09.12.07 PAUL BYRD IS WRITING A GRAPHIC TELL-ALL
Indians starter Paul Byrd is out to prove that any jackass can get a book published (seventh item):
Byrd is writing what he calls a "spiritual journal'' that he is going to have published in book form and hopes to have on the market by spring training. It's called "The Free Byrd Project,'' a candid and graphic look at how he has managed to remain true to his faith despite the pitfalls associated with a ballplayer's daily lifestyle.
"It's not politically correct. It's not for a 10-year-old. It's not a bubble gum-feel good book. It's only for a certain audience,'' Byrd said. "It's more of a personal account of things I've struggled with – conversations I've had with Atheist ballplayers, coming clean with some issues I've had, like struggling with pornography on road trips when you're missing your wife – all those things you encounter because of this lifestyle."
Dealing with atheists and jerking off to pornography? Dude, that's the blogging lifestyle, not the MLB one. Take a couple groupies back to your hotel and have them do nasty things to each other on the glass coffee table while you lie underneath it with a jar of vaseline and some anal beads. Then you can write a book about your lifestyle that I'll actually care about.
[FanHaus via Futon Report]
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There are 20 comments about:
PAUL BYRD IS WRITING A GRAPHIC TELL-ALL
I struggle with pornography even when I don't miss my wife. And by struggle I mean do I look at blondes or brunettes, shaved or unshaved.
What kind of struggle can you have with porn? Lets see…..should I jerk off to a threesome or a plot-based, teacher and student fantasy? Am I in the mood for barely legal or big tits? Maybe both?
His windup tells me he's a man of the 1930s, and atheists and pornography were quite a big deal back then.
The rosin bag is conducive to extreme chafing.
Could you imagine getting this book as a birthday present? "Gee, thanks. Can't wait to read about…AHHH!! I TRIED TO FAKE IT, BUT THIS IS TERRIBLE!!! WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK I AM???" Then I'd punch my mom in the face.
White girls, Black girls, Latinas, Asians, right hand, left hand, "The Stranger", "Reverse Stranger", the "Over, Under", lotion or dry? My god, the possibilties will make your head explode!
Chapter 5: Grady Sizemore vs Tom Sizemore
like struggling with pornography on road trips when you're missing your wife -
I usually end up struggling with my cock with the Help of Pornography when I'm away from Miss TEXAS.
This has the makings of the worst Penthouse Forum letter ever.
Freebird!
"It's only for a certain audience,''
Right. Uptight religious fanatics who like to jerk off a lot. That's what we in the marketing business like to call a "very desirable demographic." They have a lot of disposable income. (The secret is that they can spend the money they save by buying porn instead of hookers on other stuff. Like more porn.)
I often struggle with pornography while my wife is in the shower.
Also, what would your wife prefer you do on a road trip? Check out Spectravision or bang groupies? Porn is probably a good safety net for millionaire athletes who inexplicably don't want to sink it into some strange.
ALSO, why doesn't one of the atheist ballplayers write a book about what a struggle it is to deal with his wet-blanket Christian teammates?
coming clean on struggling 10 year old altar boys with pornography on road trips when you're missing your wife – all those things you encounter because of this mutherfuckin' repressive lifestyle."
On my way to hell now.
There's a "Byrd in the hand, two in the bush" joke in there somewhere . . .
Leave it to a fucking born-again (there's no way he's not) to label having to play with atheists as a"pitfall." I guarantee you the other atheist players aren't coming up to him and trying to convert him to atheism.
Meanwhile I bet he's in their faces after every game. "Guys, don't go to Scores, come sit in a circle and pray with me! Then we can watch this really neat PG-13 movie my wife sent me in the mail."
anyone think hes gay? i mean he loves the cock.
Seriously, who in their right mind would write a book about the struggles of masturbation??? Besides Eddie Griffin…well, nevermind, it's hard to write a book in the ground.
What a Fag.
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