RAFER ALSTON WINS SLASHY AWARD
08.29.07
Rockets point guard Rafer Alston was charged with felony assault yesterday following a fight at a Manhattan nightclub, his second run-in with the police this month. A few weeks ago the man formerly known as street baller Skip to My Lou was charged with misdemeanor assault and public intoxication in Houston:
Alston was accused of grabbing a parking attendant's arm, shaking him and spitting on him after his vehicle was towed from a lot. The attendant said Alston parked illegally and didn't pay.
Possibly dissatisfied with the misdemeanor assault charge, he upgraded to felony assault when he allegedly slashed a man's throat with a knife at Club Stereo. But it's not as bad as it sounds, I swear.
The 41-year-old [victim] went to a hospital to be treated for a minor neck injury, then filed a complaint at a police precinct. Defense attorney Alberto Ebanks said bouncers and other witnesses told him the man didn't appear to be injured when he left the club and never bothered alerting police officers who were in the area.
I wish all these nobodies would stop making bullshit accusations against him just because he's a pro athlete. Rafer wouldn't hurt a fly. I mean, he was raised in Queens and went to college in Fresno. That's the perfect recipe for a gentle spirit.
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Lizzie Borden took an axe And gave her mother forty whacks. And when she saw what she had done She gave her father forty-one.
That's the perfect recipe for a gentle spirit,
to be in charge of the third plain of hell.
Skip to my Lou isn't the best nickname to have in prison i wouldn't think.
Spyder and AO crawled out of their boxes in front of the nightclub to see what was going on and proceeded to try and push And1 sneakers and mixtapes to the gathering crowd.
He'll cut, he'll slash, he'll jew his way down the court.
/Sean Salisbury
"Rafer and the gentleman were in the middle of a spirited game of knifey spooney when suddenly things went very awry."
@Careless: What I find most surprising is he is rumored to be a gentle lover. He even spoons after lovemaking.
What's more pathetic than a 38 year-old skateboarding meth-head? A 41 year-old club-hopper.
Ferris Bueller recommends giving the parking attendant a finski.
Why did he kill Pat Croce?
@vinceneilyoung: I thought it was Matt Geiger?
On a side note – I actually own that knife – a gigantic toy plastic knife that has red food die in compartments in it that when turned knife point down fills the blade, giving it a sinister, if not completely fake, look to it. Went well with my Punisher Halloween costume. Strange that I would see it here.
You know why Rafer failed to decapitate his man? Poor fundamentals. Instead of going with the classic and effective 2-handed throat slash, he tried to get the crowd into it with a behind-the-back, no-look throat slash.
as many dues this dude had to pay to get to the NBA coming from And 1 and he's fucking it up. If the Rockets…chuckle…CUT…chuckle…him, it's his own fault.
That sucked.
I hope the police stop Rafer "The Slasher" Alston and Rocco Dillon before they blow up The Oscars.