 for letting him turn into a fat douchebag.
Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life, son.
As an encore to devouring an entire bucket of popcorn in 5 minutes, Chunk celebrated with the Truffle Shuffle.
His brother made the mistake of reaching in the bucket for a handful of popcorn once. It took four hours of surgery to reattach the fingers.
I'm just glad that kid had a bottle of coca-cola to wash all that popcorn down. I'm pretty sure I could hear that kid getting fatter as he ate the popcorn.
What was the Golic family doing at a Colts game?
That's not popcorn. Those are planets.
@UpstateUnderdog: I'm surprised it wasn't Diet Coke.
All you have to do is read the letters. Can you see the letters?
Yes.
All right, read them out for me.
I-A-M-A-L-I-T-T-L-E-P-I-G-E.
@ WAS:
Agreed. I'm glad I'm not the only one who finds it hilarious when someone orders one of those triple stacks or something of the sort, a king size fry……..and a Diet Coke.
Odds on tubbys foot still being attached to his body in 10 years? 1500-1
He's just eating to numb the pain from what Tony Dungy did to him at his Bible Camp.
Gives a whole new unsexy meaning to the word "Butterface", doesn't he? Also – Enrico Pallazzo – you've got top billing on FilmDrunk right now.
That's a horrible thing to say Weed. Tony Dungy is a magnificent human being and wonderful father. Just ask his son.
Holy SHit that was fucking harsh.
This kid is the reason Isiah Thomas is in the popcorn business.
Wow, Steve03.
This Suit is Black…..
[www.denverpost.com]
Dude got lung cancer from microwave popcorn. Perhaps the above tub o shit should look it up. If his fingers aren't too fat for the keyboard or mouse.
Is this the same kid as the "Pumble" kid??? Think about it…
Steve03 < potroast&gravy
Damn Steve, that was cold… and I liked it.
And…
Why do fat kids all sound like Bob Dylan on "Nashville Skyline"?
Hopefully he won't start eating blueberry pies soon.
Boom-baba-boom-baba-boom-baba-boom-baba-boom.
After the game, that kid ate an Old '96er by himself
so that's the fat bitch that got popcorn lung, orville redenbacher's spinning in his grave.
he's actually pretty slender for a midwesterner
reche caldwell can’t believe the size of this fat fuck (for swany)
[thesportshernia.typepad.com]
hahah I love the "I think I just shit my pants" look.
Here is my emotional timeline during my reading of your post:
[Reading post] Little "piggy", that's kind of cruel…
[Beginning video] Oh, it's some kind of popcorn eating contest…
[Video playing] No one else is eating… I don't think this is a contest
[Video still playing] "Piggy" seems like a really appropriate… oh shit he's using his arm like a huge fatty napkinn.
[Video ended] Hooray for heart disease!
A real-life Cartman?
"Hey, Kyle, get your fuckin' fingers off my popcorn, goddammit!"