Port Richey, Fla. resident Fred Slaven is a Yankees fan.  You'd think he be among friends in the Tampa area, but alas: his Yankees vanity plate was stolen!  And his Yankees flag was burned!  Now all he wants is to move back to New York.  (Because New York — that's where you can find safe neighborhoods and friendly people.)

[Slaven] would also like you to know that he has been talking to a civil-rights attorney. He thinks you've committed a hate crime against him, and he won't stand for it. He wants to see special legislation passed regarding sports-related hate crimes.  His wife, Donna, also a steadfast Yankees fan, would like to say that she and her family are not loud and not rude and not obnoxious and not idiots, despite what you have said. 

Aw gee, that's great.  So it wasn't Fred and Donna but some other Yankee fans who called me a faggot for wearing a Mariners cap to Yankee Stadium this spring.  Good to know.  I guess Yankee fans are okay, after all.

[The Sporting Orange]